Do you believe artificial lesbian/bi is a real thing? My first real sexual experience, My third confession?

[Aerissa_Jade]

I suffered from Haphephobia but only from men for awhile, due to my trauma.

I had no attraction to women, I don't feel that I was born this way, I really had liked guys a lot and the thought of lesbian stuff was kind of gross to me.

Anyhow at college, two of my roommates were lesbians.

I was getting along pretty good with my roommates. We were becoming really good friends and really tight.

I couldn't really go out and do social stuff with them, fear of guys touching me and all in small crowded spaces. When I went out, had to be in large indoor or outdoor area's, to be safe.

One day I was very sad, and I really wanted a hug from someone I trusted. I NEEDED a hug. It had been a really bad day and I was crying, some jerk ass guys kept trying to touch me, thinking it was funny.

One of the lesbians happened to stand up and give me a big hug when I told her what happened. I did not want to let her go, it felt nice to have some human contact again.

I really needed the human touch, in many ways. Then I sat down on the couch next to her and we cuddled. I stayed this way until I got my composure and stopped crying.

Later on (not same day) both her and her girlfriend jokingly asked if I would interested in joining them sometime.

I said "sure" and had that sickening feeling in my stomach but decided to go through with it.

This was my first consensual sexual experience that involved physical contact, it was wonderful even though it did feel unnatural but I didn't care. As they could touch me and it was not a problem, I wanted to be touched again. It did start to feel natural over time. I wanted to touch them as well.

Eventually as I was able to heal and overcome the Haphephobia, men became my focus again.

Even if artificial isn't a real thing. I'm okay if I am bi, but this really helped me to move on. It made me think though, if this trauma had never happened to me, I may have never done anything like this.

Thus artificial seems appropriate.

[Anonymous]

I had to Google that big word. I don't think your fear of men was irrational, considering what happened to you.

I don't know if I would consider "bi", especially if all you did was touch. I think you were just desperate to experience the feeling of true love, and obviously couldn't get it from men. I heard straight people of both genders in prison turn gay out of desperation. Whether or not this just an urban legend.

When I was in my early teens, me and my guy friend were watching porn, and he squeezed my erect dick through my shorts to feel how big it was. And wanted me to whip it out. I think he was bi. But I don't consider it a sexual experience, because it didn't do anything for me and I viewed it more as a joke. And my friends didn't even believe me when I told them.

Nowadays, sometimes this thought pops into my head like, "You should make out with this guy." And I've had gay thoughts about my friends, and often get gay dreams. But I've never watched gay porn, though I've accidentally clicked some videos before. And sometimes I'll start chatting up men on sex sites and start getting urges, but I stop myself because I know they're wrong and shouldn't act on them for various reasons. But my horniness works like alcohol, when I'm horny EVERYTHING is attractive, and I'm less phased by certain things. And I tend to make rash and irrational decisions. I also think some of it has to do with my OCD.

I think these feelings come more out of desperation to feel what it's like to be sensual with one. But I know not to do it for various reason. But I sometimes get urges to touch/lunge at girls too.

But I don't think I'm bi, because in general gay men gross me out, and I could never see myself actually having sex or a relationship with a man. I prefer female company. I don't even like talking to men as much, especially online, even though I used to be really shy with women.

I know if I once again met a girl who I felt a strong emotional connection with, these thoughts/feelings would go away.

[ChrisMaster69]

From reading your other MyTake, what you needed was what you described above.

It was not really the sexual aspect but rather the emotional aspect.

The ability to touch, to feel and to ‘trust’ without fear or loathing.

It was I guess the start of the long journey you are still travelling on.

I would avoid labelling yourself, especially when you take in both MyTakes.

If a guy had been through the same, I would most likely say exactly the same thing and not instantly label them.

Learning to reset before what happened is the really hard bit, your brain will naturally avoid certain situations, it’s sort of relearning the value of being close to others, how it feels to be touched without jumping out of your skin or having a panic attack when others are too close and natural exits are blocked by someone standing there.

[ChrisMaster69]

@aerissa_jade thank you for MHG, most appreciated

[Gwenhwyfar]

I believe you had a wonderful time with them and you shouldn’t label yourself

[Gwenhwyfar]

Thanks 😊

[TheorionMage]

Generally... the biggest draw for Lesbians (I'm told BY Lesbians & Bi's) is the absolute assurance of birth control and that in general, women are more overtly expressive with their emotions, (which can be a two-edged sword) WHEN its 'good' "she KNOWS ME" but when there's emotional conflict, it can be extremely psychologically hurtful. I'm told the level of romantic infatuation and jealous possessiveness can also be more pronounced especially in bi-sexual partners. "WHOM do you like better / love more? "

I personally, have been involved in three ways with a bi-sexual female and a straight female and inevitably it seems to turn out to be "two on one" with at different times having been the Dom or the Sub.
In my personal experience, it was more experimental 'play' rather than profound romance~

[MCheetah]

I don't believe "bi" is a real thing. It's just gay and that's it. It's even more obvious if it's a male. You don't suck a dick a as dude and then claim to go back to women. That's silly. Even self-respecting men don't want to get cucked by a lesbian and have their supposedly-straight partner stolen by one, either.

So if someone is attracted to the same gender, and has romantically touched them or is attracted to them, then they're just gay. That's literally what gay is: romantically or sexually attracted to the same gender. I couldn't care less of all the little pet names they give to "variations" of it, like bi or pan. It's all just homosexuality. I mean, you even admitted you don't want men to touch you and that you felt good with your lesbian experience.

And I mean, whatever. People can be gay. But as one person once said: "you're no longer on our side, anymore. You're on the gay side now. The straight side is closed off. Don't try to come back over here."

I say, just fully come out the closet and accept that you're a lesbian. Because it sounds like you are. Unless you're lying and made this story up. I'm sure the lesbians need more numbers on their side, too. Just open yourself up and be happy.

[RobT312]

Sounds like a nice experience. 👍 I don’t think it needs labels or a critical analysis of your sexuality. Women were there for you and you liked it. I think that’s great. I had a guy friend that needed attention from my girlfriend and I which led me to a guy experience. No regrets and I think more people than you think have experiences with the same sex.

[ohshee]

I think you said it right there it was a sexual experience I tried to get that same sexual experienced myself the girls just don't believe that I'm a lesbian what do I have to do to prove it in my gosh I like girls so I should be able to call myself a lesbian right I think it's beautiful what you what happened I'm actually kind of glad that you didn't just because you can't really call yourself artificial anyting you can't really put a label on it and say you are lesbian or bi I think it is just experience that is actually pretty cool

[spartan55]

We used to call them thespian lesbians at the club.

[TadCurious]

Aerissa I don't know about the designation of artificial lesbianism/bisexuality. I've never heard of that. But anyway, the way you described your consensual sexual experience with your lesbian roommates leads me to think you're bisexual. You described it as wonderful and that you wanted to touch them (I'm assuming sexually) as well. And that it felt more natural as the encounter progressed.
The main thing in my opinion is that you've been able to move past your phobia of being touched by guys.

[Jamie05rhs]

It sounds to me like it was wonderful because it was human intimacy with physical touch. It wasn't necessarily the lesbian part of it.

[t-8900]

Just in my PERSONAL experience with people I personally know and there are a LOT of them. Those that deviated from the straight path tended to be victims of sex crimes as children. This was the case with some relatives, friends, gaggers I've spoken to, celebs like Milo Yiannopoulos, just to name a few. and it seems in my humble opinion to be the case more with women who were girls that were successfully penetrated by a rapist turning them off a great deal to men or having trust issues with them and thus eventually turning to women because they get them more. Not going to speak for the wider LGBT+ community. Simply saying it's an observation I made from my interactions with them.

[exitseven]

It is nice that you had people who cared for you and got you through a difficult time in your life. Why do you need to put a label on this?

[TonyMetal___86]

A female is born to love only a man, here we are talking about normal women, what happened with you made you walk on the wrong path, you needed something so bad from a man but sadly they were all jerks and what you have wanted from a man, you received it from a woman, even though it ain't like a man's touch at all but still better from nothing...

I hope that someday you will find a real man so that you be able to experience real love, real emotions and real sex again because your rights about being grossed, that's a natural feeling when it comes to same sex contact!

You need a real man in your life just like a man needs a real woman in his life, only a man and a woman can complete each other from all aspects!

[Wise4myage]

You mean like lipstick lesbians?

[TheBigGuy9]

Anyone can rationalize anything as being normal if they always want to feel good. You were in a time of need hence your roommate.
Every guy I’ve ever met that wanted something, it was always sexual. Very few want a relationship and even such in a relationship one of them always takes the dominant role. It’s never 50/50.

[alance99]

It made you happy thats all it matters doesn't matter if you will do it again or not 🙂

[nawtee_me]

sometime we have to go through thing to get where we need to be. For you at that time you needed healing and that was a part of the healing process...

[andy530]

I think sexuality is on a spectrum and you sound like you lie somewhere on there maybe closer to bi than you’ve previously considered

[2021biguy]

If it started to feel natural, don't worry, it's ok to be bi.

[Jhonrembo]

I think you just needed warmth and love and attention from people you know and trust. I do not think you really have an attraction to women too just they were there for you and you flowed with it. According to all your descriptions and previous stories you like to constantly try new things and it was just one of the things you tried. Even when you feel alone you will always think that God is with you and loves you in any case and in any situation.

[Xtendable]

Wow, thankyou for being open and sharing. It sounds like there was some healing in the process

[Yellovv]

Yeah some of the girls like each other...

[Zlantur2]

I think you are bisexual otherwise you just enjoyed them for a moment cause you felt trust with them

[Erron_Black]

i dont believe