Is it really true that when a guy really loves a girl & has feelings for her, sex won't be the first thing on his mind?

[nocturnalbaby]

this very popular phrase sounds logical & true, & perhaps my bad experiences with guys is causing me to think it's not true, but what do you guys think?

I was just asking because I'm a bit confused. Don't basically all guys eventually want to have sex with a girl they have feelings for? because usually from what I've noticed, guys get feelings for girls they're attracted to at least, and obviously guys will always think about having sex with a girl they're attracted to.

So does the phrase suggest that guys are able to be happy in a relationship with a girl when they love her, even when there's no sex? or does it just mean that they do want sex with the girl they love, but are able to wait for the sex & be happy without wanting to rush to it?

out of the guys I've spoken to & been involved with, I've been able to tell which ones cared about me & actually had feelings for me, & I've been able to tell which ones only wanted sex. out of the ones that seemed to care about me, I noticed that they were all sweet to me & enjoyed having normal conversations with me, BUT they would always end up wanting sex with me or they wanted some sort of sexual favour from me. I used to talk to a guy that I was really compatible with & we had really good conversations & laughed together & everything, & sometimes he would help me with my homework back in high school, but then after helping me, he would always tell me I owed him something in return, & it was always me having to send him nudes or something as a way to say thanks or pay him for the help he gave me.

So does that mean they didn't really love or care about me? does that mean they were possibly only just being nice to me just to get something sexual from me at the end? or is it normal for guys to do this? are guys supposed to be happy to help you without asking for a sexual favour in return when they actually love you?

[Faerum]

Sexual favors in return for help means they don’t actually care about you.


It is natural to want to have sex with the woman you love though, my wife and I both have the same love languages with #1 being physical touch. Sex is an import part of a healthy relationship and it shouldn’t ever be used as an exchange for something.

[RealMarek]

If a man loves a woman and he is healthy he will almost certainly think about having sex with her, but he would not demand sexual favors in exchange for things or push her into sex before she is ready.

[Wgatap999]

Definitely true in my book. I don't really think about sex when I'm meeting somebody or getting to know somebody I mean you might get a pop up where in your mind the outfit she's wearing or something she does that might tease you even though she doesn't mean to tease you might make you sexual but if you truly have feelings for one another it'll all work out and it's not something that I would think about all the time unless we were sexually active I still wouldn't think about it all the time not that I wouldn't want to be with my partner as much as possible when we were both horny but yeah

[DonkeyDan]

TLDRBasically Guys are going to eventually want sex even with love for the girl, some will happliy wait for it, but it wouldn't be romantic love if they weren't sexually attracted to the girl.

[ARWINGx1]

To me, it wouldn't be love if it's ONLY Sex, instead of 50% Sex & 50% Non-sexual reasons.

[Dargil]

It won't necessarily be, but close intimacy will be at the top of the page.

[Cubus]

Some guys are like this. They're just rare.

[Twalli]

I am going to want sex if we're dating. Not immediately, and not in the first couple of months, but I will want it eventually. I won't marry someone who I am not already in a sexual relationship with, because I won't propose before then. Yet, I don't date or pursue women for sex. I date and ask women out for a meaningful relationship.

[WhiteBoyChill]

Absolutely true. And for all the guys saying no, they’ve never actually felt love.

[WhiteBoyChill]

But yeah. In the end we will want sex eventually

[Erron_Black]

of course

[Anonymous]

For me I've unfortunately fallen for a few girls. I always was interested in taking them out getting to know them, being able to hug and kiss them. Being able to cuddle up and watch a film or while reading books and even cuddle and sleep in the same bed.

I'm. more interested in the intimacy of a relationship knowing and caring and loving each other.

It's not that I'm against sex. It's partly that it's not the main interest for me and also that I would need to know them well first as I have anxiety issues and well no experience. There are a few fantasies I have but there all around bringing the woman pleasure.

So I don't know if the statement is true. Above is just what I'm interested in I don't know if I made a lot of sense. And well I don't have any experience an with realtionshios. I'm happy to answer any questions if you have any.

[Anonymous]

Most guys are thinking sex as the final goal in the relationship and we will always want it but will wait if we want a relationship with you and obviously frequent sex instead of a one time reward like a player. I would probably have sex on the first date if they wanted it but I would hope for many more times after. I know sex shouldn’t be a reward but if women were not the gatekeepers of sex then it would not be like that since they hold back most times

[Anonymous]

No. Normal guys won't expect anything in return for your company or help. If someone really did this, then they're a shit person who has no respect for themselves or others. If someone is attracted, they'll pursue sex at some point but not like a prostitute as payment for something, nope. Love and sex go hand in hand.

[Anonymous]

No, lol.