Sexual Relationships
+1 y

Is there a secret hiding place for men that go beyond vanilla that I just don’t know about?

The last few partners I’ve had all seem to follow this same pattern. Once we are sexually involved, it starts off all sweet, not enough foreplay but whatever.. but after a good amount of time, all that sweet stuff gets really boring.
I am VERY upfront about what I want sexually. I also take A LOT of time to prepare for such things. (We’re talking lingerie, I’ve even fulfilled a prerequisite of cosplaying, studying the character and acting out okay, I’m dedicated) Now in the heat of the moment, If I’m on all fours and ask you to spank me.. I don’t understand how this all of a sudden turns into a “am I being trapped” awkward silence. Record player stops. DONE. ruined the mood scout.
it’s not always at that stage, but I mean it seems to stop there and we go no further.
My fear now, is that there is no one out there who can really satisfy my craving for rougher sex. Drilling your dick in me at a slightly faster pace is not rough XD
i have considered a few things. I am a smaller woman in height so I get a lot of “I don’t want to break you” I had one man tell me “I didn’t think you’d be into that kind of thing”.. I am polite, not prude, but also “spicy” 🤣 whatever that means.
Anyways! What do I have to do, other than draw my name in blood in a circle with candles to summon a man to even get rough with me and eventually dom me?
I find I get more responses like “oh umm wow” than “fuck yeah roleplay/hair pulling/sexual exploration” ugh why is the world so boring
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Superb Opinion

  • You don't realize it, but what you are doing is like assuming that all guys are musicians - when the majority have NO IDEA how to play an instrument - and then you are handing them a guitar or sitting them down in front of a piano and are asking them to play for you, and expecting a competent performance. That's just setting yourself up for disappointment - sure, you might occasionally get lucky and stumble across a guy who can play something, but you found him by accident.

    What you need to do instead is INTENTIONALLY look for men who are dominants and have some BDSM-type experience - not just doing BDSM things but also experience understanding the larger framework around it.

    The main place you're likely to do that is FetLife (dot com). It's not a dating site per se - not in the sense of Tinder or OK Cupid - it's a site for all aspects of that lifestyle. But you can use it to meet people who are already in that world and who "get you" and understand exactly what you're looking for, and are ready to give it. Again, not a dating app, so you'd need to invest some time and effort. Also, pandemic restrictions may be a problem, as normally most areas have local meet-ups called "munches" (because they're typically at a restaurant and you typically eat at them) where locals get to know each other.

    It's the equivalent of going to a musical college to look for musicians to date - you can pretty much count on the fact that the guys you meet there have some musical ability.

Most Helpful Guy

  • The best you can do is communicate with your partner and let him know exactly what you like. Society teaches guys to be gentlemen, to be chivalrous and loving towards women. It took my ex-wife a while to train me to pull her hair, bite her nipples and ass and fuck her hard. It was against everything I knew.

    • See, that makes sense.

    • Thanks. Yeah I thought I was the best lover because I was so careful and giving and sweet with her, but in reality she wanted me to be more selfish and aggressive. She liked a bit of pain and she wanted me to grab her hair when she sucked me and guide her head. She wanted me to grab her hips when she rode me and to control her movement. She wanted me to grab her by the hair and fuck her hard from behind for my own pleasure. Sometimes she wanted me to make love to her, and other times she wanted to be tied up and whipped, and fucked hard. Communication is important or I would've never understood what she wanted.

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 14

  • It’s not about being “boring” but rather about being respectful for a guy like me. When it comes to younger generations now days, sex is very misunderstood. It’s an act of expressing love, not a porn flick or some fantasy acted out from a scene in one of Hollywood’s demented movies. 30+ years ago, not many women would have tolerated what you are seeking because they had self respect and a high enough self esteem to know they weren’t an object.

  • Yeah, I don't know either... I mean if just sprang it on I might take step back... but if warned me then I would get into it. But you do understand that its not a common thing, and women don't tend to advertise it until.

  • Foreplay is the best part and a requirement.

  • Some of us hang out on FetLife.

  • You're dating average beta males, the hot, sadistic alphas with big Ds like me are out there looking for the hottest b-tches we can find, sexy faces, big tits, decent asses, etc.. so if you want to attract us alphas who will lay it on your little ass, you need to dress more provocatively and show off your cleavage. We will find you after that.

  • That’s crazy why blood What are you looking for

  • Listen i by all means was "vanilla" my girlfriend of 8 years who clearly i love put a finger in my ass 1 time. Then multiple. Now she hates me sexually beause im into exploring new things, i asked her to go shopping with me so i could buy a pair of panties or 2. I ordered dildos for myself and her, she's pegged me 3 times in 2 years. I've allowed pegging for 2 years. Fuck i even got confused if i was bi or not and realized im not in my eyes plus fuck labels. Id do a mmf or ffm id try anything 1 time

  • Do you need my #?

    • That’s a multi step process but possible

    • Follow me.

  • lol id spank you

  • Yea their are men out their who are into this, just gotta find them

    • I’ll remain hopeful

    • good lcuk

  • Have sex in your dungeon. So the things you ask seem mild compared to the rest of the machinery around.

    A lot of guys a nervous to rough you up because of the feminist movements, talking about prison time for guys.

    I guess you just have to find one who doesn't care an ex-convict maybe.

    Or let guys know in advance, have safewords and the general idea what might happen that night.

  • Haha, I wanted to try some things my ex was interested in, quite the slut that one, but we never got to the point where we had real sex before splitting.

  • Come sit on my face and see what you can find

  • ::::sigh:::: once you've worked for and and won a job and are now receiving a paycheck. There's no point in continuing to work for it. Especially when you're covering the minimum requirements and it would be more trouble than it's worth for management to replace you.

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