Need some advice. What should mu next move be in regards to how to respond to this?

[Anonymous]

So I've been seeing this guy for 8 months. Known one another for a few years and we rekindled meeting up after a year of not speaking or seeing each other.
I sent him this message:
I feel like I only get to see you once a week.
This doesn't feel enough for what I want.
I know your busy, so am I. Part of me feels this is an excuse.
I want someone who wants to be around me, who feels excited to see me, there is more contact etc. I don't think I'm being unreasonable.
I dont want to smother you but I also feel like I need more yenno
At the end of the day, I dont just want to be a sex toy to you. Originally perhaps.
I feel I am constantly seeking out more from you, more then you wish to give. Your very reserved about yourself. You're not very open. You don't wish to show vulnerability and I don't know how to work with someone who is rigid. I feel I share things that I wouldn't with just anyone. I try and push some of my own boundries to show I am open. But I just feel sometimes I am met with resistance.
What or who are you resisting?
Is it just me?
Is it something I did? Or am I pushy?
I don't know. But I chose to be open with you, part of me wants to receive it back in return, part of me doesn't know what to do. I dont play guessing games
His response in image below...

I feel like this is a cop out reply tbh, and I part of me doesn't want to even give a response, considering the time and effort I've been putting into seeing him

[LZPanzer]

I think you need to have some patience.

You want to take things to the next level. And I get the sense he hasn't considered what that next step means to him. The resistance you speak of shows this. The resistance isn't against you but himself. He's unsure how, or possibly if, to open up to you and expose that vulnerability.

Find a way to show him you want to move to the next stage rather than tell him you want to.

[Asker]

This was a very good comment. Its easy for me to be blind to other things such as considering how he feels about vunerability, and the pandoras box he mentions. Part of me assumes, only by what i know of him an how he acts, is that he doesn't want to reveal to much and is unsure how it will affect or impact what type of relationship we have. I get there is more to it then simply this or that. I fli ker between thinking of it one way, to stepping back and thinking from his point of view. Its easy not too consider things from anothers perspective when we question our own

[LZPanzer]

Most guys are very gaurded in their emotions. It's a cultural expectation and it's not something that is easily navigated. Sadly there is nothing you can do about it other than be present. It's a journey he must take on his own.

[LZPanzer]

Do keep in mind he may just simply not be ready yet. I say be patient but don't put your life on hold. Figure out your limits and if they are exceeded give him a proper break-up. It's feedback he will need.

[Markm3212]

DUMP his ass

he has already said (reading between the lines) he doesn't have the time to see you as much as you would like. this is a cop out as, when i meet a lady that i want to see, i drop everything i can to be with them. and i believe most guys do

[MrCommodore]

My honest opinion based on those messages is that he isn't fully interested right now, he probably likes you on some level, maybe enjoys some casual fun, but his vibe isn't really seeking to appease your concerns, he just confirms he wants it to remain that way.

Obviously I'm basing this on just these messages, so I probably have a large margin of error in my advice.

[Asker]

No no, i think those points are valid. I would say you are probably right. From how he is and the way he responds. He doesn't acknowledge some things i say even the bit about 'sex toy'. I don't know that feels uneasy to me. But that is my response to it. Talking from experience if i mentioned that in a text to a guy who was into me and cared, they would usually give me reassurance of some sort or go against the comment to make it less negative yenno. The vibe feels off

[Asker]

Do I reply to his message? Or just leave it Part of me thinks not replying at all is the best option

[MrCommodore]

I agree, If I felt a girl in the past had evenslight concerns and liked her, I would be quick to clarify and ease her fears.

[MrCommodore]

Sorry for the delay, I'm still in work (Irish timezone), only seeing this now. It depends on how you feel, I mean your own gut feeling. Personally for me looking at it from a neutral viewpoint, my feeling us that he isn't making enough effort at this point to ease your concerns, which is worrying and eould make me suggest moving on. However only you know all of the details, maybe there is something I'm not seeing about him, maybe he genuinely doesn't communicate well. But I'd still expect him to make a better effort to keep you.

[Finchie40]

Sounds like he just likes the convenience of you , whenever it’s convenient for him , you are just a sex toy to him so the relationship is totally one sided , you are best to stop seeing him and find someone that wants to give you the same in return

[Lazyrider67]

Sounds like he's just looking for a friend with benefits. Dump him and find someone who appreciates you.

[Guardian45]

DTMF!

[emperor90]

Maybe you are both busy and he is dealing with issues

[Neilbud]

Sounds to me like you are both dealing with some things. And you used sex as a tool to try and deal with those issues. I would recommend starting over, ovoid the physical and instead take time to talk until you both are comfortable dealing with these issues together.

Again, not judging. Just analyzing from the limited information you get on a gag post and trying to help.

[Tstrbrainer]

I never been in a relationship, but still I feel that he's not interested to spend more time with you.

That's my first guess after reading his response

[Anonymous]

Well you have been told that he doesn't want to give you want you want so you can keep wasting your time with someone who doesn't forfil your needs or you can move on.

The choice is yours.

[Opinion Owner]

Oh, fair warning though.. You might find that you dont actually want what you think you want because if you really did have a man in your life who told you what was in his head he would no longer be mysterious, he would just be a guy, a real person with real problems who thinks a lot of stuff you dont agree with. So be careful what you wish for and if you really do want what you say you want then that will require you to actually select for that, its no good going for tall dark and mysterious and then complaining that they dont open up to you.

[Asker]

Very valid points. Yeah I get you, obviously what your saying makes sense. I can't say I want one thing and then be really shocked or put off when I recieve it. You've given me to some things to think about. I need to know what I want and be sure its what I want and i also need to be ok with deselecting those who don't match my needs/desires. I dont want to waste my time obviusly, so I need to be mindful an reflective

[Opinion Owner]

Well, feel free to pm if you decide that is what you want once you have made up your mind ;)