Sexual Relationships
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Why is normal for men to pursue women but not normal for women to pursue men?

Recent events got me thinking about this thing. There is this one guy from food delivery service that fancies me, and every time I order a meal online, he is the one to get it for me (even though there are plenty of other workers). He told me he can't stop thinking about me, got my number from the app and called me few times, even showed up at my door couple of times (he rang but I didn't answer). I told him clearly that I'm not interested and asked him nicely to stop, but then he called me again after few days being all sweet to ask if we could at least be friends. Anyway, I don't think he is a creep (but really close to the border lol) and when I told my friends about him, they are all just like "awww" and pretty much feeling sorry for the guy (myself included). And it's always the same reaction with other guys who pursue, we don't like rejecting, it feels sad. We don't think that men who pursue us are crazy, unless they really go overboard.
But imagine if a woman was doing that? She would automatically be labeled crazy and guy's friends would laugh about it, call her crazy and desperate stalker.
I know guys love when girls make first move, and on that note we are almost always respected and appreciated (at least from my side when I was doing first move) but if a girl gets a "no" for an answer and she still keeps trying... that's not normal. But if a guy keeps trying that's normal. Some would even call him pussy if he gave up on first "no".

So why is all that?
0 0

Superb Opinion

  • Because us men have a primal urge to spread our seeds and as such we are far more attracted towards women than women are attracted to us. That’s why people say “men are visual creatures” because we actually desire women, while women only want to be desired by men they think are “worthy”.

    The physical appearance of the female body excites us, we can’t get enough of it, while the physical appearance of the male body does nothing women. In fact many “straight” women consider the female body to be better looking than the male body. Most women care more about wealth and personality rather than how the male body looks.

    • Men doesn't have a desire for procreation.

    • Men doesn't have a desire for procreation. People have the desire for sex.

    • @Alphonsolawa Men do the impregnating, not the other way around. If women were the ones that did the impregnating then women would be the ones who usually pursue men.

Most Helpful Guy

  • The reason for this is rooted in evolution. During most of history, getting to mate at all was a challenge for men. There have been twice as many mothers as fathers throughout human history. So men would tend to be willing to have sex indiscriminately. Women paid a much higher price because of pregnancy and child rearing, and in all but the most stable civilizations failing to get the protection of a competent man had potentially deadly consequences. As a result, women were more picky about who they would take as partners. This is why men are expected to do the asking and women are in the position of choosing. When a society is stable and affluent, there is some deviation from this, but such periods are rare and transient, so the evolutionarily ingrained norm is still with us.

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 22

  • It’s normal where I come from.

    girls with ask guys and pursue if required

    equally they are the same with girls

  • I’ve been chased by girls and women many times. I always took it as a compliment.

    I didn’t always follow up on the advance, but I treated the person with decency and courtesy even in those cases where I wasn’t interested.

    How difficult is *that* to do?

    • There's a small difference between courtesy and leading her on.

    • The worst thing a person can offer after rejecting someone is friendship instead.

    • I agree. But I’ve seen people (not talking about you) who make the ‘pass’ into a ‘HARD pass’ unnecessarily. I’m a believer in some sort of dynamic which many people call ‘Karma’ that works in our lives, I guess my effort to be decent is ultimately a selfish act on my part.

  • It's normal these days, don't worry.

  • both these statements are untrue

    • You mean no one should pursue anyone? Or that women should pursue men? Personally, if I confess to/ask out a guy and he rejects me, I will not do ANY move again. He is aware of my intentions and if there's a slim chance that I got over him while he decided to make a next move, it will on him. Life is a like a game of chess.

  • Little thing called evolution

  • I Think it's fine for girls to ask guys out if they do it in a way that's like hey a friend canceled on tickets to a concert or move or fair so I thought I ask if you like to go after you have had a good conversation with the guy before you say would you like to be my plus 1 at these events

  • because the world is unfair and cruel, thats why

  • thats how women are

  • Personally I think that your view here is a bit skewed and one-sided. Life is all about taking risks and even if a "guy" gets a flat out 'NO' it doesn't mean that on their next encounter or two the answer could change.

    On a side note here, you are posting this to this platform of GaG shows me that there is possibly some sort of connection otherwise I don't think that you would be posting this question.

    Good luck with this

  • the stigma; that's all it is

  • Women that do, usually are penis collectors. She catches him , then after , dumps him and moves on to the next penis.

  • It’s just a cultural thing. I don’t think it’s relevant anymore tbh

  • It would be better if women pursued men more, but not for one night stands.

  • Because that’s how must people are raised but would love to see a woman approach me

    • I'm not talking about approaching, I'm talking about PURSUING. Pursuing means keep trying even when rejected.

    • No man or women should keep pursuing if they got rejected and anyone who does is a crazy idiot.

    • @Alphonsolawa Men do it all the time, in hope we change our minds. Ironically some women do. Some find persistence attractive.

    • Show All

  • It is a tradition that is a side effect of biology. But it isn't useful or necessary nowadays.

  • Society

  • political and societal conditionin

  • I see nothing wrong with it. I have had a girl reach out to me first before. So it does happen. But agree it’s not as common.

    • I'm talking about women who got rejected by 1 guy many times and they still keep trying. Pursuing...

  • Matter of opinion I guess. I never ask a woman out more than once. I figure if I ask a woman out and she says no that means no. Why would it mean anything different. Oh, she wants me to chase her? So she's an immature attention hound? Well now I really don't want to ask her out. Let some other guy deal with that problem. I'd rather date a woman that wants to be with me, knows it, and doesn't need convincing.

  • Because female culture is toxic about it. They totally could, nothing is stopping them but themselves. But they just don't want to do it, so they spout all manner of junk to discourage other women in order to feel justified in not doing it themselves.

  • Show More (3)

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