Sexual Relationships
+1 y

Am I the only one who thinks Friends with Benefits/F-buddy/hookups is wrong?

It seems people nowadays are treating sex like it's nothing, like if it were getting your hair cut or seeing a movie, just some activity. I always believed even in a casual sexual encounter, there was supposed to be some level of intimacy or care. Am I naive? It seems like everyone nowadays is talking about getting laid like it's no big thing, like putting on a pair of socks. I'm not talking about the moral right/wrong in it, I'm talking about the casual manner in which people seem to be "hooking up" nowadays without so much as getting a hotel room (people have written that they met a friends with benefits in a car and gave the guy a BJ, then drove back home). What's happening to society? Why doesn't anyone think sex should be with someone you love or at least care a little bit for? Please help me understand.
Updates:
+1 y
Also would you ever consider having sex without any feelings or emotions other than "getting off"
+1 y
Thank you to everyone who answered this question. I was beginning to think I was alone in finding it disturbing that so many people treat something that is supposed to be an intimate act between 2 caring individuals into some self gratifying selfish transaction. If you choose this and are an adult, it's your business but I'm confused and a bit lost on all this. I am particularly disturbed to see so many young girls nowadays engaging in this and other random sexual acts with complete strangers.
2 1

Superb Opinion

  • I don't know how busy you are in your life and I don't know what kind of commitment a responsibility that you want what kind of girlfriend you want or don't want but there's something that is really really cool about finding a good good friend that you like to hang out with that you like to be with kind of like a girlfriend you know and you both have crazy lives both go and different opposite directions that you're horny you're passionate and you want to please somebody you want to make her feel like she's a million thousand dollars so it is kind of like everything you said fast food restaurant it's still very intimate it's very romantic it's very passionate there is a type of bond there that you can't get anywhere else not even from your girlfriend there is a trust there's a list of Love even it's one of the most beautiful things you will ever experience I'm sure you're probably right looking at it from a morals or ethics reason values we could debate it all day long but I will agree with you it probably is but we are all given a gift when we are born that gift is choice we get to choose who we want to be by the things we say and the things we do do two people come together and want to do this there is nothing wrong with it whatsoever and it's nobody else's business I would say don't knock it until you try it you come away from the whole different person

Most Helpful Guy

  • As far as when religion was alive before the 1980s, sex was sacred and virginity treasured.

    But TBH, time changes.

    For one, when religion reigns high, I think there wasn't Law that put man is such great disadvantage in case of a divorce. But today, when religion is dead, the Law is alive. Men feared and not commit hastily.

    Then yes, as you wrote, promiscuous sex is everywhere and everyone can get a fuck without facing discrimination (with or without money). So the slogan: Why pay when you can have it for free?

    What happened to society?
    Apparent Progress and relative Freedom.

    Individuals prefer to be called "atheist" than "Christians". "Virgins" are seemed as "2nd class, rejected goods". LGBT movement now passed Laws to legalized gay "marriages".

    Updates:
    I'm a divorced guy. I feared to commit again. Free sex? ABSOLUTE YES! Who cares emotions or feelings? I'm dying of internal explosions... LOL! Fuck today, worry about hell tomorrow. LOL!

Most Helpful Girls

  • He should’ve given her one back before she drove home 😊

    Sorry lol. I am “trolling” you in the sense that I’m giving a response you’ll find outrageous, but at the same time I’m being totally serious. Hooking up your whole life is not a good idea, but at the same everyone regardless of gender should have the right to go through a “hoe phase” now and then if they want, as long as they’re honest with their partners and don’t try to make it seem like more than it is (and here I’m speaking mostly but not exclusively to guys).

    • This only applies if you’re single

    • That's what the Amish believe as well, but I disagree with them. Haha

    • @Jamie05rhs there is nothing morally wrong with hooking up. But it can be a deadening and depressing lifestyle in the long term, especially for girls.

    • Show All

  • People have choices and allow to do what they want.


    Some people do it for sexual/emotional needs, filling in a void, trying something new, moving on with rebounds, fears or no desire of commitment, and etc.


    I used to think this way, but I’m more understanding of the hook up culture. I don’t 100% believe in everything of it with some of your reasonings being that it can devalue the meaning of intimacy and such, but I can understand it I would say. Though I do prefer to have a more genuine and loving intimacy.

    • But you just said, it ruins it for others

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What Girls & Guys Said

10 16

  • i had a friends with benefits and i like it a lot... i only gave him oral and he gave me oral like every 3rd or 4th times... emotionally i liked having someone i could get on my knees for he liked me in short robes or very short dresses and he liked 3-5 blowjobs each time which i did give... and there were plenty of times it was 2-3 but he did like them and needed to give them on a regular basis... he was loyal as he came over 4-5 times a week and he did fulfill me that way which was great he was also a lot of fun to be around.

  • From a different perspective here, I agree with you that yeah the intimacy and love is nice but sometimes it's also nice to be able to get off with somebody else when you can't or just don't want to deal with the complications of a relationship.
    I like the fact that sex isn't as taboo and experimenting with different people is easier than it was before.
    Yeah I think these things are dumb but this is something I also guess I'm a huge hypocrite about

  • I think it's several factors. It might be a side effect of the age of instant gratification we live in now. Where people are not willing to wait for anything, and this also ties into lack of commitment. You can hardly get someone to commit to a plan these days such as going to the movies, they're always "maybe" in the hopes that something better may come along, because communication is instant.

    And let's not forget that certain figures have convinced women that sexual promiscuity is "female empowerment", when actually it's the opposite. So these poor naive girls are out there more than willing to sleep around thinking they're simply exercising their sexual freedom, with not a thought for the consequences.

    And guys have a role in this too, we're stupid and hormonal. They want to experience "female empowerment", guys are more than willing to help. Again, no thought for consequences.

  • Friends with benefits is exactly that, a friend that you have sex with, there is a connection it's not all about the sex. Asides what does it matter to you what other people do in their private lives, how does it affect you directly?
    I am divorced and decided that I don't want a serious relationship right now and I dont want to be tied down to one person, I do have a connection with the women i have sex with. I also don't believe strongly in social constructs, just because society tells you how things should be doesn't actually mean you have to follow that. Many people are not in a position to have or want a steady relationship, but why should they miss out on having sex because you don't think its right?

  • I understand how you feel because I was in committed relationships.
    It's just that times seem to be changing, and lots of people seem to be sick of relationships now.
    I think there are still a lot of women who want relationships and a family if you search for them, but the number of people willing to just be friends with benefits seems to be growing too.
    It's an interesting time, not much you can do but roll with it.

  • No, you are not the only one. But not everyone thinks like you do. They may have different values and make different choices than you would. So what? Why worry about the behavior of others that does not affect you? Don’t like it, don’t do it.

  • No! I'm sure there's LOTS of other prudes out there.

  • pro and cons happens, so you're not alone.

  • It actually is nothing darling
    Sex is just a way to enjoy urself n give urself some physical pleasure n joys n there's nothing wrong about that tbh

  • I agree. That makes at least two of us - - - - -

  • Am here, we are in this together

  • No; you're definitely not the only one.

  • No. I do too. Sex is supposed to be for married people only (one man and one woman) and they should have learned to love each other before they got married. Anything else is wrong and can end very badly, as is painfully evident these days.

  • I think it should be, although I wouldn't be opposed to oral like that. If it was me penetrating her there needs to be more

  • too many girls these days, who do friends with benefits, screw up real relationships, for the rest of us. they need to stop doing them

    • Or you could adjust.

  • Yeah

  • Nah i agree with u

  • yes, you are alone in this type of thinking

  • Nope, and why are you anon. Though

  • It’s always been happening. It’s just more out in the open now.

  • Show More (6)

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