Can you have a great, long-lasting sex life with the same partner?

Question

Makeushiver · Accepted Answer

That's a difficult question for a couple of reason. The primary reason is that we want this to be the case because it endorses all of the prevalenmt opinions of romatic love. The psychology doesn't really back that up though. The first few months when you can't keep your hands off of each other is largeklty the result of learning about someone new. What turns her on, how far can that be pushed etc.

Unfortunately, the first thing we do in new relationships is to try to make the other party in our image. We want her to share our opinions, taste in music, film, art etc. both the infatuation and the unavoidable getting to know each other so well that the lust experienced initially can't keep up with the same intensity. That combined with the newness wearing off makes it difficult to keep the same level of intesity sexually impossible. A couple of decades ago their were qll kinds of books about "how to keep your marraige (or any long term relationship) fresh". It included ideas like ( in this situation the example was of one wage earner and one stay at home person - almost always assunmed to be the wife. Some suggestions were to "greet your husband at the door when he gets ghome dressed only in clear plastic wrap". This psychology never succeeded since it iverlooked the basic shift in positions from someone new who you wanted to explore qll kinds of new stuff to someone who you knew for sometime. Usually you can tell this shift when the spontaneity of button popping, panty tearing sex was replaced with the dreaded, "Honey, do you want to fool around". No amount of concious date night stuff can get that toothpaste back in tube. In the best cases the lust is replaced by a closeness that replaces and can surpass the benefits of the early days lust. There is rarely the chance of getting the excitement of newness back. This is the exact opposite that most romance novel writers or hollywood filmmakers portray. And along with other hoolywood fantasies like simultaneous orgasms and orgasms from every woman engaged in intercourse - is equally untrue. The falsity doiesn't seem to have any bearing on our belief systems. We are still in love with love. Romantic love is a concept that no one would have understood until the crusades where - in the south of aFrance where the concept of romantic love rose along with the idea of chivalry. That period had the perfect combination of ingredients for the development. Many lonely women were left behind in the seductive atmosphere of Avignon, Aix en Provence while their husbands went galloping off to the holy land where Chruistians and Moslems killed each other to prove who was holier and knights, esp. the second, third etc. sons of gentry had too much money & time on their hands. Since the two were rarely wedded the element of secrecy - always good kindling for romantic love- spnt their time jousting during the day and seducing during the evening. As many of these were doomed to be shiort lived as the husbands often did return from Damascus, Jerusalem etc. to their wives who they believed waiting faithfully for them at the last stop on the aorient Express, usually Southern France. Its also when chastity belts were invented

TheBigGuy9 · Accepted Answer

If you sincerely love one another, yes you can. Love comes from somewhere deep and will never go away.  Exercising helps tremendously. A creative mind too

Aerissa_Jade · Accepted Answer

I don't see why not, unless one of you is like must always do it on the bed the same way and never wants to change it up.

I think you both have to be on the same page though, if one of you is hyper-sexual (apparently that is me) and the other isn't, then that would/could be a problem.

I know lots of people that say quality over quantity is far better, that they'd rather a million times with the same person than a bunch of different people.

I agree quality is better for sure but do not have the experience that these people who've been married for years or decades have.

Brainsbeforebeauty · Accepted Answer

Yes you can.. I don't know why people think sex with a new person you don't know is better, more exciting than sex with someone that knows your body inside and out , your kinks, all the things and places that turn you on, and how to satisfy you... If sex with the same person gets boring, someone ain't doing something right... And can't always be blamed on just one person, after all it does take two to tango🤷🏼‍♀️

WhatTheHeckkkk · Answer

I sure as hell can.

Daniela1982 · Answer

Uhhh, isn't that what married couples have? At least the ones who know their partner a bit before having sex with them. Half these people don't marry because of love but because the sex is good. When that gets old they just cheat or get a divorce.

Lliam · Answer

Absolutely.

weysally · Answer

yes one can, our sex life is great, but exciting sex is a bit different with a new guy there is that little bit of mystery what's he like nude, what's he like in bed, what will he think of my body, its all there with a new guy

bigbluey · Answer

Not for me

RobT312 · Answer

Absolutely. 5 years sting and in a second of boredom

Red_Arrow · Answer

I did till her death. Pick the right partner and it lasts forever.

ohshee · Answer

Yes for sure. each and everyday we grow a d when your with someone you want to grow at the same levels and speed together. When I'm in a relationship I dont want to have the same sex twice I want her to feel something new everytime... you really do get out of it what you put in to it

ReneD13 · Answer

Absolutely, as long as you and your partner are communicating, needs, wants, and desires. I don't think you need to have sex with a different person to spice up your sex life, you and your partner can try different things and experiment. As with everything in a relationship though I think the communication is the key and you have to be willing and able to have those conversations and make sure you are both on board with your path forward.

StephBelsten · Answer

For sure!

summiter · Answer

I hope so cause I just got married a year ago! So far our sex life has been great.

dustybiker · Answer

100%. Yes. You find someone you click with, in addition to those warm and fuzzy feelings, there is nobody else.

Mandylynn · Answer

Yes I've found the longer you're with the person the more open about your sex life and try more things and let your freak flag fly easier

Valiqueen · Answer

Well yes. I'm a very sexual person. So I would like to believe I can

AndyOh · Answer

Sure, why not?
The tricks I have learned are... first off, communicate! A lot too. Be open to talking about sex and ideas and thoughts and dreams.
Second, have an open mind. You will find there are many fun and crazy things out there that couples can explore, but many are outside of the vanilla lines that most couples stay in.

FriendlyDrugDealer · Answer

90 percent of the time yeah we do

Jaximus-Lion · Answer

Am in my 12th year, so far so good. We had some dry times but it was due to emotional stress, sickness and losing people we loved and knew.

slatyb · Answer

Yes, you can.

Chris758 · Answer

Yeah, my ex-wife was hot and exactly my type. We broke up, but had sex right up until the end, and even several times after it was over.

Finchie40 · Answer

Yes if you are both in it for the long haul and value each other and stand by each other no matter what , remove selfishness for each other , these days it’s hard to find cuz so many people are selfish and think grass is greener on the other side , but when you find someone that values you like you value them that doesn’t want to leave your side you are best to hold on to them and give them the same , We as people can only give what we want to receive , If someone treats you like a convenience you are best to walk away and find someone that will fight for you like you fight for them , it won’t always be perfect , but if you both communicate with each other and come to a compromise it’s best to stay with that person that is willing to fix it before jumping in bed with someone else , If it feels like you are the only one trying to fix a relationship. Then it’s best for you to value your self worth and walk away and realize you. Deserve the same in return , I hate to say it but so many girls I have dated today are very selfish , they only really care about themselves , We can’t force someone to love us but we can try to guide them , if they choose selfishness over you then walk away

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