If a man (40s) sleeps with a woman on the first date despite her not planning on it, can he still like her for long term potential?

Or does that ruin the chemistry somewhat…
0 1

Superb Opinion

  • I need more context, as there's too many variables to properly answer this question, but yes, it's possible. But I would also be wary. There's a lot of f***boys out there. Age is fairly irrelevant in this case.

    But ultimately, if you're looking for a long-term relationship with someone, get to know him first and don't give it away so quickly. Make him earn it and make him prove he's worthy of it, and make sure he has all the proper traits as a person to be in, and sustain a long-term relationship.

    But generally, a guy who is genuinely interested in a long-term relationship will take the time to get to know her before making a move for sex, because he'll want to make sure she's right for him too. Because, long-term relationships aren't just about sex. A real relationship is much deeper and more complex than that, and you have to assure the person you are dating is able to fulfill all those needs and requirements before having sex with him/her. Or else you could wind up being a one-night stand for some horny guy who doesn't care. Too many guys out there like that.

    Anyway, in the most general terms, that's the best advice I can give.

    • He does treat me well and goes out of his way to impress my parents etc. I’m just not sure how compatible we really are long term yet, it’s still early days for me.

    • Well, that's good. Just take your time and you'll know if he's the right one soon enough. Just stay true to what you want and need in a relationship, and if he can be those things, good. If not, then there's always "other fish in the sea" as they say. But just stick to what you want in a partner and from a relationship, and you'll be just fine. 👍 Cheers and take care.

    • Thank you. That’s the plan.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Context is huge on this one.

    A lot depends on how long they have known each other, how much flirting and teasing has went on.

    history of both people

    Assuming they are both 40, they may have known each other a year before first date, have teased n flirted a lot before first date.

    if both had long term relationships with sex, then a drought and first date was for both a first opportunity.. then yes as adults who are experienced in life, sex after first date is not a problem. Both have needs and desires and don’t need to play games.

    if however none of the above applies, then sex on first date is not expected and both would see it more of a casual hookup.

    in saying that I have dated someone I pulled on a Friday night.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Sounds like you and him had some really great chemistry. That’s awesome. Yes. There is definitely dating potential there.
    .
    My husband and I had oral sex the day we met 20 years ago.

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 11
  • I kind of look at it like this a woman that does that is a woman that knows what she wants cuz she's not afraid to go after it she's making her only choice where a lot of women would say yo I've heard that it's the wrong thing to do I don't look at it woman any different if she did it on the first date in the second day the third date the 25th date kind of I don't judge like I said I actually respect and like the girl even more when she does it on the first date and the next thing is is I wouldn't even be going on a date with her if I didn't thinks it was going to turn into something I don't just go date somebody just to date them I somewhat know them in a lot of different ways before I even date them or go out with them

  • Just curious why that would necessarily ‘ruin the chemistry’?

    I can see trouble in paradise if she gave him a double-plus bad dose of the Clap, or showed up at his door later with a babe in arms and a shyster in tow...

    They simply did what God built them to do. If it was polite, pleasurable and permissions were procured what would the beef be?

    Insufficiently fairy-tale-ish?

    Folks, please remember...

    It’s.
    Just.
    Sex.

    • I wouldn’t go with fairytale-ish, but more slut shaming.

  • When a woman understands the depth, power, responsibility, and spiritual significance of sex, this will not happen. Therefore, if it does happen, it is rarely going to be seen as a positive unless the guy is looking for friends with benefits. But friends with benefits is the other side of the coin that also shows one does not understand the significance too.

    You say you question a guys morals that pursues sex on the first night. But you should perhaps.. also question a guy that pursued a long term relationship after sex on the first night.

    Society has cleverly programmed many of us to trivialize that which is significant, and to emphasize that which is insignificant.

  • For me if she gives it up that easily I'm not going to see any long term potential.

  • I don't see why not.

  • sure. but the chances of that aren't any higher than if he had not slept with you. and if youthink about those chances realisticly, they're not high. cause normally one dates many people before finding one they wanna keep.

  • Let me tell you story just don't ever put out on the first date let's just put it that way because men look at it is you're too too easy and that you would do that for anybody so it doesn't make them feel very special so just hold off for a few dates next time

  • it's possible

  • Slept with her befire it even got dark. Been married a long time.

  • Not 40 yet, but would like to think I could.

    • Like to think. So you mean you probably couldn’t.

    • I probably could.

  • No he will think u are his fuckbuddy

    • Because? He’s not given that impression at all though, more then opposite...

    • Because u are easy guys are always nice at first

    • It didn’t happen like that

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