Men: when you make love to your partner, what do you think about?

[Anonymous]

Do you think about just sex? Do you think about what you are having for dinner tonight? Do you think about how much you love her?

[MTC29]

First, I like to tell her how beautiful she is, because she really is beautiful: she's tall and blonde, and simply gorgeous. I can't say that I love her, because the two of us aren't in love with each other.

The two of us are significant others, but that is where it ends. You have to be honest with each other.

[Asker]

Hmmm but isn’t “I love you” didn’t from “ I am in love with you “

[Asker]

Different*

[MTC29]

The word "love" is very powerful. I've only been in love with one woman: I proposed to her twice, and I was turned down both times. That's the end of love for me.

[Asker]

So why are you with someone you don’t love?

[MTC29]

Because we are very compatible. We like to do the same things; mostly travel, but we also enjoy the same music and foods (we both hate sushi!) She likes to drink, and so do I. You are a very young woman. Wait until you turn 54- which is the same age as my SO, and you'll understand a lot more than you do now.

[Asker]

I don't know if my stance will change on that. A little weird to pretend to love someone you don’t. I assume that you aren’t entirely honest about not exactly loving her to her face.

[Asker]

If you are honest, props to you, but I don’t think I could ever be with someone that I couldn’t say “I love you” to that person. I would feel so off

[MTC29]

You may assume whatever you please, young lady, but she is the one who has been married and divorced and has two grown children. I have no baggage. We enjoy each other's company, but love isn't a part pf our relationship. When you mature into a grown woman, you'll understand this. In the meantime, you have a LONG way to go to reach that level of understanding. I wish you good luck.

[Asker]

@MTC29 you have mentioned your own baggage though. You aren’t capable of loving anyone because you only loved one person. That sounds like personal baggage as well as hers. To each it’s own, and your relationship is working and that’s great, but I find it bizarre to sleep next to someone every night, make love to them, tell them they’re beautiful, do life partner things with them, and STILL can’t say that you love them. Interesting perspective

[RearEntryGuy]

Sorry to chip in... I perfectly understood @mtc29. The romantic love for a girl is like a roaring fire in the heart. It burns deep like a magma in the earth, waiting to explode. But when there is no outlet, the outlook appears calm to visitors a thousand miles away. This is what a broken heart feels. The love you understood is principled love. That of being kind, gracious, humane, etc. That which makes a good man. But that's what makes a good man, not that beast waiting to explode and unleash a million tons of deadly heat for just one deserving person. That the love we're talking about here.

[Asker]

@rearentryguy I understand, but it’s just weird to me. I feel like if I did this to my partner and they passed away tomorrow I would have so much guilt on not telling them that I loved them before they passed. Like something has to be keeping you from seeing other women that give you that same feeling. No?

[RearEntryGuy]

No. This love (Greek Eros) is not about compassion, etc. It's wild, untamed, and worse of all, unreasonable. Perhaps the Greek stories are right: the gods are making fun of men. I have a broken heart since 25 years ago. I married, I divorced and I'm now ranting. This what Eros is about. (Not the good man I was, working hard, pay for my family, honest, trustworthy da da da... no. Not this type of love)

[Asker]

@rearEntryguy are you in a relationship? Because my father is divorced, and single , but would rather be single than be with someone that he doesn’t love. He’s had several girlfriends and it sounded like he didn’t really love any of them

[RearEntryGuy]

6 months and looking. No I'll not marry again. But I do hope I can have a long-term sexual monogamous relationship with a woman.

[Asker]

@RearEntryGuy I guess it’s just how I was raised then. My father would rather be single and happy, than be with someone he can’t claim to love.

[RearEntryGuy]

Likely your father is more conservative. I'm the liberal type. Perhaps I'm angry. Still want that Eros I missed in my youth. I thought in could make my marriage work but no. I wasted 20 years. This is why I rant here.

[Asker]

@rearEntryGuy well I am sorry to hear that. I hope you find someone that will make it work with you. You seem very passionate about love and that is definitely a great quality

[RearEntryGuy]

Thanks. I'm more wanting to rant than seek. I'm already 50. My chance is already near zero. But yes. You're right. I'm passionate. I believe my last marriage was more "love" than Eros. It failed. Funny right? This is why I said, the Greeks were correct that the gods are making fun of men.

[Asker]

@Rearentryguy or maybe you just loved more than she did? That’s what it seems like. I’m all assumptions. Maybe you are angry because love didn’t work out in your favor? You and the guy above seem to have a common theme.

[RearEntryGuy]

Yes. This is why I chip in. I can understand what he wrote. And hey, sorry I hijacked this convo LOL! Hey, have a happy 2022! Good Health and Good Wealth to all!

[Asker]

Yes happy 2022!!! Praying for all to stay healthy, lucky, and wealthy!!

[Ratpack60]

Even if I love her I’m just thinking of how my body feels. I want to hear her moan and and talk dirty. I want our fucking to be all I’m thinking about

[jahaims]

I'm not thinking during sex, just feeling

[boobliker]

Let me get this over with as soon as possible? no LOL

[LaMiSch]

All of it. There are times when I and my girlfriend are just horny. But there are also romantic times and of course completely normal everyday life where you are just happy to have someone away from the stress.