Is this fetish worth ending a new relationship?

[ktstyles]

I have been seeing someone I met in school for about 2 weeks. We text all the time. He is very sweet and we're looking for all the same things. Everything has been smooth sailing until tonight. I found his Twitter which show his likes to the public. I looked through them and found some very strange porn. Keep in mind there was also a lot of "normal" porn. There were things like enemas, pregnancy, birthing eggs, and obesity. I'm not taking about liking bigger women I'm taking about force feeding and being extremely full and drawing of naked women who were so large that a real human would have died before getting that big.
I really like this guy and I invaded his privacy and I feel like I shouldn't judge him based on a sexual interest. Everything else has been great with him. Is this to much of a red flag to look past? We all have things we're sexually attracted to just Because I don't understand it doesn't mean he doesn't deserve love like everyone else
My main concern is being asked to be a part of these things. Because he also liked some normal porn I would imagine he would only do what I'm comfortable with. But at the same time he should be allowed to be with someone who is into the same things. Please help. Any advice is much appreciated!!!

[LesterJester]

Some of those do sound pretty odd, but you, I and everyone else here are missing some context behind those things, which can drastically change your perspective.

First and foremost, many people have many different fetishes and sexual things that find interesting, but only within a fantasy setting. In other words, their interest in those things may stop at the videos/porn and that's it.

As an example, I have a sexual fetish I have liked since I first came across it when I was around 17. I won't go into detail here, but compared to most things, it's pretty tame and perhaps to some, kinda boring in comparison. While I like watching videos about it from time to time, I would never ask or pressure my wife (nor any of my past partners) to do it and even I wouldn't really want to do it in real life due to the risks and many potential complications that could occur. For me, it stays right where it belongs, in fantasy, and I'm quite happy to leave it like that and never experience it first hand.

Now, in regards to his specific things you mentioned, I'll play devil's advocate here. Maybe they were liked because he came across them before and wanted to show/share with his friend (s) just to gross them out, then forgot to unlike them and moved on. I did that in my 20s with some friends who'd go 'check this crazy shit out' and try to one up each other with the strange shit we'd find on the net.

I mean there could be many reasons why they're there. Maybe he likes that stuff and maybe he doesn't. Maybe he wants to do those things in real life and maybe it's something he's happy to keep just to videos.

And maybe he likes the 'normal' porn you mentioned 90% of the time but then likes to change things up out of boredom or shock value. You did say a lot of it was normal tier kinda stuff. Most of us will in time come across some strange shit on the internet that is very unique / fascinating because it's so frigging way out there you can't believe it. You'd never do it in real life and it's freaky as hell, but it's like a fk'n train wreck you can't turn away from because you can't believe people do that shit.

The point is, you don't know. I don't know. None of us know and can only toss out assumptions and personal opinions. The only way you'll know for sure is by confronting him and asking.

To me, it's a tricky situation. On one side, I'd give the benefit of the doubt and act like I didn't see a damn thing. If he brought any of that weird crap up in a way that sounded like he wanted me to do that stuff, then I'd bounce or at least try and sort out where the line is drawn.

But on the other hand, while I'd still give the benefit of the doubt and assume it's just mere fantasy stuff and nothing more, I'd want to kindly tell him / point out that all this stuff is visible for all to see on his account and he may want to fix that, as I suspect he doesn't know... But for your situation, you both have only been seeing each other for a couple of weeks. Informing him of this now may end up being utterly embarrassing and devastating for him, thinking he not only ruined things between you two before they began, but also feel exposed as some kind of circus freak.

Or do you leave it well enough alone only for someone else to point it out to him this stuff is public? Or wait until he brings it up later down the road and you point out you already know because?

Regardless, this is a perfect example of how Curiosity Killed the Cat. You were curious and went digging. Now you got a shit salad to deal with. A Pandora's box that has been opened. Your view of him has been permanently altered and seems to be in a negative way. You have decisions to make.

Either way you go, try and remember that there are a hell of a lot of people in the world with some odd fetishes and likes, but whether they keep them as fantasy and never act on them, or if they want to do more with them and push them onto others... Well, nobody knows until the time comes and it's brought up.

[Markm3212]

the porn that people look at is what they really want and not what they show to the world. lets face it when on your own you have no inhibition and no one to feel ashamed in front of as what you are looking up is not visible and the screen can't judge you.

therefore if he is looking up this type of porn, he obviously has some sort of attraction to it, otherwise why would he look it up?

your right he probably wouldn't ask you to do any of those things but deep down that is most probably his desire to do acts like that.

[kyleelyn199723]

I think it’s safe to say this guy has a porn addiction and although he probably would never ever ask you to participate in those things, you should be judging the fact that he is so addicted to porn that his porn habits are broadcasted on his social media pages. That shows his watches a lot of porn and that can dictate how he treats you in a possible relationship

[ktstyles]

Im guessing he doesn't know his likes aren't private because I didn't know until now either. But I agree with you! What do you think would change in his actions from a porn addiction?

[kyleelyn199723]

Nothing changes porn addiction really. In order for someone to change, they need to be aware they have that problem and want to change. As for you just getting to know him, I think you should just avoid trying to change him and move on.

[ktstyles]

Do you think I shouldn't talk to him anymore? Or just let that party go and continue getting to know him?

[kyleelyn199723]

If you can’t accept that he may have a porn addiction , then don’t talk to him anymore.

[ktstyles]

Oh ok. I'm fine with that I don't care. I was just concerned there was something more to it

[kyleelyn199723]

Definitely not. Just shows he spends too much time on pornhub. Maybe later when you get to know him more you should bring up that that’s on his profile to see

[ktstyles]

Yes possibly... I don't want to make him uncomfortable or feel that I violated his privacy though. I feel horrible that I even saw it

[kyleelyn199723]

Well if you decide to pursue a relationship with him, you shouldn’t feel the need to keep secrets either. You saw what you saw. It kind of disturbed you.

[ktstyles]

True. Thank you!

[ohshee]

But everybody has a kink or two or three or four I think the best bet is to just talked with him about it and ask him what it means to him I know if you really likes you he's only going to ask you to do the things that you want to do and hopefully he can take that and please you with it but eventually whatever is on his page will come up he will want to act out something or do something probably I think that's going to be up to you how far are you willing to go with him

[Ekke118]

If he asks, you could substitute with roleplay instead of... Eating til you pop as implied.
Only stop tracks if you think you would give in to his strange desire, ever were it to come up as an unhealthy request.

[ktstyles]

I've heard of men with these fetishes putting weight gaining supplements secretly in their partners food. That worries me too. But I agree with what you said

[DonkeyDan]

The porn people are interested in doesn't necessarily tie in with the things they actually want to do in real life. Porn is more about escapism and exploring fantasies that you wouldn't do for real. Also following something on twitter doesn't necessarily mean anything either. Maybe you should bring the subject of kinks up and see what he has to say about it before making any judgement.

[Celtero]

I think that it's freakish that he keeps that stuff on his public twitter...

[ktstyles]

I honestly don't think he knows his likes are public it's not like he reposted it

[Celtero]

lol... What an idiot if that's the case. But I dunno, I've seen people who think it's normal to just like all your weird and morally dubious porn out in the open for all to see. I don't think he'd make you do that stuff, so if it doesn't turn you off that he likes those sorts of things I don't think it's a problem.

[ktstyles]

It doesn't turn me off I just don't really want to partake in it.

[exitseven]

he has some really weird ideas.

[Iron_Man]

I’ve never heard of that before it’s weird

[crazy8000]

Should we see most female's as a red flag since they have rape fantasies or other such fantasies at one point in life?

[kyleelyn199723]

Um I’m sorry to say but most females have actually been sexually harassed, S/A or raped and do not fantasize about that.

[ktstyles]

Yeah I don't know of any women who fantasize about that and I'm concerned that you think women like that

[crazy8000]

Nice try to redirect 😘 A lot of the one's having them denies it. even starts absurdum campaigns like this 😉

[crazy8000]

@ktstyles Expectations and being well informed from different sources is a uncomfortable bliz for those doesn't like ito hear it 😉

[crazy8000]

Experience not expectations

[ktstyles]

Please go see a therapist

[crazy8000]

The view is mutual ktsryles 😉

[Twalli]

I like incest porn and cheating porn. I want neither in my real life. Your porn preferences don't dictate what you're looking for in a relationship

[andy530]

Everyone has kinks and not all partners have to be into the same kinks it’s ok. It is something to have a conversation about and explore together with