Need advince on my future?

[Batkoo0]

I am nearly30 years old man. I have been crossdressing since I was 15 years old (whenever I get the chance) and since then, I have desires for men, I like their d*cks mostly, but with time I started to like their bodies, arms, chest as well. I did one blowjob, when I was 19 and thats it. I loved it tho, hehe. In the same time I was and I am romantic person, kind, sweet and always dreamt of finding real love (with a woman), marry her and build a family with her. I have been with one woman, for 3 years, I loved her and we could be still together, but she found out about my desires for men and for wearing girl's clothes, thongs and etc and she left me. It have been 4 years since she left me and I am stilll doing nothing. I know that my sexual desires to women are strongly decrasing, being to none exactly and my sexual desires for men are becoming more stronger with each day. So, I wanted to ask, do you think I can start acting on my desires for men, being with men, dressing myself slutty and be the girl for the men and still having everything under control, I mean, not becoming fully on the gay side? I mean, because I want to do all these things, but I want to have a wife and kids someday, maybe it is because how I have been raised and thats why I want to have a wife and kids, but.. The truth is that I dont desire women in a sexual way at all now and it has been like that since my ex left me (she is the only one I have sex with). I do think I can love a woman, but nothing else. Its so confusing and I can't talk with my family and friends, because I dont want anyone to know about this. And in reality I am manly man (even tho on the inside I am a slutty girl..), so please, give me some advice, because I have a real problem with all of this..

[DonkeyDan]

I think the reality of finding a wonan that is only looking for a non sexual partner and one that is happy to take on a partner that is into same sex activities is slim.

Maybe someone who is the same as you in trems of them only wanting same sex activities but outwardly wanting to apear as if in a straight relationship to the outside world.

I'm not sure that having and raising kids in that kind of environment is very healthy though and is likely to be very psychologically damaging and confusing.

Honestly my best advice to you for you to actually be happy with yourself and your life is to embrace the fact that you are at least bisexual if not actually gay.

Pretending to be something you are not will only lead to you sadness, confliction and frustration. And using someone else to help you feel normal isn't really fair on them or you.

Have you ever considered speaking to a therapist about this, to help you deal with your feelings on the matter, you clearly have issues about coming out and I think you need to deal with that side of it.

[pleasestopthis]

I'm sorry but I don't think it's fair for a woman to get married to a man who doesn't desire her and only sleeps with her so she can birth his kids.
It seems you're trapped by the opinions of your close people and their expectations (be a man, be manly, don't be gay). If they love you, they'll eventually accept you for who you are, and the ones who don't, then it's their loss.

[HelpMeeeeeeee]

Be a man , right:)

[Flower7]

I’m really glad that you’ve opened your question to both guys and girls this time. You’ll get a larger amount of advice that way. And it does sound like you’re “fully” gay but that you feel guilty and embarrassed about it and don’t want to let down your family.

[CrazyGirl2]

My prior advice remains unchanged, I’m sorry but I literally have nothing to add to what I told you last time you asked in the forums, and also in my DM earlier today.

[SnakeBoop]

You're already gay.
This is simple stuff dude.

[Gwenhwyfar]

Find a guy who will accept you the way you are

[emperor90]

Be honest and explore

[billluc69]

I think you need to talk to her

[Anonymous]

Honestly I'm getting disgusted and sad about you when you die what will happen to your soul please... stop that regert it it's not okay i don't bully any race or diverse gender but that's not normal... in biology there are two gender a man and a woman.. what can I say.. try to stop that trash!!! Pity yourself u don't even see how clownfish and blind and stupid u doing!!!
Oh my god