Sexual Relationships
+1 y

Was the sex bad for him?

My boyfriend and I had sex at like 5:40 one night. I thought it was pretty good sex and he came inside me. But I had to leave the house at 6:00 to do stuff with family and I was gone for about 4 hours. I came home at like 10:30. When I came home, a wet paper towel that had cum on it was on the couch. It was still sort of damp. I was really upset that he would masturbate that soon after we had sex. I guess I didn't satisfy him that night since he had to masturbate after sex while I was out? If it was still damp, does that mean he didn't jerk off immediately after I left? I'm feeling really low lately, because my boyfriend is masturbating now more than ever and we have sex everyday at least once or twice. I feel like my pussy is horrible and unsatisfying..
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Superb Opinion

  • Testosterone is kind of like water: it works in some really weird and counterintuitive ways. Yes, a spike of it will (obviously I'm oversimplifying here, but work with me) make you feel horny, and having sex will lower it, but only temporarily- over the course of a day, having sex will make it go UP, since it builds (and builds off of) self-repeating cycles.

    Now, you say that you had to rush off, and are worried you left him feeling unsatisfied. Maybe you did, but it's more likely he just got aroused again, and since you weren't there, took care of things himself. Did you want him to wait for you? If so, did you tell him? While it IS possible to leave someone so sexually exhausted that they're satiated for a long time, that's usually the result of a prolonged, extremely intense sexual session; a little quick play is more likely to whet the appetite than to sate it, especially if he's around your age. It's almost certain that he's not doing this to hurt your feelings, and doesn't see his masturbation the same way you do. Talk with him (not *to* him, mind, but *with* him) about it. It's possible (maybe even likely) that he thinks your sex drive is lower than his, and he doesn't want to be constantly bothering you about it. This is a human problem with a human solution; you can work it out together, if you're both open-minded and willing.

    Sometimes masturbation isn't about sex. It's about relaxation, or self-care, or just balancing out neurochemicals so you can accomplish an unrelated task without being hopelessly distracted. Sometimes it's about getting a release without worrying about another person's pleasure; sometimes it's about more than one of the above. I mention this because the obvious solution to your concerns is to tell him "If you sex drive is higher than mine, then let some of our encounters just be me taking care of you". This is far from a bad idea (in either direction), but there are times when you have a psychological need to be alone; he wouldn't stop entirely.

    The only major problem I see here is why he's leaving the paper towel in question ON THE COUCH. That's definitely something to be tossed out; staining is a real possibility.

    • Yeah but he masturbated literally an hour or two AFTER sex. I didn't take care of him for the course of a day. He literally masturbated after sex when I left the house. I really feel like my pussy is bad and unsatisfying.

    • I think you misunderstood me; that's exactly what I meant. His anatomical correctness is not a failing on your part.

    • What did you mean? I'm sorry, you're confusing me..

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Most Helpful Guy

  • jacking off is not about not being satisfied lol we sometimes jack off for a sleeping pill lol or just because it’s been a long time since we been alone, or even because we wanted to see a new pussy but it takes nothing away from your body pussy and attractiveness. it’s a problem when he chooses porn over your pussy but as long as he desires it don’t worry cumin is different for us men lol

    • What if he masturbates an hour or two after cumming inside me? Does that mean he didn't have a good orgasm with me?

    • This happens almost daily after sex. I feel like i am unable to please him..

    • I offered him a second round of sex and he turned me down. Then I caught him masturbating an hour later.. I really don't think he likes sex with me.. what do I do? I asked him what I could do to make sex better and he said nothing and got mad and wouldn't say anything else..

Most Helpful Girl

  • Try your best to not take it personal ♡
    There's nothing wrong with you, he probably has a porn addiction so really the problem is within him... (which is really common sadly)
    Personally I'll never date a guy that watches porn ever again, messes with my head too much. Maybe try and talk to him about it, let him know how it's been making you feel?

    But just pleaseee remember no matter what happens you aren't the issue.
    If you're feeling insecure read into porn addiction, it's never that they aren't satisfied with you ♡

    • A lot of people have said porn addiction, but his masturbatimg habits have gotten wayyy more frequent. We've been in a 5 year relationship. If he developed a porn addiction while being with me and having sex everyday, then I must be fucking something up sexually...

    • Did your boyfriend ever masturbate after sex with you?

    • Nooo I promise it's not you! If he's a porn watcher I'm assuming he's been watching it for a long time, and the addiction gets worse with time if they keep watching I really don't think it's that he isn't satisfied with you, especially if you guys are still having sex... but if you're worried about that just be upfront and ask him if that's what it is. Also ~ I don't know if you know what type of porn he watches, but maybe it could be a kink/fetish thing that he's only comfortable with watching?

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 2

  • Are you kidding

    • What do u mean

    • I don't know why he's masturbating more, but I'm certain it has nothing to do with your pussy not pleasing him. Maybe he wanted another round while you had to go so he was jerking thinking of you? Did you consider that?

    • No he watches porn. This has been happening since a few weeks after I moved in with him. I constantly walk in on him jerking off to. porn either before sex or after sex. He masturbates while I'm at work. He masturbates while I'm in the shower. While I'm sleeping. I can't help but feel like he's not really liking my vagina because it's bad or something.. he has always masturbated but it's worse now. If he's also watching porn while doing it, I doubt he's thinking of little old me. :(

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  • How is your kitty?

    • What do u mean?

    • I mean your pussy?

    • I don't know. He says it's good but with the frequency that he masturbates, i don't think I believe him.

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