How do I (F18) tell my boyfriend that I may be bisexual, and that I want to explore myself with another woman without him thinking of it as cheating?

I have always questioned my sexuality. I do believe that I may be bisexual, but I feel like I can’t really know until I have relations with other women. I get turned on by women as I do men, however I don’t know how to confirm my sexuality without actually exploring it. I know that there isn’t a 101 bisexuality guide and there isn’t just some test I can take on Google which is why I want to explore myself with other women to confirm whether or not I am Bi.

I also want to confirm it before I come out to people because that’s a very serious thing. Is it normal for me to want to “confirm” my sexuality?

The problem is, my boyfriend takes loyalty very seriously (which is what I love about him), and he may consider me having relations with another woman as cheating. What I want to do is talk to my boyfriend, meet a woman I feel comfortable with and that knows my situation (she also has to be comfortable with the fact that I don’t know whether or not I’m bisexual), have relations with her, and confirm whether or not I am really bisexual. If I was really comfortable with her I would offer my boyfriend a threesome with her if he’s into that. I know he’s had a threesome with women before, but I don’t know if he would be comfortable with having a threesome with his girlfriend.

This is something I want to talk to him about when I’m comfortable but I don’t know how to bring up this topic and approach it. He could be totally down with me exploring my sexuality because I know some men that would encourage their girlfriends to do so. However, he could also shut me down if He isn’t comfortable with me doing so.

This man is someone I want to spend the rest of my life with, but I also don’t want to stay in the closet forever. I know that me sleeping with another woman would be considered cheating, but I feel like it wouldn’t be as bad if I were to tell him upfront rather than me doing it behind his back (I would never do that). What should I do in this situation?
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Superb Opinion

  • There is a movie that I think you will love. it's called "Below her mouth" and is produced and directed by lesbians. It is about a girl who thinks she is straight but begins to be torn between her boyfriend and a lesbian that she meets and develops strong feelings for. It's a total girl flick for sure. I really don't think guys would like it that much. I totally loved it, one of the best I have ever seen... I'm not kidding.

    Let me know if you want to see it and I will provide you with the internet link to watch it.

    Best wishes :)

    How do I (F18) tell my boyfriend that I may be bisexual, and that I want to explore myself with another woman without him thinking of it as cheating?
    • Omg I would love to watch it! Thank you!

    • OK, if you will follow me, at least temporarily, I will put the link in your PM :)

Most Helpful Guys

  • You need to break up with him, it’s cheating.

    Couple of things you will need to find a girl that is attracted to you, who is lesbian, bisexual and wants to have a relationship.

    If by some miracle you stayed with him, you would also have to find one that in addition to the above was comfortable enough to have an affair with someone cheating on their partner.

    Sexuality does not come in to it, if you are in a relationship you are in it with that person or you are not.

    if you are wanting a more open relationship, then he can justifiable fuck other women.

  • Well, the only way I can think of would be to include your boyfriend in it. It's not cheating if you're doing it together. So perhaps a threesome. You said he's done so before, so I imagine he'll be on board with the idea. Just be upfront it about. Be honest. Tell him you'd like to experiment and would include him, if he's comfortable with it. The worse he can do is say "no."

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 24
  • Well he already had a FFM threesome in the past, so he might be ok with that.

  • 'This man is someone I want to spend the rest of my life with'

    Ignore all words... only pay attention to a persons actions!

  • I’m curious. If this dude is someone you want to spend your life with then why would it matter if you’re bi or not?

  • You can't control what he thinks. The truth is that you are bisexual and would not be happy in a relationship where you only had sex with a man. You'll just have to tell him, and if he can't accept it, then he's not the man for you. There are plenty who would have no problem with it. Would you have a problem if your male partner also had other partners, male or female?

  • Ask for a threesome?

  • Monogamy is NOT natural or normal for us as primate mammalian species.

    Read the book "SEX AT DAWN" by Cacilda Jetha and Christopher Ryan

  • Bi sexuality doesn't trump genuine satisfaction in a relationship. Meaning, even if bi sexual interest exists. .. someone who is trully in love and is genuinly satisfied with their choice, temptation of another won't matter.

    This is a hint that the mate choice wasn't the best and not being satisfied might be settling in.

    What to do? If your friendship is strong enough tell them. If not... may want to hold back... especially if the other is naturally insecure.

  • Just be honest and the sooner the better, otherwise its cheating if you go behind his back.

  • Was because you are bi doesn't mean you need multiple partners.

  • you just open your mouth and tell him one of two will happen he will go bad news or he will stay and want to watch you and her

  • If you ask him and he is okay with you doing it, then you aren't cheating

  • Oh, you want to cheat without calling it cheating! Why did you say so!

  • How do I (F18) tell my boyfriend that I may be bisexual, and that I want to explore myself with another woman without him thinking of it as cheating?

    future

  • It is cheating

  • A lot of ladies are bi-curious. IMHO, the best way is to talk with him the same way you worded the background for your question.

  • Just tell him how you feel and what you said in this question.

  • You can't fully commit to a relationship if you don't know who you are and what you want. You need to talk to him and be honest.

  • Every guy is different but personally I'd be up for it

  • it is cheating.

    He'd probably be okay with a threesome tho

  • My wife is bisexual, and it took her years to be willing to tell me. I don't mind, and support her exploring, though she has yet to get up the nerve to do it.

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