Boyfriend asked for a threesome?

Me + my boyfriend of 5 months (friends for 2+ years before dating tho) were sexting and talking about some kinky stuff. Then he asks if i would ever consider a threesome? I said no immediatley and asked if he meant with a girl or guy. He says girl but then says nvm. This has really really hurt me, i liked this boy a lot and i did so much to try make him happy. Was this not enough? Is he bored of me? Got someone else in mind? He knows im insecure and get so jealous with other girls. Why has he done this to me. Its ended our relationship, i can't date someone who desires other girls. It really hurts keep crying ab it 🥴
0 7

Superb Opinion

  • I'm going for the truth that guys will fantasize other girls even if they are in a relationship. They would wonder how their friends look naked, how celebrities would look naked, how your friends would look naked.

    But the buck usually stops there, at fantasy. It's not about not being enough, it's just genetics.

    I think you should be glad that he shared his fantasy with you - pending your approval too. That means he respects you instead of just fucking someone else.
    But I read that the relationship ended. That's sad. But please take what I wrote into consideration in the future. You don't need to accept/embrace it, it's for you to decide.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Everyone has their kinks but that does not mean you have to surrender to all the demand that your partner makes. Some people are more open to having others join in on their sexual escapades than others, its not a matter of being correct or wrong just a question of what they are into. You on the other hand are obviously NOT into this particular fetish so in a healthy relationship you would both just avoid doing it. Its not difficult to accept that not everyone thinks the same way as you and might enjoy other things as well. Focus instead on the things that you both are into.

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 25
  • BYE, GUY!!! xxoo

  • You will never forget that he made that request and you will never trust what he says about his feelings for you, so it doesn't seem that this relationship will end on a positive note.

  • That’s a big reason to make him an ex.

    The other concern is it also involved ‘kinky’ stuff.

    it’s really important to trust the other person, it’s critical that there is Trust, Respect, Honesty and Communication.

    this is really your call, however personally I would reevaluate your relationship, it is something that will always be there in your mind and no doubt will come up again.

  • Move on.
    that kind of stuff only works if you are into it too. Doesn’t sound like your chemistry was right !

  • Yea, if you are not a bisexual then there is no much for you to gain from a FFM.

  • Grow up. People have sexual fantasies. I’m happily married but I’m often attracted to others too. My wife would be hurt if I cheated on her so I don’t hit on other women.

  • Mixture of him being selfish and wanting more, and him probably seeing it in porn and/or hearing about it through friends.

    If you are not ok with doing threesome's or open relationships in general, don't ever back down from not agreeing to do it. It may hurt you to let them go, but ultimately it's for the best. The pain will pass in time and you will begin to heal. If you are wanting a committed monogamous relationship, don't settle for anything less than 100% commitment. Period.

  • Maybe he meant he wanted a dog or goat for a threesome? lol j/k

  • If you are under 18, you should not be engaging in any kind of sexual activity. Sex can have long lasting and harsh consequences. You should be mentally more mature before you engage in it so you have the mental capacity to weigh the dangers sex offers.
    Also, keep in mind that once you engage in this kind of sex, you can’t take it back. If it leaks or if photos are taken, it can ruin your reputation. Be very careful and don’t let your boyfriend dictate your actions. He may not have your best interest at heart. In fact, if he is telling a person unde 18 to participate in threesomes, he definitely does it have your best interest at heart.

  • You're under, he's probably 18 or under too, right? He's a kid. He doesn't think about your long term "feelings" or what his request might indicate. He just thinks "wow, a threesome would be cool, and you already love me, so what's the big deal? " Lesson here is - lots of guys, especially boys, don't think about monogamy the way girls or women do. Some maybe, but lots don't.

    • True

    • Keep this in mind as you enter the dating world.

  • That's a terminator move he did. I honestly think he never cared about you (as friend and partner). He knew in first hand that you are insecure and just didn't bother to imagine your most likely reaction.

  • Most guys fantasize about threesomes. They might not actually consider following through with such. Also you will NEVER find any guy who is not attracted to the physical appearance of another girl, unless he's blind.

  • threesomes are immoral

    you shouldn't even be having sex at your age, let alone a boyfriend

  • everyone has fantasies. it's just a fantasy. the majority of people probably fantasies about having a threesome. you probably over reacted breaking up with him

  • What if he had said another guy?

    • Still no, its not my style. I like that passionate one to one stuff, that makes u feel special & loved. Otherwise why be in a relationship?

    • I feel u. If u wanna be w other people kinda defeats the purpose of being in a commuted relationship

    • Committed**

  • He doesn't want other girls without you
    He just want to experience some fantasies
    It doesn't meant that he doesn't love you

    • But why does he want more? Why isn't 1 partner enough?

    • Different men have different kind of fetish haha

  • It's good you dumped him and moved on. He obviously doesn't deserve you. Rest assured all men aren't like that and Mr Right is out there somewhere.

  • Sometimes it's not about him, guys are visual creatures, he may have been quite happy just watching you two girls enjoying each other. If any guy in a relationship asks for a FMF threesome tell him you make the rules. If that's you saying that intercourse is only with you ok. If its no kissing the third partner ok. Trust is the key.

  • He is not bored with you, just would like a threesome, you do not have to say yes

    • But why does he want more why isn't 1 girl enough?

    • a lot of guys have a fantasy of two, it is all about sex, nothing else

  • It's a fantasy of a lot of guys, he was telling you his. It's not fair for you to judge him if you were both discussing kinks and fantasies... be careful because he may not open up to you in the future.

    Also, a bit of advice... next time a guy asks if you would ever consider a threesome, excitedly say yes, that you know the perfect guy to join you! LOL 😆 Even if you're not really into it, it will most likely have him stammering and backtracking. Of course, it could backfire if that's what he really wanted...

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