At what point in a relationship do you feel okay with having sex?

[OlderAndWiser]

My answer is D, but I don't suggest that everyone should do as I do; that's not going to happen. And everyone must do whatever makes them feel comfortable. And if it is a mistake, you've probably got to learn that on your own, by making your own mistakes. So. . . when you start a new relationship, at what point do you feel comfortable with having sex with your partner? And if you leave a comment, please comment on your current body count.

[Anonymous]

Voted A, and have done so. To me sex is natural and instinctual and if two people feel that need, then I don't see any reason why not if the other person is willing.

To be fair, I have had a few one night stands. In one case it resulted in my getting her pregnant and she only tracked me down to tell me that I had a son about two years ago. My is now 14 and we are building a great relationship, but I regret that I missed so much of his life and I wish his mom - who I still don't know that well - had told me at the time.

So you can't be too cavalier about sex, but it is healthy and natural and instinctive and I don't see why, if the other person wants sex too, it should not happen. Even in a first date.

In fact, my girlfriend, the love of my life, and I had sex on the first date. We moved in together two years later and now we have three children - and she and they make me the happiest man alive. (We don't want to be married. We had planned to, but we just got to feeling that an expensive ring, a big ceremony and a permission slip from the state would somehow cheapen what we have. Though in fairness, we have not really reconciled in our minds the religious aspect and so periodically we still briefly discuss marriage. Though without much enthusiasm.)

While I can understand why some people want to wait, for me sex is about satisfying basic animal needs and there is nothing wrong with that. It takes on more meaning, of course, when you have it with someone whom you are building a relationship or are in love with. However, that is, in a way, a different kind of sex and I don't mix that all up in my head.

[DiegoO]

Option 3. I can be ready, but from experience, I know it doesn't mean much if my date or partner isn't. Therefore, from what I've learned, time is irrelevant; the builded trust and the conection, is not.

[DiegoO]

Thanks for the MHO.

[PrettyPriya]

It is that emotional connect. That "look". It seems instinctive. Just a moment shared where you get that warm and fuzzy feeling.

This may be little sleep talking but that is my experience.

[PrettyPriya]

@olderandwiser Would love to hear your ever so sage advice and opinion. 😊

[OlderAndWiser]

In my experience, having sex very soon makes many people rush into a relationship which is a mistake. It always feels good physically but three weeks later we are wondering HITF did we get ourself in this position and feeling stupid abut what we did. Then we break up and our partner gets hurt and we end up feeling even worse. There have been a few exceptions but for the past 40 years, most of my sexual relationships have not started until we were committed to being exclusive and monogamous, and that may happen between 3-6 dates or 3-4 months.

[PrettyPriya]

@olderandwiser I was on the short side of your scale. Perhaps an exception to the rule as I am still madly in love and devoted after 5, approaching 6 months. Maybe we can say it is about that emotional connection? OR agree to disagree on it. I always respect your opinion on matters.

[OlderAndWiser]

I think we are describing the same point in different ways.

[PrettyPriya]

Perhaps. So long as you are with the one you love, not sure it matters how you describe it. Cheers, good friend! 😊

[PrettyPriya]

@olderandwiser Thank you kindly for MHO! ❤️

[WhatTheHeckkkk]

D, once we have a committed exclusive relationship. But it depends, even after being exclusive, I want to wait a while.

[katiesmuff]

I had no problem spreading my legs on first date on most cases.

[Jaximus-Lion]

I think we were similar, D. We waited and we were certain about us, plus we were both virgins, automatic extra caution 🤣

[RedBullRacingLemia]

It verys on the relationship.

[Citizenkirk]

Too many unknown variables too give a constructive answer too.

[t-8900]

When she has a claim on my heart. If we just said exclusive that could mean any date since I make it clear from day 1 we are exclusive or I'm out.

[Gwenhwyfar]

I voted D

[Dontaaaa]

For me it's pretty much once we're dating.

In my history, I've only dated girls that I was already friends with for quite some time, so we already know each other and feel comfortable with each other well enough to have sex and stuff.

My friendships with women just sometimes goes to the next stage if feelings are mutual.

[mike5150]

Either C or D. I am going too be honest when I was younger I tried doing the first two but I have problems feeling comfortable unless I know there person very well and feel like were commited to one another.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

I'm a guy who is waiting for wedding night

[exitseven]

I used to think I would wait until I was in a committed relationship but if I was dating again I would choose C. I woukdl not want to wait until we were in a committed relationship.

[Alyssa_11]

After we have been together for a few months and I feel 100% secure in the relationship. He has never made me doubt where I stand in his life.

Yup that's yet to happen and that's why I am still a virgin.

[Jamie05rhs]

I bet you've probably dodged a lot of bullets, though.

[cookiecrusher]

I met my wife when she was 25, also a virgin, similar values times 2. Can happen, however, don't just sit around waiting, look for that too, increase you odds of not ending up alone.

[Alyssa_11]

@Jamie05rhs I definitely have lol.

[Alyssa_11]

@cookiecrusher Hopefully

[Kabluie]

first date if sparks fly, can be not too long after depending on situation.

[Jelley007]

D for sure for me.

[Nikki1989]

If I really like the guy, I want sex as soon as possible.

[888theGreat]

nymph

[Browneye57]

Before I meet her. LOL

[Redstang88]

I’d be fine with it on the first date, don’t expect it though. If we’re not there in a month I’d really question if she’s a match

[Massageman]

F. I'm funny like that

[douride2]

I voted D.

[DaveToo]

When she is ready.

[AndrésC64]

After a couple of dates. Although I wouldn't be opposed to first date depending on what I was looking for from the relationship.