If a woman pokes holes in a condom or secretly stops the pill to get pregnant when a guy doesn't want a kid, should the guy have to pay child support?

[Anonymous]

[Aerissa_Jade]

Legally speaking, if he is the father he has to pay it. In my state, if a woman CHEATS and gets knocked up by the other guy, her husband still has to pay child support if he divorces her when he finds out she has been cheating and the child isn't his.

The laws are written in the best interest of the child first, to make sure they are taken care followed by the best interest of the state, or tax payer. Making someone pay, even if they are not the father, saves tax payers money.

I am one of the few that supports Roe V Wade for men as I've seen too many men ordered to pay child support who want nothing to do with the child BUT because they have to pay child support, they exercise their visitation rights every chance they get and emotionally harm the child. In one case the father said as long as he had to pay he was taking every legal visitation and when he got home, he put the kid in his room and ignored him the entire time.

Gave him toys and other things to play with, but now the child was away from his friends, alone, scared and felt abandoned and lonely.

In this case the mother refused visitation for at time and after a few months was held in concept and threatened to be put in jail and lose custody of the child unless she allowed visitation PLUS time to make up for what was missed.

Reporting him to the state, did little to remove those rights as he was doing the bare minimum of what was legally required. Child had clothing, food, water and that, just not a emotional connection and was ignored.

How damaging is that to a child? I'd say its too much and should never happen.

All he wanted was the mother to agree for him to give up parental rights, which would mean no visitation and no child support, she did not want to be eventually did for the best interest of the child and the child has been doing far far better since then.

So I agree they shouldn't have to, but it isn't how things are setup and likely never will be. If I am ever in that situation I'll let him give up rights, as my child will come first.

[Ez-Bri-Z]

Yep. It isn't the child's fault the mother is a conniving b*tch. That being said, the father absolutely should go after the mother to the fullest extent of the law if he can prove either happened. Pregnancy is always a possibility when having sex even when on birth control. It's a risk you take and by that alone, doesn't absolve him of his financial responsibility.

[AviatorTom]

IMHO... Yes, he's still required to pay child support. He knowingly had sex with the girl, and even though she misled him, he is still responsible for his actions.

It would be an interesting court case though. You never can tell how a court will rule.

[Leonharted]

"Should" doesn't enter the equation. Legally, you will. So don't have sex with someone that you don't trust with your life, because the next 18 years of your life is in their hands.

[Asker]

What i mean is: even though legally you have to, should this not be so?

[Leonharted]

It doesn't matter. "Should," is an irrelevant thing. It's sitting on a rocking chair, wasting time. Whatever conclusion anyone comes to about what should happen will not change what will happen.

[kyleelyn199723]

@asker yes it should be , because you not paying child support or seeing the child is only hurting the child in the end. The child is not at fault for her mothers selfishness

[Asker]

three questions: 1. What about the fact that "stealing" (men secretly removing condom) is seen as rape? She did consent to the sex. They say also say it puts her in danger of STDs but so does poking a hole in the condom. 2. There is in a lot of places the charge of "rape by deception" which is obtaining rape through deceptive means or fraud. Stealing is included in this definition yet poking holes in the condom is not. 3. In Canada, a man was charged and convicted for sexual assault (it was upheld in the supreme court) for poking holes in a condom. Yet, no woman in Canada has EVER been charged for this and the woman who the man did this to did not have to pay child support because the conception happened via sexual assault yet men always have to pay when this happens to them

[kyleelyn199723]

@asker you already copy and pasted that on my own comment. I’m not arguing about the same thing twice on two comments

[grega239]

@kyleelyn199723 but why does the man get punished for it?

[kyleelyn199723]

@grega329 punished for what? Having sex with a girl? Even if she did wrong, there was still a chance of her getting pregnant to begin with

[grega239]

@kyleelyn199723 because she obtained his genetic material without his knowledge or consent.

[Leonharted]

@grega239 I don't know why you guys are debating on my response, but since it's spamming me, fuck it: Because child support is not about the man or the woman. Child support is about ensuring the child is taken care of. And if you think that's bad, child support has been awarded to a babysitter who literally raped a teenage boy and went to prison because of it. Guess what? Their child still exists and needs resources to survive. If you don't want to roll the dice on child support, then don't have sex.

[kyleelyn199723]

@grega239 if you can’t prove that she poked holes, then that is an invalid argument, and also I am a girl that takes birth control. A girl can’t just “stop taking the pill” one day or even a week. She would need to with from the pill for from a month to basically up to a year, so this is where my argument stands is that is your fault for overly trusting a girl saying she’s on birth control without her proving first that she is actually taking the pills

[kyleelyn199723]

Withdrawal from the pill*

[grega239]

@kyleelyn199723 so its ok to steal sperm and enslaving a man for the next 20 years

[Leonharted]

@grega239 Please stop responding in my answer chain. I knew what you were up to when you asked, which is why I called you out.

[kyleelyn199723]

@grega239 my point is that one point you made can’t be proved and another point regarding birth control is the male is at fault for not sticking his dick in a woman before making sure she is actually taking her pills because you can’t just get pregnant from dropping the pill within a week or two.

[grega239]

And what am I up to?

[kyleelyn199723]

For sticking his dick in a woman before*

[Leonharted]

@grega239 A bullshit debate where you already made your mind up that its wrong and there is no way to get you to budge an inch. Nobody cares what you think "should" happen. All that matters is what DOES happen. Child support is NOT about punishing a man. That's alimony. Child support is you taking care of your kid. Doesn't matter whether you wanted the kid or not. It's here, it's alive, and it needs resources to continue living. If you do not want kids, do not have sex. Alternatively, get sterilized.

[grega239]

@kyleelyn199723 @leonharted final response. So kyleelyn let me get this straight. Its a mans fault when a woman is a piece of shit because he legally can't prove it. Ok... we're done here

[kyleelyn199723]

@grega239 did I ever say it’s the man’s fault for a woman’s actions? Can you point that out for me?

[grega239]

@kyleelyn199723 pm me if you want to carry this on

[kyleelyn199723]

@grega239 no thanks. You are just going to perpetuate emotional feelings on why you think your opinion is right instead of using logic and reason to see the big picture. I am all set. Have a great night

[kyleelyn199723]

Yes he would, because even though she did something screwed up he still consented to having sex with her , which there is always a chance of getting a woman pregnant from. I know girls that have done this before and it’s entirely fucked up , majority of them have their child a dead beat father because of their selfishness of wanting to trap a man to stay in a relationship with her, when in reality it doesn’t work that way.

[kyleelyn199723]

Gave their child*

[Asker]

three questions: 1. What about the fact that "stealing" (men secretly removing condom) is seen as rape? She did consent to the sex. They say also say it puts her in danger of STDs but so does poking a hole in the condom. 2. There is in a lot of places the charge of "rape by deception" which is obtaining rape through deceptive means or fraud. Stealing is included in this definition yet poking holes in the condom is not. 3. In Canada, a man was charged and convicted for sexual assault (it was upheld in the supreme court) for poking holes in a condom. Yet, no woman in Canada has EVER been charged for this and the woman who the man did this to did not have to pay child support because the conception happened via sexual assault yet men always have to pay when this happens to them

[kyleelyn199723]

@asker just because that argument holds up in a court of law one place, doesn’t mean it does in another. My question is how can they even prove that holes were poked verse the condom just breaking

[MrsTurkleton]

No…..

[NamerOfStars]

Should? Of course not. Will? Yes; that's what Hermesmann V Seyer, and the laws it inspired, were all about. It's what a slate of completely one-sided reproductive rights gets you.

[dustybiker]

Unfortunately these are things that would have to be proven in court.

[mark000h]

It's the chance you take having sex. Nothing is foolproof. Also, you're morally and legally responsible for the child

[Asker]

three questions: 1. What about the fact that "stealing" (men secretly removing condom) is seen as rape? She did consent to the sex. They say also say it puts her in danger of STDs but so does poking a hole in the condom. 2. There is in a lot of places the charge of "rape by deception" which is obtaining rape through deceptive means or fraud. Stealing is included in this definition yet poking holes in the condom is not. 3. In Canada, a man was charged and convicted for sexual assault (it was upheld in the supreme court) for poking holes in a condom. Yet, no woman in Canada has EVER been charged for this and the woman who the man did this to did not have to pay child support because the conception happened via sexual assault yet men always have to pay when this happens to them

[kyleelyn199723]

@asker stop copying and pasting the same questions over and over when someone admits that your logic is still wrong