Is my current lack of success in dating a result of just not meeting the right person?

[Anonymous]

27F, been on and off the apps for years. I’ve tried them all, I’m now trying bumble because the guys that have been reaching out to me I wasn’t interested in (luck still sucks). The one time I dated a guy for a few months, I wanted it to end because I feel like I settled due to lack of physical attraction. Now, I’ve been on bumble for a brief while and met up with two guys. The first guy seemed to like me but I didn’t like him. I just met up with another guy, we talked for a few hours and he seemed interested in meeting up again. I enjoyed talking to him I’m just not sure if I would want to take it any further, part of me is kind of interested in going out a second time but I remember how I settled for the last guy I saw for a few months. I ended up seeing the second guy yesterday and was kind of irritated by him, he ended up saying that he wasn’t feeling it from me & thinks it won’t work out. I wouldn’t have gone out again but it’s the fact that he ended things first. I want the romance from dating, just a little note that I don’t really have sexual desire. I like the thought of intimacy like kissing etc but I don’t masturbate and haven’t had sex in years. Could that contribute to my lack of success? Or am I just not meeting the right guys? I feel like dating shouldn’t be this hard, my life is all about shutting down the ones I don’t want & the ones I do want don’t feel the same way.

TL; DR: Bad luck in love or am I the culprit?

[TonyV]

So you turned aguy down cause you're taking this league thing to serious, you felt you settled for his looks and don't want to settle again. You feel you need a certain level of attraction but also have no desire to have sex? How can you be attracted to someone and not want to have sex?
Most of us guys want to have sex, the good looking ones that can get sex easily are probably gonna want it more then us ugly guys that are use to going without it.
Sounds like your trying to take the king of the jungle, a lion, and expect him to just be some cuddly kitten.
Also kind of egotistical that you would be upset that a guy you where going to dump anyways wanted to dump you too, how is a mutual breakup not the best outcome? You wanted him to be upset over you? That's messed up.

Sounds like you are really making your dating pool small cause
1 you feel you deserve some good looking guy so you are ignoring a lot of average guys
And
2 you're trying to find a guy that dosent want to fuck you, most of us want to have sex, it's why we date, sure we do want to find a soul mate but if I just need fun and company I'd hang out with my guy friends, I have friends for that. Not to mention at least for me personally I don't care about kissing much and holding hands often just gets annoying.

Sounds like you have a lot of expectations and pre conceived notions and aren't willing to make compromises. Relationships are about compromise, give and take, I'll do the silly romantic stuff if I get something out of it, I'll put up with kissing, hand holding, getting flowers on Valentine's day, fixing things or even just putting up with her bad mood one week out the month cause she does stuff for me, she cooks for me, she like to sow up my torn clothes and . . . And cause she likes to give me blowjobs.
I've got a pretty great gal cause I settled on other things, like ideally I would have found a pale skinned redhead but I let the looks slide cause it's unrealistic to find everything you want in one person, you cN try to but you'll be looking a long time before you find them.

[Leonharted]

I don't know enough about you to say whether its bad luck or if its you. Either is possible.

[ering987]

maybe you aren't looking in the right spot it's tough with shutdowns here and there and covid rules bla bla bla... Just stop looking and you will find each other