Men: when or how did you teach your sons about sex?

Or as a man how did you learn about sex growing up? Did you have men in your life who helped to educate you about what to do or not to do, techniques to help please women in bed, etc? Basically, was there anyone there who gave you knowledge or insight on doing the deed? If not, how did you become knowledgable?

I don't have any kids yet but I do think it's highly important that a parent, especially a father, educates his boys about sex. My only issue is that I really cringe at the idea of telling them how to eat pussy or finger a chick, somehow there's gotta be a way around that lol. It would be really weird to have those conversations lol.
Men: when or how did you teach your sons about sex?
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Superb Opinion

  • I recently had a very blunt discussion with my friend’s kids (12m and 13f). Their mom was present for the convo. She asked me to do it bc I was more comfortable and confident doing it. Talked about basic sex and anatomy (using correct terminology, but also discussed some of the slang words, that they’ll hear), oral sex, and anal sex. We didn’t go into EXCESSIVE detail about them, but what talked about what they are and how they work. Showed them images (drawings, non sexual - but accurate and detailed) of the vulva and penis.
    The convo went well (lasted about 20 mins) and the kids took everything in stride.
    Some people might disagree with this approach and that’s fine. I don’t care if people agree. Everyone has an opinion.

    • That was kind of you to do that. Sex should not be a secret. That causes teen pregnancy.

    • Regarding the apprehension about eating pussy, fingering… I told them about “eating pussy”; I even used that expression but made it clear that that is a crude slang - but one that they’ll likely hear from their friends. Then I told them what it really is and how it works. We forgot to tell them about fingering and handjobs (not sure how I forgot, but I did 😆). I would have been fine doing so, even if it was an information overload. I’d almost rather they be over -educated than uneducated. If it saves them from underage or premarital pregnancy etc then damn right I’ll talk to them about it. I was confident having the convo because it’s just how life and sex works. Society has created a nonsensical stigma regarding sex (in all its forms) but I don’t have to abide by the stigma or let it control me.

    • @loves2learn Indeed 👍

    • Show All

Most Helpful Guy

  • I learned by my parents showing me how they do it.

    I'm kidding. No, my parents didn't teach me anything and left it up to the school's sex Ed to give us the basics. The finer details of actual sex and doing it well were a self learning kind of thing.

    • Lol. Well, better sex Ed than porn.

Most Helpful Girls

  • I really don't think a parent needs to go into details about how to mess around. They should be saying, have trust in each other and slowly try experimenting and making sure its okay, ask her what she likes. To make sure she is comfortable, that it doesn't hurt and she likes it.

    What fathers should teach is how to use a freaking condom properly.

  • My husband’s mom actually talked to him and scared him into always using condoms. Took him a year of me being on birth control to go without.
    .
    I’m following as I have 2 young sons.

    • If my mother tried to have a talk to me it would have scarred me for life.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Because I was a naive kid, I'd take the stuff I heard at school and repeat it at home. Once, I think I asked about a dildo and my father explained it's function in a woman's sex life, but noting that she'd often prefer a man using his mouth, fingers, or penis. It stuck with me, (clearly) and I think of it now with a little dread as I imagine my own naive son and daughter asking these questions. But, my dad's responses were kind and factual, with no implication that I should have been ashamed for asking. I'm grateful for the lecture even though it made me uncomfortable at the time. And I feel more confident that I'll be able to address those questions when then come up with my kids.

  • Over here guys are just sent to stay with their cousin for a few days

    • Weird.

    • Really?

    • their "cousin" the escort?

  • I don’t have a son, I have a daughter, however it would have been pretty similar to the warts and all talk she had.

    the big one that all parents but especially fathers need to pass on, is about consent and respect.

    it’s pointless telling a kid about safe sex, how to make a girl feel great, if they do not understand Consent or Respect.

    I believe this is where important lessons are learned that have a large impact on society.

    Imagine a generation of guys that actually understood consent, respect, were not homophobic like their fathers, or religious bigots, we can but dream.

    The son is going to likely get more sex though if they understand Consent and Respect.

  • While my my son is only 3, we've already taught him about consent and he knows the proper names for male and female body parts. Sexual education is not something that can be boiled down to a talk and it should be an ongoing process.

    • AMEN! Same! We also answer questions honestly as they come. Our older son had more questions earlier than our younger son. All kids are different.

    • @loves2learn Thank you!

  • This might sound unpopular, but I think there is no need for such a talk. Maybe explain something to the kid when they are young and ask questions as a child, but in teen years and later I don't think this is necessary.
    And "how to eat pussy or finger a chick" it's too much into details. No son or daughter wants to hear about these details from their parent.

    • True

  • That picture is really funny. I can just imagine the conversation.
    "Now listen here son! Ima bout to tell ya bout tha birds and tha beeeez!"
    "Aw daaaad!"

    • Ahaha!!!🤣🤣🤣

  • I had no education from my father thank god, had sex ed at school for all thr good that did. I learnt with friends and just messing about with people, didn't really have much porn back in my day to take queues from, it was pretty much all self-taught.

  • Mom raised me alone and taught me everything I wanted to know sense birth

  • Parents never told me, school wasn’t much help so experienced it by trial and error lol

  • I did what my father did, I just let them learn about it on the streets.

  • They discovered internet pornography and educated themselves.
    I knew that process was in train the day that my eldest son emerged from his room and said: “I know what girls are for.”

  • Main part from school, parents never really explained anything so I've had to figure it out on my own. My ex seemed to be happy but I know I still have a lot to learn atm

  • Well before you start jumping into those kind of conversations make sure that there is a clear understanding of sexual anatomy first and foremost. Second and most importantly make sure they understand what consent and respect for is and what it looks like, and teach them how to communicate.

    When it comes to technique specifically, everyone is different and enjoys touch in different ways. That is something better learned with the person you are engaging in sexual activity with.

  • My dad has never taught me about sex, and I wish he had sooner 😕

    • Why? I'm asking because I have a son your age.

    • @zanegoicovich do you have any questions we can help answer?

    • I’m not sure why he hasn’t taught me anything, it’s just been my mom and sex education at school. I haven’t even had sex before and I know that’s ex education doesn’t teach you near enough about our bodies and sec and everything. I do have so many questions like I know to have safe sex you need to wear a condom. I have so many more though like I think woman have 3 different holes I heard, this might sound were but how do you know you’ve gotten in the right one. Or I have heard that woman say to stop when they actually want more. How do you do sex so it’s not painful for the woman, do you need lube all the time even with condoms with lube or do you just need the lives condom. Should I get a Sti test after I first have safe sex? How should you dispose properly of a condom? What’s the best way to please get and make sure she’s having fun too? What changes to your body after sex or does anything? Are you supposed to go rough or really gentle with sex. What should you do if her Hyme breaks? How should you put on a condom correctly I see a lot of different things on how to do that. What all should I know about sex so I don’t screw up? I’m sorry I just have so many questions.

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  • My dad and I had the talk before I learned about it in health during my first year of homeschooling. My mom was wondering how I knew about this already and was suspicious. But when I told her that my dad and I had “the talk”, she understood.

  • Interesting question. I never had a father so I had to learn about sex from personal experiences/ trial and error. If I had a son I wouldn't spend we much time teaching him about techniques as I would about explaining to him about the importance of focusing on yourself and creating value in yourself so that you can have your pick of woman vs spending your time chasing them w/ fairy tale lines and deeds. I would also explain to him that as a young man in his teenage years his value is actually a lot lower than it will be as he enters his 30's 40's etc and that if he focuses on himself now, there will always be a crook of young women available to him. However if he gets distracted and focuses on one woman to early he could ruin his life forever.

    • So true! Excellent answer!

  • I sit him down and told him it was time we had "the talk". I could think of absolutely nothing to say that wasn't going to embarrass him or myself. So in my infinite wisdom I came up with..."son the clitoris is as sensitive as an eyeball". Don't ever forget that.

    • LOL!!!

    • 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 nailed it! 👊🏻

  • I could never have these conversations with my parents when I was a kid or teen.


    Talking about sex with friends felt most natural.

  • I would tell them that girls require tenderness and determination at the same time and sometimes a lot of effort so that they can enjoy as much as we do.

  • My father never did, I learnt it on my own. Kinda wish he did so I wouldn’t have gotten addicted to porn but yea

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