Sexual Relationships
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My boyfriend wants to watch me sexually with another man. I've repeatedly told him no and that I'm completely uncomfortable with it. What should I do?

So I guess my boyfriend has a cuckolding kink but it makes me feel like I'm not special to him and that he doesn't have a desire to be monogamous with me. What should I do? I love him with all my heart but it just hurts to think that he would be willing to share me with someone else. I've told him this and he isn't says that he thinks "it would be hot". Like wtf?
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Superb Opinion

  • You know depending on your relationship this has to be one of the hardest positions to put your girlfriend or your wife in I can feel you and it's just not a good feeling I understand where you're coming from that would just going to break my heart I think but depending on the relationship and your kinks and all that kind of stuff then I could maybe understand it but still I would never ask my girlfriend or wife to do that she would have to ask me and I would say no LOL and that's just because a good friend of mine and I were talking one time and I said I had many fantasies about a threesome and I could tell you this my fantasies were hella better than the threesome that I had it was terrible. I don't mean terrible terrible I just mean it was just bad I realized after that moment that I'm only made for one woman because I only want to please one woman at what time it sucks when you're with a woman and you have her just on fire and the other girl pulls you off of her and it's like wait a minute I'm not finished with her yet and then it happens again and it happens again and it's just not worth it I want to complete my task LOL. I think you should explain it to your boyfriend but you also have to ask his reasoning
    I have learned that most guys that want to watch that happen it's because they have a little dick and they don't feel as if they're pleasing their girlfriend or wife and they want to watch their girlfriend or wife you fucked good and hard with a guy with a big dick I don't know how true that is but that's what I have read and somebody asked me one time if I would take his wife home and I sat down and I talked with both of them I ended up taking her home and that was just a total weird situation

Most Helpful Guy

  • Well, you nailed it: In modern casual parlance, yeah, he has a "cuckolding fetish".

    The bottom line is that you two have a sexual chemistry mismatch. For some couples, that's OK, but for most young couples, this is a major (and rightfully so) reason to break up.

    I want to be clear why:

    During sex, you should feel completely free to be you; completely at play and unjudged and uninhibited. Sex should be playtime, not work time. Good sexual chemistry means you are both having playtime.

    But, when there's a major sexual chemistry mismatch, this creates a problem because someone is not having playtime.

    In your situation, if you will capitulate to his desires, then he gets playtime, but it's not playtime for you. It's work time as you have to be an actor to please him.

    However, if you do not capitulate, then he will be unfulfilled. You _might_ be fulfilled with the straight one-on-one sex, but he is not because he really wants something else. Furthermore, you KNOW that he wants something else, so that's actually a bit distracting to you and your playtime isn't exactly playtime anymore.

    =======
    BOTTOM LINE:
    I am not telling you to break up with him but consider it. I think this all really boils down to is how important the cuckolding fantasy is to him.

Most Helpful Girls

  • You should do your best not to feel devalued because he wants this. He isn't asking to be with other women, so at least there's that saving grace.
    Peoples' sexual preferences and proclivities often run parallel (yet sometimes separately) from their emotional/romantic and more logical sides. It doesn't necessarily mean that you are less valued by him because he can share you.
    But you two are a mismatch. If you feel this opposed to it, really hurt by it, it's doubtful this will be a good idea. Both people have to want this. If you see red flags here, you won't feel comfortable then either, and it could cause more problems in your relationship. So it's your prerogative to say no.
    However, realize that if his desire for this, to include others, or have something new, is so strong that he will not put these desires aside, then your relationship may have an expiration date. He was honest with you, and took a massive risk, bringing it up with you. But now it's an elephant in the bedroom, so to speak. What to do about it now is unclear. That's obviously been you and him. But if one party says firmly 'no', the other must abide by that.
    P. S. Don't marry this man. He likely won't be sexually satisfied if you want monogamy for the rest of your life, and he doesn't.

  • You need to draw a line in the sand. You've told him no yet he still asks you.

    If he doesn't respect you enough to understand you're uncomfortable with that and doesn't let it be, then you need to find someone who is willing to respect you like that.

    • What does KB stand for?

    • @jaybee281 it's a secret

    • 😂😂

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What Girls & Guys Said

13 62

  • He has this kink. You don't. Either he accepts your limit and drops it, or you should end the relationship, because it means you aren't sexually compatible. That sucks, but you can't change him anymore than he can change you.

  • It’s his kink/fetish… Everyone at least has one, but this can be a dealbreaker for you two. He is persistent and you are saying it’s a big NO. He will have to accept the fact that you’re not willing to do this or you two will have to break up… You guys aren’t sexually compatible.
    Communicate with him about this more..

    • agreed

  • Leave him. You may well have doubt about him, all the time after this. You know he has a kink that is unacceptable to you. It won't change.

  • He needs to let it go, it's obviously not your thing. It may not be a "you're not special to him" thing though, but you'll have to talk to him to know what he feels. We can't do that for you.

  • Want to live with that doubt over your head the rest of your life?

  • In a relationship, there is Trust, Respect, Honesty and Communication.

    Tell him in no uncertain terms to respect you as a person, respect what you have said,

    if he is unable to respect this, then your relationship is dead, as he will constantly be harping on about it.

    Sit him down and talk to him, explain how much it hurts him saying this, how if he does not stop you are moving on.

    It does not matter what a persons kinks, fetishes are, if the other person does not give consent, they just do not happen, yes they can talk about it, however it comes down to informed consent.

    Be prepared to walk away

  • That’s a really tough situation. Having said that, you should only do what you’re comfortable with. He shouldn’t be guilting you into it. It’s possible that you two may reach a level someday where you may reconsider, but he shouldn’t think that you will. It’s important to communicate that to him and explain why, but make sure you validate his feelings. It’s a kink that he has and it’s a part of him. Being firm will send a strong message and he may be taken back quite a bit by it.

    There’s always ways to compromise though. You two will figure it out!

  • Sounds like he likes to be a cuck.

    Let's look at it from another perspective maybe he doesn't feel he can satisfy you as much as he wants and wants you to have sex with another guy to be fully satisfied. And in you getting satisfied he feels satisfied too. So with that in mind he does think your special in your own way.

    Now if your not comfortable doing what he wants (which is understandable) I think trying to find a way of mimicking what he wants, maybe a big mirror so he can watch what your doing together for a 3rd person feel.
    Or maybe filming things to watch back later.
    Or as a final option maybe a male sex doll or fucking machine so he can watch while you have fun without having to involve a 3rd party.

    Whatever you do he's going to have to compromise on what he actually wants.

  • If you don't want to -- then don't, case closed. The fact he brought it up to you is not a good sign. Sounds like he's out of his mind.

  • Sorry to say this, your boyfriend has a kink that he probably will never let go.
    So, options: 1 - ignore it and hope he finally gets it and never talks about it again (good luck).
    2 - You become the Dom in the relationship, keep him on a leash and his package in a cage, and you have the key. Plus you get to find studs, bulls, and men you can have sex with right in front of your man.
    3 - you dump his sorry ass and find a real man (one of the above) and move on.

    Good luck on this one, but you might need to change your plans with this guy.

  • Tell him if he can't respect your boundaries then the relationship doesn't have a future.

  • Whatever you do, don't go along with his disgusting kink. You're right to not like it. He has a problem. He doesn't realize it, and perhaps never will, but that's no reason to enable him.

  • Don’t do it. He can stay with you knowing that’s not going to happen, or he can end it and try to find a woman who is willing.

  • Tell him to either respect your wishes or you will find someone that does.
    It is really selfish of him to only care about what he wants.
    This is a huge thing he is asking, and if you ain't comfortable he needs to let it go

  • Leave him

  • Get rid of him. Your relationship has no future.

  • Don’t do it!!!

  • Leave. We all have sexual fantasies that we ACT out. But will not engage in because we are concerned about the repercussions it would have on our lives. Once we are willing to cross the line between fantasy and into reality, then things get serious. Your boyfriend obviously does not care about how this will impact you and such lack of care is telling about how little regard he has for you.

  • Well, from what I've seen, we have some kind of tech called, "Deepfake" where you can put your face on someone else's body and nobody would ever know the difference. Get a video of two people fucking and replace her head with yours and give that to him.

  • Do not compromise your values to please your boyfriends kinks. You need to have a very serious discussion with him on the boundaries of your relationship. But this is a huge red flag that will probably cause problems later.

  • Show More (55)

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Home >  Sexual Relationships  > My boyfriend wants to watch me sexually with another man. I've repeatedly told him no and that I'm completely uncomfortable with it. What should I do?