I'm worried that the Christian guy I'm seeing might leave me for a girl who puts out. What do I do?

[Anonymous]

We're both Christians. He claims to be one but drinks alcohol and hangs out mostly with non-Christians. I assume sex is important to him but I don't know if he saves it for marriage like I do. We've dated for a month and I don't know if I should bring up sex. It should be understood that Christians save sex for marriage, so I might insult him by asking what his views are on sex. He has mentioned before that he wants to take things slow, I don't know what that means. Should I casually bring up that I am abstinent?

[joe_schmidt]

Okay, so... <sighs>... this makes me sad for you and everyone who closely follows the "rules" of organized religion; rules that were created hundreds of years ago by men who had little value of women and wanted a way to control every aspect of life.

I can't wait for the day when I can read a Bible that was written in the 21st century with rules and morals that apply in today's world.

I know you didn't want to hear all of that, but if you take into consideration how extremely outdated your conservative rules are, you'd realize he (and you) can worship God however you want. You might want to keep your legs closed until you're married and realize he has a small dick and sucks in bed of which case, you're screwed because conservative Christianity doesn't allow for divorce... OR... you can get over it, realize the religion you follow was not actually created by God or Jesus, but a bunch of old white men who wanted power and their own worshipers, and created rules that are no longer relevant today... enjoy his company and his body, and share yourself with him without worrying what "God" would think.

[Wgatap999]

You're definitely doing the right thing by waiting you're stronger than I was. However after my marriage it's been 13 years that I have held out and am now talking to a woman who respects My views who has also come to God which is amazing and is willing to get baptized as a Christian. She's willing to wait and realizes that prayer works because of different things I've prayed for her over. I would not say anything to him yet I would just continue to get to know him it's only been a month. Don't get too close too quick take it slow. And just because he smokes or drinks or hangs out with non-christians doesn't really necessarily mean anything now if he was Mormon then yeah smoking drinking would be completely wrong but as a Christian he's allowed to drink he can smoke if he wants however him being around others that are not necessarily Christian would be okay maybe he's able to open up and teach them about Jesus and what a Christian supposed to be and they might then want to turn and get to know God and so forth. If he's only hanging around other Christians how's he going to save other people through Jesus and do God's work.

[Curiousgirl2414]

You’re assuming all Christians are the same, like it’s an exclusive club where we all have the same beliefs and values towards ourselves and others, when in fact, many of us each have our own interpretations of the religion and it’s teachings.

you're a Christian who is saving yourself for marriage with conservative values. I am a Christian who believes that sex is natural and a normal human behavior, and if I trust the person I’m doing it with, I don’t need a marriage certificate to give me permission, and it’s completely okay for us to have those differing, conflicting beliefs.

This is why it’s important to have that conversation with him. He can be a Christian, and also feel comfortable with you to be intimate pre marriage. That doesn’t necessarily mean he’ll cheat, but it could mean that you’re not compatible in that way, which happens often when it comes to religion.

[SnakeBoop]

it should be understood that having sex doesn't make someone a non christian.
You need to communicate your preference in that you are waiting for marriage to have sex.
Do NOT gatekeep how you think someone should practice their religion? yikes

[horatiohornblower]

One of Jesus' miracles was turning water into a lot of wine. Alcohol isn't an issue. Passages in general lend acceptance to drinking for merriment. The main issue is becoming a drunkard or committing debauchery while drunk. So, it is okay to drink if you can control yourself.

The exceptions being special occasions where you give up drink as your sacrifice for a set amount of time. Such as Lent or Passover.

Yes, you should bring up that you are abstinent.

[TheBootyChest]

You got to talk to him about it. Get him to open up and if he doesn't give you the answers you want or prove he is telling you the truth, then it's time to leave.

[DonkeyDan]

You do really need to have that conversation to see if you're both on the same page, nobody should make assumptions.

[mark000h]

I would put it straight out there. Say you're waiting for marriage, ask him if he is of the same mind. If not, then you're wasting your time. Whatever you do, don't compromise your standards for someone else.

[Dargil]

I think a good conversation examining your future together is in order.

[AviatorTom]

It's okay for you to save sex for marriage, but please don't be misled into thinking that all Christians have no sex until marriage. No sex until marriage is important to you, so please let your guy know that. How he reacts will help you decide what kind of relationship you have.

[Cubus]

Just drinking alcohol is nothing bad - it's just about balancing, and not being addicted.
And I think you should tell him about it. Just to make it clear. If he's not into it, then not telling him would be wasting your time.
But don't wory it will be fine :)

[Jamie05rhs]

Yes, you definitely should bring it up. Don't leave that to chance. A lot of guys are fake Christians. You need to pin him down on where he stands, and then hold him accountable for that.

[Wise4myage]

At some point, he's gonna need to know how you feel about the subject of sex. But you don't have to bring it up just yet.

[Wise4myage]

Its best not to assume.

[Guardian45]

I'll honestI'm m probably not the right person to answer. I don't believe in God. But you should have safe sex (condom) with your boyfriend.

[Anonymous]

Just tell hime your lines in intimacy.

[Anonymous]

You know, there are several type of Christian. There were those who are on more conservative, some mild a bit, some more to liberals, and also those who are only Christian on the paper. Should not judge him on how he practise his Christian type.

As for him, if he cannot wait for marriage and have sex with other women instead then he is not worth it. He can easily replace you with someone else once he is bored with you after sex. Sure, sex is part of human nature but sex also are optional since you not gonna die for not having it. There are other man who can wait for marriage. Regardless their religion, sex before marriage are optional. You decide it.

[Anonymous]

“Christian” is just a cork against natural human behaviour.
He is male, males want pussy, if pussy is offered elsewhere, he will take it.
No male willingly saves it for marriage.
If you want to be with him, you need to put out.

[Anonymous]

I have fucked Christian guys with Christian girlfriends, they are desperate for it.