My boyfriend wants to have threesome, but I'm not okay with it. What should I do?

[Tinab24]

It's been year me and my boyfriend dating each other and it seems like he is desperate for threesome. I am genuinely not interested so I said no several times. I understand his fantasy but I also know threesome will ruin our relationship and my way to look at him. The slight thought of it also makes me cry. my body is horrible and I'm not really attractive woman thought of being naked in front of another girl really scary for me.
I said no many time already.
Now boyfriend badly wants 2 females in bed anyhow it doesn't even matter to him if I'm not gonna be there and it's really upsetting me because obviously I'm not enough for him and he wants to do it with someone else who is not me. For me it's nice man's way of cheating. I'm very sad and stressed
What should I do? I have started loosing interest from him because of this situation. How should I cope up with this situation?

[HellGeist]

Just leave him if you don't want to do it. Or you can settle for sharing him. It's up to you. I wouldn't want to be with someone who wants to bang other people besides me, but I'm not you so you need to decide what it's worth to you.

Sounds like you have low self-esteem because you think your body is terrible, and so therefore you think you cannot replace him easily.

Is this guy who is pressuring you for this really so awesome that you want to put up with this? Or do you just not want to be alone?

I'm sorry, but your relationship is doomed. You may as well leave with your dignity intact now, because It's clear he's not really that into you if he wants a threesome at all costs even if you're not even one of the women!

If you give in he'll just want it more and he'll keep doing it and likely start fucking the other woman or women on the side when you're not around like what happened with this other couple that posted on here about having a threesome.

If you give in you will have a mark on you that will bring you shame and probably psychological trauma. You could end up hating yourself and damaging your self-esteem even more.

And then what will you tell the next guy you're with when this dude inevitably leaves you even if you give into the threesome? That you had a threesome with your ex and another woman, and then he will wonder why you were willing to do that for your ex and not for him!

It's not worth it, clearly. But you are a grown woman.

[DonkeyDan]

If you've told him you're not interested and he's kept on about it just fuck him off and move on, he has no respect for your boundaries, then he can have as many rhreespmes as he likes.
Or you could fuck with his head, and tell him that if he wants to have a threesome with 2 girls you insist on having a threesone with 2 guys first, and you want to see him with the other guy. That will probably freak him the fuck out, while he's having a small breakdown at the thought of that you can dump him.

[bobalife]

I'm sorry, your boyfriend is horrible. Please dump the man or give him the talk that if he is going to proceed having sex with others, then it is over because he is literally disrespecting your feelings & boundaries aka cheating to meet his sexual fantasies. One of my exes used to push me in the same threesome fantasies, which I always say no to as I am monogamous and it can be annoying when they keep bringing it up even after you say no because it is almost like they aren't hearing your discomfort to it. However, I hope the next man you date will be more respectful.

[bobalife]

Update: what was the resolution?

[Tinab24]

I broke up with him

[loveslongnails]

Excellent choice !!!

[bobalife]

I'm sorry, it must not be an easy decision and hurtful to do... but just know you did the best thing for yourself if he wasn't willingly to be respectful and loyal.

[p043k3j]

No one should be pressuring you emotionally or physically into doing something you don’t want to do. If you have already said no several times, then he shouldn’t be asking anymore, but obviously he doesn’t get it. He is placing his fantasies and satisfaction above yours. Anyone that does that, does not deserve to have your body and your heart.
He doesn’t care for you, as painful as that is to accept. I know it’s easier said than done when you care for someone, but love yourself first, you should walk away and never look back.

[Twalli]

That's not always true. My girlfriend said no several times to anal. Eventually she was willing to try it. She loves it. Without knowing why your SO is saying no, you don't know if its unequivocal. With this situation, it sounds like it is. With my girlfriend, I knew it wasn't. So it is possible that her boyfriend doesn't know that it's an unequivocal no.

[p043k3j]

@Twalli Obviously my opinion and advice is based on what you and I both read. You just said, with this situation it sounds like is unequivocal, not every situation is the same, i agree with you. She’s not asking should I try it? I would like to try but I’m not sure? My opinion would have been different if that was the question, I’m intelligent enough to know the difference. She’s saying she’s upset and is losing interest in him because he’s willing to have it without her. If he’s willing to have it without her, he’s not worth her tears and emotions , it is just the way it should be, it is for me and many other women, don’t care if a man does not agree with my decision to feel respected. At the end of the day, it is still her decision and should she not feel pressured into exchanging body fluids with a third person, it’s kind of a big deal here. We are not just picking Vanilla or chocolate flavor. She should do what makes her happy and makes her feel respected.

[Twalli]

I'm just pointing out that a lot of couples sem ro gray due to poor communication. If he thinks she's on the fence on it and hasn't decided to do it yet, then he'll keep asking. That's why I kept asking my girlfriend. I knew she wasn't saying "never", she was just saying "not yet". This girl needs to make it clear that her "no" is a "never" so they either break up or it remains an unfulfilled fantasy. I kind of like the idea of a threesome, but I know my girlfriend doesn't and I know she won't change her mind by me asking.

[p043k3j]

@Twalli well that’s not really what you said but ok, I see your point , I agree communication is 1,000% important between couples. You were asking me why am I so set on no, even though we both have the same perception when we read this, but I already said why and we can disagree on opinions, that’s the beauty of a discussion. Also, you have great advice for her when you say to tell him her “ no” is a never! Say that to her ! Make it clear, but if he doesn’t stop, she’s is seriously waisting her time. I was with husband for 27 years, he asked for a lot of things, some I didn’t agree to but A LOT I happily gave, because he always made me feel loved and respected, that was the difference. I’m stuck on him willing to do it without her just to satisfy an urge, yeah nope. But then again that’s her decision to make and to live with.

[Markm3212]

DUMP HIS SORRY ASS

sorry but you need to find a guy that accepts your limits and who you are, if you have told him no and he keeps trying he is a selfish jerk and you need to find a decent guy.

it also sounds like you need to love your body and yourself and stop hating what you look like, this would give you more self esteem and confidence is sexy and beautiful. met may good looking ladies and the biggest turn off is their lack of confidence, also met some girls that shall we say were not so small and had great confidence and really sexy

[DaveJord]

I think you know what you should do, its your own insecurities thats keeping you in this relationship when you know its leading to a bad place. Its a train wreck yoy can't stop, and know its coming.

[Aerissa_Jade]

If he can't move past it, and you don't want to, you need to move past him.

[MrOracle]

Yep. It's that simple.

[Daniela1982]

Say you will agree if you can make it a foursome so you can have 2 guys. Any more than that and it's an orgy.

[venus1997]

Dont you dare let anyone make you do something you dont want to do. Set that boundary with him. If he crosses it or cheats kick his ass to the curb.

[Beautyforeverybody]

You should say no and don’t let him cross that boundary

[OlderAndWiser]

If he has made it clear that satisfying his own personal desires is more important than your concerns. . . why do you see a future with this guy?

[SnakeBoop]

You tell him no.
If he can't get over himself then get rid and find a dude who DOES care

[ChrisMaster69]

Leave him, dump him, move on.

tell him exactly why.

he is showing complete lack of respect.

[Ninani]

Exactly this ☝

[MCheetah]

Tell him you're not okay with being cucked by another woman (or guy, if your boyfriend is homosexual). If he doesn't understand, then dump his sorry ass. Or, just dump him now. He sounds like a piece of sh*t to be honest. And a loser who wants to get cucked by another girl in bed. There's having a fantasy, and then there's delusion. This guy sounds deluded.

[RobT312]

First. A threesome only works if all 3 are interested in doing it. Since you are not interested, end of story. It’s ok not to want one.

second, it sounds like your boyfriend puts his sexual fantasy above you and your relationship. This may not be the guy for you!

[Red_Arrow]

Time to move on. He is already hurting you and it will continue to get worse. Break it off before it becomes even harder to leave.

[Sirenboobzilla]

I can understand wanting to fulfill certain fantasies. I had my fantasies of threesomes and all. But I'd never push my partner to do something he's really not comfortable with.

I will say that, in many cases, it's not that YOU are not enough. It's just the sexual urge.

If this is too much for you, then you should end it. Because believe me, the urges, the constant asking, it's not gonna stop.

[laura123iu]

leave his ass, u dont need him

[Mango-man]

He sounds really immature to put his sexual fantasy above the relationship.

Let's look into the future... If you imagine your life with him in 20 years. Let's say with few kids and a nice small house to call home. And then out of sudden he would want something else that he would value above your relationship. Would you be alright with it then?

I know, this is too far fetched, but still. If he doesn't value your stands now, how could he in 20 years? Of he tries to force you and/or cheats on you, he breaks your trust and without trust there can be no healthy relationship.

[Bobsyoruncle]

Doesn’t sound like you two are a good match.

That kink isn’t going to go away, and you shouldn’t be coerced into sharing those experiences with him if it rubs you the wrong way.

[dustybiker]

Give yourself the respect he will refuse to. Find someone better.

[TommyMountainFigure]

Oh sweetheart. Summon up every bit of strength you have and drop him. He is no good for you.

Guys have fantasies as do women, but if you are with someone you care about then they merely stay as fantasies. He doesn't care about you. Go and find yourself someone who does!!!

[Aurora1010]

I think you should leave him and move on, he's not worth it

[The_Maphio]

Not allowing the threesome to happen, of course. That's a kink of his, not something that you should make happen even if you're not interested or even grossed out from. Maybe try something with a toy. Try seeing if he's ok with that, provided that something in your butt doesn't gross you out in general.