Anyone want to help me with my sex life, or lack of sex life should I say. I am feeling panicked about it every day?

Question

i am 29. barely had sex at all in my life. (3 sex partners in the past decade, no boyfriends/relationship, but the longest lasted 3 months) i can’t have one night stands or casual affairs. it feels feel traumatic like being raped. i was raped once. i had a panic attack afterwards. i also had a panic attack after consensually having sex (different guy) but him running out the door after. i begged him to not go. bad memories. however the week after, i hate how my body feels. it feels different in a bad way physically and energetically especially my belly and heart areas. also no guy has ever made me climax. i do really crave being cuddled and i just crave sex so bad but with the man caring for me after and wanting to date me and be monogamous and start a life together. i’ve always masturbated my whole life but in the past year i cry often before or after i do and feel empty and hopeless. sometimes i imagine how empowering it would feel to just love having sex with myself and that being enough. but i guess i can’t make myself feel that way.

Frank_theTank999 · Accepted Answer

Dating apps aren’t particularly great for self esteem, especially the free versions that most people use. I think maybe figure out a few things you really like to do, or are passionate about and find activities with groups of people of similar interest. I feel like it’s in places like that where we aren’t overthinking and just being natural that chemistry with that right person can form.

Some people are just naturally introverted and it is 100 times harder for folks like us to meet someone we are truly compatible with. It’s the activities that draw people together, make us work and play together that often serves as a foundation of a good relationship.

Swiping hundreds or thousands of guys on dating apps, most of whom are on there to take advantage of women, is just toxic.

SitBackRelax · Accepted Answer

I wish there was a sad 😢 response I could give to your question. I’d like to help with some advice but it might require more background so I can see the bigger picture. I truly feel sad for you and would at least say don’t give up hope. You are still young. It isn’t over for you. It’s a matter of having someone of integrity and selflessness in your life who will freely love you without expecting anything in return. Those people exist but are more difficult to find. But it’s worth it. I’m happy to talk if you need someone to talk with. I wish you the very best, truly.

loves2learn · Accepted Answer

Well if you’ve been swiping for over a year chances are you may be setting your standards too high. Perhaps you have subconsciously set them high as a self protection measure. Remember you are deserving of love and happiness.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

You are still young you have time to meet a guy who will appreciate you for who you are, but if feel your still suffering from a traumatic experience you want consider to seek counseling for that.

AustinMan · Answer

Go find a guy you like that'll fuck you frequently and forcefully. This assumes that you like sexually dominant women.

Cloud-9 · Answer

Listen!

You need a boyfriend, some one who cares about your feelings. Girls during sex are 80% feelings and emotions and only 20% physical stuff.

I am trully sorry what happened to you, time will heal all wounds.
For now when you are ready, find yourself the right person 😊

Seangreen · Answer

Okay I'm going to be honest 100% you have a vagina, there's probably 10 guys you know that would hit it right now. I'm not saying just go to sleep with anybody but if you want to get laid by you being a woman your odds are probably like 95%

max337 · Answer

I am really sorry for what you have been through ig i am missing cuddling too i am still virgin but i always feel that i need someone to cuddle with when i am trying to sleep so i can really feel you

2021biguy · Answer

I'll be your friend if you need one, try not to worry.

jerdanro · Answer

I want the same. Someone to love and to love me. Feelings, affection, and sex.

MJtheCoach · Answer

Are you really really fat or really really really skinny?

AnthonyJ01 · Answer

Sex is alright. I personally LOVE giving oral over anything else. Snuggling/cuddling is almost a requirement, but I have been told that I give off a lot of body heat so I am very warm bodied.