If I’m 18 and meet a guy online, what information should I get before meeting a guy for sex?

[Breanna_nonbinary]

Basically a friend is meeting a guy for sex that she met online. HOWEVER, she’s never received a face pic, only talks to him through Snapchat, doesn’t know his full name and he’s going to pick her up in his van.

What would you do before meeting someone from online? Do you think this guy is being shady? What information or verification do you absolutely require before meeting someone?

[Anonymous]

Your friend is being stupid. You need to knock some sense into her. Well unless she’s wishing to be killed, raped or kidnapped then this is an excellent way to go about it.

She needs to know his full identity. His name, where he lives, phone number, social media profiles, friends - all of it, and at least one of her friends and family need to know too. She also needs to tell you or someone else she’s close with when and where she’s going to meet up with him and when she’ll be home - and make sure she calls them when she’s home. He also need to be aware that her friends or family know who he is. The first time they meet up it should be in public during daytime, and she needs to get to and from there by her own. He should not be picking her up. And this is the very basic safety measures that should be taken in situations like this. She can also have location tracking apps on on her phone so you can see where she is, something like snap maps. She can bring self defense items/spray, you can go there too and just sit at a different table (if they go to a coffee shop/restaurant or whatever) without his knowledge. Things like that. But the first things I mentioned are the absolute minimum she needs to do.

[Anonymous]

If someone chooses to lead a dangerous lifestyle, then risk comes with the territory. Having a dude from the internet whose face she has never seen and name she doesn't even know pick her up in his van sounds like a scene straight out of a horror movie. I mean, how stupid can some people be? There's ways to somewhat reduce the risk, but this is a very risky activity no matter how you slice it.

When I was meeting guys from online (not for sex, but for actual dates in public), I would take a screenshot of the guy's picture/profile and share it with a friend. I'd also tell someone where I was going, what time I was meeting the guy, and how long I thought I'd be out with a promise to check-in at the end of the date. I'd also only meet in public places, drive my own vehicle, and make sure I was never alone with the guy (whether walking to my car at night or otherwise). I never would have partaken in something as risky as what you're describing. I'd rather miss out on someone than be tied up in some dude's basement being raped and tortured, but that's just me.

[HighValue]

First you should see his face before meeting. Some people don't want to show it right away, but they should before actually meeting.
Second, let a friend know you are going with someone, where you will meet them, and try to be on the phone with that friend when you meet up and tell the person that you want to take a picture of him next to his vehicle and send it to your friend just to be safe. (Make sure the picture include the license plate number).

Tell your friend set times that you will call to let them know you are still safe. At least a couple separate times that you will call in one or two hour intervals.

[DaveJord]

Ahhh... I will not answer this question because I would not want to give advice on, promote or make a young person thinks its ever a good idea for any reason to met a person on line and get in a van with a stranger for any reason at any point.

Obviously your friend should not consider doing anything like what you have explained and if they do not see that for themselves then they are probably destine to fail in life... I mean its just so dumb it should not require any explanation. If they can't see it for themselves then, it probably a futile effort... and they are destine to fail.

[Aerissa_Jade]

I would always text/chat for at least a week, usually two weeks.

Also meet in a public place, where we can chat in person for awhile before deciding what to do at that point.

You can get a vibe off someone this way, if it is just sex... he can get a room and tell you the number and you go to the room, knock on the door and walk in.

He still might kill you, but having a text trail, and a crime scene and the ability to run away usually into a hallway with camera's would deter most killers and not deter the horny guy.

Use your phone with something like life 360 app so friends can track you.

Meeting guys online is a risk, but so is in person. At some point you take all the precautions you can, but might just have to make that final leap after you've done what you can.

I would not get in his car, even after meeting and chatting in a public place the first time for a bit.

[Daniela1982]

More red flags than the Chinese have. I see in the news about women who leave bars with a guy and then are found dead. I guess it just depends on how hard up you are for sex. A vibrator is a lot safer.

[whirled_up_girl]

Everyone here gave good advice but yeah a good rule of thumb is to always meet first in a public place, both people providing their own transportation, maybe exchange paperwork about stds, have someone know that you'll be on a date, they can call and check in on you, and probably both people should have sex at a hotel.

[SnakeBoop]

should have had some type of video evidence they're not a catfish. and should absolutely set herself a time frame for the meet up. she should also decide in advance where they're meeting (preferable public and somewhere with cameras) and a hotel (ALL of which should be told to a close friend so after the time, if they haven't heard from your friend, they can set the cops on him).
She'd also be better to have her own ride to wherever to not rely on him if he turns out to be a creep.

[dustybiker]

That just gives me chills.
I would never do the online thing. I followed my gut instincts. They know what they like.

[Ms_Vanderquack]

His STD status.

[AndyOh]

Any time you connect with someone on-line and then want to meet for sex... as a female you need to be extra-extra careful.
There are a LOT of shady guys out there. So be Extra Careful!

[slatyb]

You should meet him for coffee and see how you feel about him. Never mast someone fir the first time in a private place.

[20yearsolder]

Yeah she may become a statistic, she should definitely not go. Preferably you should meet a couple of times before it just meeting to fuck. You should never climb into a vehicle with a stranger. They should probably meet at a hotel.

[CarolineW]

Ask to see a pic of himself that he took yesterday, not 10 years ago. Meet in a crowded place. Have a couple of friends watching discreetly from a distance, in case he turns weird and you need backup. Don't go in his car or to his home. Don't over dress. Keep it cool and casual. Don't try too hard. Be yourself.
Your friend is being really dumb if she is meeting him in a van. Duh...

[Citizenkirk]

You shouldn't meet the guy for sex you should meet the guy for coffee and maybe a sandwich and get to know the guy a real world face-to-face environment before you even think about physical intercourse.

[MelonSoda]

Make them video chat with you. If they refuse to do that, then you bail. That mf is a catfish.

[imjustadude]

Dude is shady. This sound like the start of one of those True Crime shows. You should always know who you are meeting and you should always meet someone in a public place not just a parking lot, etc. I mean the guy owes her at least his name, social media profile information, and a drink at a bar, etc.

[exitseven]

Maybe going out a few times and get to know him.

[bowenw]

Personal details including full name, address, and phone number. Verify this information.
Before meeting in person talk on the phone, or preferably have a video chat.
Meet somewhere safe such as inside a coffee shop for the first meeting.

[genericname85]

i would say, it's best to meet them in public a few times before you have sex. but if you want sex anyway, then why be scared?`i mean sex is what he wants anyway. no need for kidnapping if he gets it just like that XD

[annabananna]

Omg no she should not do this. She should meet him out for coffee first at least. Why won’t he show his face? I never met with anyone online who never showed his face.

[Seangreen]

I find that odd usually women don't just meet up with random dudes just for sex or maybe I'm wrong

[Luopio27]

Based on your info, this guy is a red flag. Refusing to reveal his real name and face, and then meeting in a van, sounds like regret will follow.


Ask your friend not to go and forget the online dating.

[MadBoy]

Bring a taser. And 911 on speed dial. And generally don't go into the vehicle. ... Or do this at all.