How to improve communication with women?

[Anonymous]

I guess this is more of a rant than a question. I went through a painful divorce in 2019. I've dated and even had a relationship since then but I've been experiencing a lot of frustration lately. I realize that every relationship platonic or otherwise that I've ever had in my life has been because the other person initiated it. So basically My frustration is because I am tired of dating women who I'm not attracted to. I have no problem talking to women I'm not attracted to and these are the women who end up liking me. When I speak to women I'm attracted to and try to initiate something outside the friend zone they get turned off. I'm such a fucking idiot and I don't know how to fix it. I don't know what it is I just say dumb shit and give off a bad vibe. I see men with beautiful girlfriends who they treat horribly. I see beautiful women at the bus stop with their boyfriend who's wearing $200 pairs of sneakers While she's struggling with kids getting ignored. I feel like I have a lot going for me, I work I have my own three bedroom house, I drive a beautiful car, I exercise and am in ok shape physically. I just turn into an idiot whenever I'm attracted to someone. Honestly I have a good life but my loneliness is really casting a big shadow. I figure if some abusive jerk can get a beautiful woman why can't I. If someone were to offer castration for free I'd take it so I would not have this burden, and just focus on what's important. I'm not horny I want someone to eat with and go to the store with and cuddle with. Thankfully I believe in God's will, cuz if I was an atheist I would just think the worst. I'm really hoping things get better for me but let's be honest I'll probably die alone.

[SueShe]

In your age group (36-45), women don't seek the same thing anymore as they do when they are 18-25. They are seeking for a stable relationship and sex tends to become a secondary issue.

However, men don't see it the same way and that's were the problem lies, at least most of the time anyway.

In order to have friends or a girlfriend, you must be pro-active and find friends. They will not just pop up in your life without you being involved in the relation. Best is to join a club, take a hobby where you can meet people with similar interests.

If you are good at one specific occupation, then see if you can find a club or place where others meet that share that passion. The rest will just fall automatically into place. Sharing the same interests with a person is always a good start to get to know that person better because you have common grounds.

But you have to work on yourself first. That would possibly include shyness and/or social anxiety.

You can train your approach, your attitude and expression in front of a mirror for example. Think of what message you want to bring across and rehearse it until you are satisfied. The next step is the most difficult one and that is the one where you have to put in practice what you learned and rehearsed.

But without you wanting and acting upon it, nothing will ever happen. You have to get out of your comfort zone for it to happen. The most important is not to be afraid to fail. If you are rejected, get back onto your feet and try again.

[Jazziqueen98]

It doesn't sound to me like he is scared of rejection, It also doesn't seem like he has an issue with shyness since he is talking to women he's attracted to and getting rejected. You're telling him he needs to meet new friends and they won't just pop into his life.. did you even read What he said? He knows that, He explains in his question that he's trying to and does get out of his comfort zone. And by the way it sounds it also seems like he's trying to be what he's trying to attract. You need to figure out what to do to make you more comfortable around women you like. It could just be improving communication skills. Don't listen to people who copy and paste generic dating advice from a magazine like this person. You deserve everything you think you deserve, Just be patient, someone will come along.