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Why doesn’t he want to kiss me?

Vida_Real890
I met this guy a few months ago at my college and we’ve been practically inseparable. At first we’d hang out with our group of friends together, but they all suddenly got into relationships and we’re now always left alone together most of the time. Even when we’d be in group settings people would just assume that that we were in a relationship because we have so much chemistry, and we just “fit well together “. To not make things awkward, we’d both just ignore all these assumptions and rumors and carry on with our friendship. Over time, the lines between friends and boyfriend became blurred for me. We started doing things that regular friends wouldn’t do, like being in bed together cuddling. He would often get hard around me but I’d pretend I didn’t notice ( also, for reference we’re both 20). Until one day, things escalated and I ended up giving him a blowjob. But even while all of this was happening, he made zero attempts to kiss me. Over the next month I ended up giving him a blowjob 2 more times and he still hasn’t attempted to kiss me. While all of this was happening undercover, we were still becoming closer and closer as friends. I’m not the type to go around giving blowjobs to just anyone, especially without being kissed first. But I think I’m developing feelings for him and it’s clouding my judgement. But the fact that he hasn’t tried to kiss me has me over thinking. Is he just using me not get a nut? Also, for context.. all other times we did something inappropriate he initiated it, but he’d still seem very hesitant to do it. After the first time, he said that it had to be a one time thing. Then after the second time, he said he doesn’t regret it but he’d probably never do it again… but it did happen again.
Why doesn’t he want to kiss me?
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