Sexual Relationships
+1 y

Is being a male virgin sexy or attractive?

Is being a male virgin sexy or attractive?
Male sexlessness is a rising trend. I think it is in direct proportion to the rising anger felt by many young males in our society. The weird thing is that most conversations at this site are discuss issues of sex/gender as an issue of equivalence. Like if women complain about sexual harassment, you find that males here post similar themes to debunk their claims. As though we all deal with the issues no matter what sex we are.

That's just a stupid idea.

In truth, males and females feel different pressures for different reasons. Illustrated in one of the most brilliant observations by a blue anonymous poster ever right here.

The CATCH 22 of older male virgins. Why are women harsher towards them?

Male virgins are constantly shamed by both men and women. I know that in my own specific community, it is extreme. But no one asks the same questions of women. The funny thing is that even as the demand for a woman being a virgin is sexist on its face, it still shows that virginity in women is valued.

I hope folks chime in honestly. Of course, I do not claim men deserve sex for their hardships, but they do deserve honesty.
Yes! Sure it is. I find men with no sexual experience attractive.
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No! Why would I want a man with no experience?
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+1 y
It is funny how we have so many male virgins posting about their experiences, but we don't have many women forthcoming about their views on male virginity. I think it is more important to be honest. There is nothing wrong with wanting a guy with experience, especially if that is your honest opinion. Or at least there shouldn't be. Is this an issue of guilt or shame?
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Superb Opinion

  • Virginity is such a weird, vague, and pointless concept to begin with. No one can even agree on what it even exactly is. Being a virgin (by any definition) is neither inherently good nor inherently bad. If you're 30 (male or female) and still a virgin even though you don't want to be, that's bad. Because that means you're suffering. Social pressure is also bad, whether it's social pressure to have sex or else you're a freak (men) or social pressure to stay "innocent" until marriage or else you're a slut (women).

    A lot of guys are obsessed with virgin women and have a lot of hatred for women who dare to have an active and independent sex life. It's just weird to me. I get that if you're inexperienced you might prefer a partner who's similarly inexperienced. But that's usually not it. They usually demand purity, even if they've had sex themselves before. It's an ideological thing. And because they're super insecure and fragile. I prefer experienced women, everything about it is a benefit to me.

    Male virgins? The vast majority are not virgins by choice. They're suffering, they're bitter, they're frustrated, they're angry. There's nothing attractive about any of that. And this creates a viscious circle that makes even harder for any of them to ever get laid.

    What do I even want to say? I don't know, probably that we need to abandon this whole wishy-washy concept of virginity. What's even the point of it in today's society? Its purpose used to be to control women. Then it's been expanded to shame men. I wish we could just stop it and let people live their lives and mind our own business.

    • I just think honesty is the best policy. There wouldn't be so much anger if we as men came together and talked about what should be valued in terms of masculinity. Women can say whatever they wish. But men mock other men for being virgins. That's wrong.

    • I can agree with that.

Most Helpful Guy

  • honestly... I do not care about other men's sex life, nevermind being a "virgin" or not

    my brothers, my cousins, my best friends, my friends and acquaintances, coworkers, classmates, neighbors and more and beyond... never once I've asked, hey did you have sex yet so I know if I can make fun of you or not...

    and when the topics came out or were brought up by others, of course I didn't mock them...

    but I'm only talking about my own experience within my circles, don't know how others have had it

    • Well, in my community it was the biggest thing. If you didn't have sex by 16, you were a loser.

    • interesting... my first time was at that age 16, almost 17 years old... but pretty much anybody found out about my "own business" but yes, I was less into bigger circles of friends, so less peer pressure about these things

Most Helpful Girl

  • Yes I find male virgins attractive. And I don't think there is anything to "teach" him if I would be with one, as sex is something people have done for millions of years and certainly know intuitively how to do. It's kind of like the "mother instinct" which just comes naturally.
    I don't think there would be a big difference between a virgin and a non-virgin. People who have lost their virginity let's say at 15, think that a virgin at 25 or 35 will be at the same "level" they were when they were 15 and lost their virginity. But it's not like that at all.
    The only thing that I would be concerned is if maybe he will have a feeling of "missing out" later for having been only with one girl. If he feels more tempted to cheat because of this.

    • Hmmm. . . I have to admit that I had that feeling of "missing out" when I was being mercilessly teased over not having sex. I am not sure why folks would say there is no difference for males with respect to virginity. It is how most men rate their masculinity. Perhaps that should change, but for now, that is one of the traits we associate with it.

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 2

  • Yes!!! It’s a thing I really really like.

    • Really? That's interesting. Why would you be attracted to a male virgin?

    • I just like that he hasn’t been with other girls. It’s just a thing I’m attracted to and don’t completely know how to explain.

    • Okay. I was just curious. Thanks for responding!!!

  • More like abstinence is. Cf Twilight

  • After access to dating apps and social media women's expectations grew enormously. Women at their prime only want the most attractive richest guy they can find of. But in the past depending on social circles they didn't have much access to it. So they also used to date normal guys whom they meet, fall in love with their personality. Now hot guys and all girls can reach out to each other so they have unlimited options. After a while, those girls see that perhaps those guys weren't that good person in reality, and theirs too much competition as they age. So the average guy's wait time elongated.

    • I don't understand how this is not true for males too. Dating apps give men a lot of options. And from certain standpoints, more than women. The only thing i have seen in my experience is men being taken advantage of in the online dating world at higher rates. Men have to be careful dating online. Even more so than women.

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