Is it true that when you have kids you stop having sex?

I don't know I always hear this from people online. Statements like "Oh, enjoy it now cause once you have kids it all changes" or "You think the heat will last? Just wait until you have kids". Like is that really the case? Is it because you're too busy being a parent or is it because you start to fall out of love/ attraction with the person a little?

I don't know I don't want kids but I'm just curious.
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Nope. Not in the case of my girlfriend and I. We have three children and yet we have an amazing sex life.

    True, you have to think a little bit ahead sometimes and plan. For example, by pure chance, my girlfriend and I met around Valentine's Day and decided to move in together around the same time two years later.

    So, although we have decided not to be married, we treat it as our anniversary and we always plan a big "just the two of us" extended ( 3 or 4 days) weekend around that time. We take our children to Bumpa and Munga's (grandma and grandpa's) house and then we head out. Either to a weekend at a hotel in the city - we live in Washington, DC - or to a B&B on the Chesapeake Bay - and we just spend time, just us - and lots of sex.

    However, it is not just the special occasions. We have sex in the evenings or sometimes we will wake up before the kids do and have sex then. Sometimes, as we are both able to work from home, we will cheat and have sex while the kids are at school.

    Have the kids caught mommy and daddy? Well... a few times. Mumbled explanations to follow as we either take the youngest back to her room or the two older ones - both boys - are told to knock and go back to their rooms.

    Not going to tell you that things are not different when it was just us. (It also gets a little more complicated with my oldest - a teenage boy whom I just discovered a couple of years ago was my son. His mother got pregnant after we had a one night stand, but she decided not to tell me until just two years ago. Suffice to say, I try to have him stay with us as often as I can.)

    Put it all together and it is more complicated. However, the amount of sex my girlfriend and I have is not much different than before we were parents. The timing can be a bit more complicated, but the frequency is about the same.

  • I think it's obvious that having a little person to care for makes less time for the room. But my opinion if things really take a turn. I think it all depends on the partners. Sometimes girls loose all interest and oddly sometimes even guys. I have seen some mom's complaining their man hasn't touched them in over a year.

    From a woman's POV, if she looses interest it's usually because she's to focused on being a 'mom'. She now has a new life responsibility and it's 'only' that. Hubby can take a backseat. Some say hormones' play a role and they forever changed. But my feeling is they change because the woman has new beliefs.

    From a mans POV he sometimes sees the woman as "a mom", and his been taught "moms" are not sexual objects. So he looses that sexual interest, not love. But he also views the woman as a mom who needs to "be a mom".

    I think it's all quite complicated. But yeah, on average i'd say about 50% see a decline. From my personal experrience.

Most Helpful Girls

  • If you aren't putting forth a bit of extra effort it absolutely can be true. However, if it absolutely does NOT have to be true. When my husband and I first had kids we admittedly went through a pretty long dry spell. However, we both agreed the lack of sex was a big problem and that we needed to figure out how to fix it. After we did put forth the effort we actually found that being forced to become more creative in our sex life pushed us to figure things out that made sex way better then it was before. Ever since then my husband and I have been having frequent sex 2-4 times a week (and the sex is way better then it was before). We just have to be a lot quieter as to make sure the kids don't hear us. Haha
    Having a good sex life can take more effort after kids, but (based on my experience) it's absolutely do-able!

    • Thank you so much for sharing this, I am going through this and my husband doesn’t seem to have any libido problems. Need all the help I can get to spice things back up and get myself in the mood!

  • If this were ever completely the case, everyone would be an only child. There are people with 5, 10, 15 children out there, so sex is still happening. There is some truth to it though because right after having kid you aren't supposed to actually have sex for a good 2 months almost while the woman heals, and she can be super exhausted because she has to breastfeed her child at all hours of the day and night which doesn't really tend to put one in the mood. But I think as your young ones get back on some sort of sleep cycle, the parents get right back to doing what they're doing too because they have more energy. For a lot of people as soon as they get the okay, they are right back at it like bunnies, lol. It really just depends on your situation.

    • No not true at all. People have sex just to have children when they're married. Take some arranged marriages for example. But I'm talking about passionate sex just for sex and love sake. Not just sex to make kids.

    • I'm illustrating to you that if you want verification that human beings still indeed have sex after kids, literal proof is that more kids exist, other than that, how would you know? And to still answer your question, yes, of course, passionate sex exists after kids. If a couple wants a sex life that is fun and full of passion, both partners can do that and have that if they desire it. Kids don't automatically kill that for every single couple despite what probably the exact people not having sex after kids say. As per usual, it always depends on the specific circumstances of your sexual relationship with your partner.

    • I don't need verification that human beings still have sex after kids. That much was obvious coming from a family with 10 siblings lol. I'm talking about passionate, random sex. The heat, the lust. Not just sex to make kids.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Yes, its true. And here is the reason. Its the parents fault because they spend so much time, energy and money morphing their spawn into mini-me's that they cannot see anything else. The couple loses sight of why they are together in the first place. They essentially allow kids to destroy their marriage. This is why so many marriages were going strong until the couple (usually the woman) comes down with baby fever. Best decision my husband of 23/30 years ever made was not having kids.

  • I really hope thats not the case.

  • Nope you still have sex lol.

    you notice some families have more than one child, some have 5 or more.

    • I know you still have sex. But some people have sex just to create children. I'm talking about the passionate stuff. The one's for no reason at all just because you want them and love them

    • Yeah you still have sex, a lot of it tbh

  • Absolutely true, but also has to do with how much time has a couple been together. The more time they’ve been together, the less they’re interested in sex as something they look forward. Instead, it becomes a source of occasional pleasure and, more importantly, reaffirm a couple’s commitment to a marriage, family, or simply choosing to pay attention to one’s needs and primal instincts.

  • And this is why you are the boss of your body and this is why I no matter what no matter what the guy says no matter what the guy promises you do not have sex with anybody. Unless you're wearing a condom because otherwise you will find everything out just way too soon can you need to experience life first life is very beautiful thing kids are very beautiful thing but you have to be able to grow can you need space to do that and when you have a child it's hard to do who have fun being who you are enjoy life do crazy stuff experience Explorer that's one of the best times you'll have in your life is right now when you ready to settle down settle down but still be the boss of your body

  • It never happend to me. It has happend to some of my friends though. They'll complain that their woman wants nothing to do with them sexually and stuff like that. My wife still initiates and begs for it though... so I don't know.

  • of course it is not true. But you do have it much less. When my boys were born, each time it was probably 3 or 4 months before we started having sex again. and several months could pass in those first few years were we would not have sex. There is no more multiple times a week. Life changes, relationships change. You don't keep up the "sex pace" through a whole relationship. Once you are out of those early stages, it slows down, but it gets better.

  • Nah this is why you see families with a lot kids. If kids made it difficult everyone would only have one kid. From my experience sex only slowed down a little with the first kid since we didn't know how to manage our time good enough. With the third we were back to being naughty together 2 days after I gave birth so it's all about time management and having a good libido.

  • Noo, close doors and fuck

    https://www. girlsaskguys. com/trending-news/q4716254-what-mindset-personality-would-one-assume-of-a-person-girl-who-loves? utm_source=dynamic&utm_medium=androidapp&utm_campaign=question&utm_content=q4716254

  • No we have a 6 year old and still fuck as often as we can

  • In some cases it's true, when you have kid's some couples avoid sex or it happens one in a month or sometime more than a month.. The best way to quit from this situation wear something sexy in night like semi nude from breast or you know better your man is boob lover or what attract him most in your body...

  • Well it certainly hasn't hindered us in any way whatsoever... In fact at the present time we are actually trying for our second child.

    • @emmamary There was no emoji option to "love" this opinion.

    • @PrettyPriya ❤❤❤

    • Ouu congratulations and goodluck!!

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  • It's true if you're a dedicated parent for the first years. Babies come first and when they sleep, you sleep, and they get up pretty frequently the first few months.

    I remember walking around like a zombie not even thinking about sex during this time. After you can make it the full night, you might get your sex life back.

    I have to admit I was not as attracted to my then wife just after baby cane out. I got to watch all the labor, and it's a beautiful thing, but my attraction as a sexual creature was just not there. My provider and protector side was on full blast. It contributed to the divorce.

  • I still enjoy.

  • It happens but the relationship probably wasn't that good before the children.

  • My ex and I still had sex regularly, but we only had one kid. You have to kind of be quieter and leave the bedroom door open a bit so you can hear if the baby's crying.
    New parents are definitely more tired than most people, but the sex can still be good.
    It was fun when my wife would try to be quiet. I would purposely do everything she liked until she had to put a pillow cushion over her mouth to keep from screaming and waking the baby in the other room.

  • Yes it happens a lot , Kids can cause a lot of stress in a household , Especially when they are teenagers , The husband and wife usually butt heads and blame each other for their kids behavior , pointing fingers at each other saying it’s your fault why they are like this etc. A mother will usually devote all her time to the kids and pretty much exclude her husband and make excuses that she is to too tired or drained to even have sex. Leaving the husband feeling deprived and resentful towards his wife , usually when sex dies down in a relationship so does the relationship , Why I am happy my kids are older and I don’t want anymore kids , I been there and done it lol

  • I highly doubt it but you just have to be smarter mwhere and when you have sex.

  • My parents never do it anymore, but I don't think that really has anything to do with my siblings and I, more or so that my mom is constantly at work, my dad is a lazy sack of shit, and they never really loved each other in the first place. They kinda just had kids and just kind of stay with each other for "the sake of the children".

  • My then-wife and I had 3 kids, and still had sex, about as much as we did before kids, maybe slightly less often. The change is that it becomes less spontaneous and more scheduled... you have to work around the kids.

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