Very confused about sexual orientation. what should I do?

[Anonymous]

I am an 18 year old girl in my first year of university. I know Im not straight because I've been questioning my sexuality since i was 15 but I still have not come to a conclusion. I never had ANY childhood crushes growing up and i never any celebrity obessions. I had two really close female friendship in two separate occasions. We would cuddle and i would get really jealous if they hung out with other friends or had boyfriends. I think that is a good indicator that i might've liked them. However that was in grade 6-9. One of them turned out to be pan and the other one is straight. I never had a boy phase and never understood what a crush felt like. I even picked a guy that i thought was cute to have a "crush" in grade 8 because i was sick of people not believing me when i genuinely didn't like anyone. In my senior year i was willing to say that im a lesbian maybe even though it doesn't quite feel right. Then i met this guy. We would call for hours (until 4 am) every weekend. I loved talking to him and started imagining myself kissing him and it gave me butterflies. But i dont think it counts because i dont know what i would've done in a real life situation with him or if i was just confusing my platonic feelings. Coming into college now I've noticed guys more and while im not attracted to them when i see them I think they're nice to look at, same as girls. The thing thats really confusing me now is that I met this guy at a party. I was uncomfortable at first cause he would talk to me all the time and sit with me and introduced me to his friends but i didn't really like him or find him attractive. But one day i was looking at him and something switched in my brain and i thought that his arms were attractive. He is really starting to grow on me and i think about him all the time and can fantasize ab him and it turns me on. But I dont know if this is just me trying to be straight because i dont know what i would do with him if he actually made a move on me.

[ChrisMaster69]

Really hard to say, this is where labels get to be a pain.
yeah it sounds like you would be bisexual, however preferences come in to play.

couple of course of action

if you have any friends who are opening bisexual or lesbian, have a chat to them, they have went through all this questioning and may be able to help.

other option, depending on country there should be online help both nationally and locally from LGBT groups, they will have someone able to sit and listen to you and offer some direction.

the other thing you could do is just ignore it all, have a chat to him, explain how you feel and that you are questioning your sexuality. This does mean you need to know him a bit more, trust him and have an idea on his reaction.

I've been through the latter with a girl I dated, she was not 100% on where she sat and was learning about herself.

[mark000h]

It's normal to question your sexuality when you're young. Give it time, it's not a race. Don't pay attention to what others think. Do what makes you feel good about yourself. You may be straight, maybe bi, maybe only lesbian... you'll figure it out. Give it time.

[normalice]

It could just be the idea of a dick is so foreign to you that it scares you out of arousal. If you genuinely want to explore that side just find a guy that will let you experiment with your mouth. Dont worry about getting him off - just study it.

[KostasKouvalis]

You might be a demisexual. That's someone who's only sexually attracted to people they have an emotional connection with

[Asker]

OMG WAIT you might be onto something… thank you!!

[KostasKouvalis]

You're welcome. So glad I could help.

[Asker]

i looked more into it and it makes everything make so much sense. thanks again i would’ve never known unless you commented it

[KostasKouvalis]

You're very welcome. So glad I could help and ease your worries. Ironically, I learned that term on GAG as well. This site isn't entirely useless.

[LegendaryIcon]

you know from birth what you are. i hate this "confused" crap people talk about. you just don't want to accept it

[Guardian45]

Experiment without judgment until you figure out what you are. You'll KNOW when you got it right!

[lycanthrope3]

Try things, see what feels right

[Julious0202]

it's a phase, when i meet a nice guy all this will disappear

[Anonymous]

Why be in a hurry to "figure it out"? You don't have to. There's nothing wrong with just dating someone you think you might have interest in, regardless of who they are. Just take it as it comes.

I think if truth be told, there are a hell of a lot of girls like you. Female sexuality is a mystery, but so what. Just take it as it comes, learn as you go, and enjoy yourself.