Sexual Relationships
+1 y

I really want to start having sex in college but I’m just not a very social guy? How can I improve my chances? Are there safe ways I can ask for sex?

My sex drive is through the roof right now because I’m sleeping a lot better lately and managing my time better.

I feel much less irritated and stressed out by people than I did before.

But at the same time though, I am still introverted. I have always preferred spending most of my time alone which obviously is very self limiting in terms of my likelihood of getting sex.

But of all the guys I know that have ever gotten sex before they’ve either been in a relationship or are very social or otherwise tall and athletic.

As much as some people believe, it isn’t ever as simple as just looking decent and being a good person as my mom and dad always taught me.

I’m both of those things and it hasn’t gotten me anywhere.

And I can’t try and force myself into changing. I can’t make myself like other things that I have no interest in, just so I can hopefully become more desirable. Those said things being socialization and sports

It’s called being fake, it won’t ever work, and women can smell the desperation from a mile away. I’ve tried it before and all it did was make me really insecure about myself.

I feel most comfortable just being myself instead of trying to pretend to be somebody that I am not.

Certain things will never interest me and I can’t make myself like something just to improve my chances of sex.

So what I need are more realistic solutions, if there are any.

If I have to completely change myself as a person, it is just not realistic. But if there’s smaller things I can do that go a long way, I am all ears.

Another huge problem is also just the idea of asking in general.

As an autistic man who doesn’t understand social etiquette and behaviors, it just isn’t a question I feel comfortable asking.

Not because I’m afraid of rejection, but because I’m afraid of retribution

Girls can always report me to campus police for harrassment if just my mere asking a question were to make them uncomfortable. Or they could tarnish my reputation with everybody.
0 1

Superb Opinion

  • I can help you. Being a former autistic college student who was a virgin until 27.5, I can tell you what I did (I had to learn myself) to become confident to eventually even ask a girl out.
    You have friends or a roommate, or someone you have some sort of social interactions with. It would be best if you were in a club or fraternity. It would also be best if you've adopted the view of I will have fun regardless of how people view me. The point is you need other people in order to make this work. You need to be with them and socialize with them. It might help if they know your autistic, or if they're insanely interested in your fixations. Many of my friends in college knew I was not normal and knew I was autistic. Yet they helped me, because they could see I was making an honest effort to be social and interact with neurotypicals. The more people (even if they're all guys) you interact with, the more confident you'll get.
    Then comes the next step, frat parties or parties in general. Attend them, have fun, dance, drink. I didn't actually drink, but I went to parties a lot. I had fun, I danced, I had fun because the people that do care aren't there and those that are there are usually drunk so if you're being weird they assume you were hammered, if they remember you. Also you can craft your image in college, I was crafted as the weird kid who is freakishly good at class even if he doesn't attend. So go to parties and social events, so people notice you. They'll be more comfortable around you and might want to socialize with you. It's easier if others approach you.
    If you are able to join a frat that can help you get a girl. 9/10 they hook you up. My roommate got 3 girls after he joined a frat, and he met none of them before the day they hooked up. Frats have a lot of connections and outside your duties, it's just a social club. I didn't join because of being sick with H1N1 for half of the first trimester as a freshman and leaving before rush in the second year of college.

    • Want more help, let me know and I'll do it in private.

Most Helpful Guy

  • It was a long time ago but when I was in college you had to be cool about having sex. You had to get to know a girl first and she had to be comfortable with you. These things were not rushed. Maybe there were a few girls who would fuck you on the first date but they were usually real skanks.
    Also, do not date a girl who was a virgin and wanted to save herself for marriage.

    • Thanks for the MHO

Most Helpful Girls

  • Being an introvert or having social anxiety is tough. The best tip is just try to make friends, if have trouble doing that then it will be even harder.

    If you can make a friend or two, be careful not to invest everything into them. The rejection, if it happens will devastate you. If you have guy friends, just try to make a friend with a girl in a similar way.

    Friends are more open to hanging out, and spending time together. Eventually you might even turn romantic and kiss, which can lead to sex.

    You have to start somewhere, there is no magic wand to get it started.

    I wish you the best of luck.

  • You want to start connecting and building a relationship. You don't have to be super social if you find a likeminded girl. Perhaps you start with studying together.

    Then, maybe suggest some casual things. Study at coffee shop. Go have lunch. I advise against straight out asking for sex when there is no connection.

    • If neither of us are social than doesn’t that just make the situation even more difficult?

    • Yes, it does. That is why my suggestion of studying together might help. Even if you don't have the exact same class, you can still get together and do classwork. That activity requires little interaction. You can kind of ease into some conversation here or there. You know, build on little steps. Just an idea.

    • It might work but I dont have the confidence to carry out something I’ve never tried

    • Show All

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 5

  • I'm afraid a certain amount of confidence is required to make a connection with a girl, they don't respond well to guys who lack confidence. The only thibg i could suggest is see if there are any shy girls in some of your classes, and sit bear or bext to them. See if you can strike up a conversation, even if its just saying hello initially. Then as @prettypriya said try and study with them and maybe something will blossom.

    • @donkeydan I agree, not the easiest to achieve when introverted. I was thinking the same as you. Maybe start simple by studying in library. That is good icebreaker and not tons of conversation needed. Good to ease into. 👍

    • Oh dear, so sorry for some of the terrible typos, im walking at the moment.

  • Gonna have to learn to be social and be able to interact with women that or pay for a hooker no other real choice mater if u want to be able to get with women u will need to learn to interact with them

    • I’m just introverted by nature though? I don’t think that’s something I can change

    • U can't change it but u will need to learn to be comftble in some social I traction otherwise where will u find a women mate

  • Just start saying hello.

    • I don’t really cross paths with anybody that often though. I’m basically just a hermit that goes to classes, studies in the library, and chills in my room

    • Say hello to your classmates.

    • You can’t meet anyone in your room.

  • Walk up to a girl at a party and drop your dick in her drink.

  • You can try texting multiple girls at a time, flirt with them , try your luck

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