Sexual Relationships
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I regret a one night stand, Does he think I’m a slut?

I had a one night stand, just happened randomly and I initiated it off of some dating site. I was going through depression and did it out of hate and hurt. I regretted it immensely, I cried and texted him later saying I was so upset and had been crying for a week. I have never done this before and this is the second guy I ever did anything with. I told him I wish it never happened and that I felt used and disgusted with what happened and myself. My heart has been hurting and I keep crying about it and I wish it never happened. It seemed he understood and said he didn’t think I was some slut and that sorry he made me feel this way. Is he being genuine or does he think I’m some slut and is lying about it, he keeps saying I can text him anytime.
0 2

Superb Opinion

  • If this guy was a one-night stand, then when that one night with him is over, so is your "relationship" with him. That's how it works. You're all caught up with how HE feels as if you were going to have an ongoing relationship with him - as if you were in a committed relationship with him in the first place - but that's not how ONSs work. What he thinks about you is irrelevant - you are done with him regardless.

    I completely agree with @kyleelyn199723 that you are trying to make this about him, but it's not about him, it's about you. You need to own the decision you made to have a ONS with this guy, and instead of talking to the guy or worrying about what he thinks - because it's too late for that now anyway - you need to look in the mirror and think about your own decision-making process and how that made you feel, and then you need to take personal responsibility for that decision. You feel bad now, because of a decision that YOU made. I'm not saying that to make you feel worse, I'm saying it so that you connect your decisions/actions with this pain, so that you learn not to repeat this mistake. Not repeating the mistake is the key take-away here. You've learned that you aren't capable of having casual sex without feeling bad about it, so don't do that again.

    But, also, quit focusing on the guy, as if he has responsibility for something here. He doesn't - the responsibility is yours, so take ownership of it and leave him alone. You don't get to go back and try to convince him how to feel about you after the fact - life doesn't work that way. Deal with how YOU feel, and accept that you don't have control over the way anyone else feels. Your choices have consequences and you don't get to take them back - you have to learn to live with them, and going forward, keep in mind that the way negative consequences are avoided is by making good decisions in the first place. Making bad decisions first and then trying to "manage" other people's reactions is pointless and futile - it doesn't work.

    Again, I'm not trying to be mean or to make you feel bad - but if you avoid taking ownership of your own actions, then you'll never learn from your mistakes, and you'll just keep repeating them, and then you'll feel worse, which will make you make worse decisions, and it will be a downward spiral. If, instead, you say "I did this. It was a mistake, and it made me feel bad, and I don't want to feel that way, so I'm not going to do that again," then you will have learned a lesson that will improve your life in the long run and help avoid future pain.

    • I regret ever doing what I did. I regret going against my beliefs and hurting myself. I regret being disappointed. I told him I didn’t want to ever see him after that and I wish this never happened. I said that to him out of shame and regret. I than texted him a week later saying that I was hurt and had been crying all week and I wish I never did what I did and that I wasn’t some slut. He said he didn’t think I was crazy and that he was sorry that I felt that way and that he didn’t think I was some slut and that he respected me. I didn’t believe him, he said I could text him anytime if I wanted to talk or vent. I texted him the next night just trying to talk and we talked for a bit and I said does he regret it. And he said he regretted not getting to know me first and that it was awkward for him and that he was nervous. He ended it with saying that again I could call and text anytime. He also would reply to me instantly everything I ever texted him, but he never initiated the text. Than I let my emotions get the best of me and I had texted him some pretty mean stuff because I was still angry at myself and he would say he was sorry and that he didn’t know what he did and that he was telling the truth about everything. He never once called me any names back or said anything mean to me. I said I wanted to pick my stuff up at his house because I had left my vest and earrings. I texted him at night and said I was grabbing my stuff he instantly replied and said he’d be right out to give it to me, I didn’t want to see him so I hid in my car, and he waited for a little while outside until he realized I wasn’t coming to get it from him so he hung it on his bush and I grabbed it from him it when he went back inside. He texted me saying that he had put my earrings in the pocket.

    • I will never do this again. Most sluts don’t cry and regret this and tell the guy the next week how horrible they have felt and wish they could take it all back. I had no friends at the time and he was the only one I could talk to and I wanted to know if he had felt the same too

    • You sound like a fucking young drama queen God I would have blocked your fucking number right away

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I wouldn't think so, and especially now with your reaction and how you feel. But just some advice if you like him and/or care about him at all, or want to keep seeing him, make sure he understands what you regret exactly. Meaning reverse this for a second, if it were him that was upset, you'd probably take it personally right? That he maybe regretted being with you, and not just the sex part of it. And what has you so upset? Is it him? Or simply fear of what he (or others) might think? Did you go against your beliefs or something? Because if you enjoyed it at the time, there's nothing "bad" about it and you shouldn't feel so bad. Just my personal opinion. But it sounds like he's trying to be supportive, and I'm sure he means it, but at the same time, it's human nature to take this a bit personally as well. So if it's not about him, make sure he knows that.

    • And for what it's worth, I don't believe in "sluts". It's a word that shouldn't ever be used (and you'll notice that it's often other women using this word towards each other, not so much guys). I've had sex on the first meeting before, and if you both feel comfortable, there's nothing wrong with that. And it doesn't change what I want or my opinion of her. In fact, in my case, it's only made me want her MORE!

    • I regret ever doing what I did. I regret going against my beliefs and hurting myself. I regret being disappointed. I told him I didn’t want to ever see him after that and I wish this never happened. I said that to him out of shame and regret. I than texted him a week later saying that I was hurt and had been crying all week and I wish I never did what I did and that I wasn’t some slut. He said he didn’t think I was crazy and that he was sorry that I felt that way and that he didn’t think I was some slut and that he respected me. I didn’t believe him, he said I could text him anytime if I wanted to talk or vent. I texted him the next night just trying to talk and we talked for a bit and I said does he regret it. And he said he regretted not getting to know me first and that it was awkward for him and that he was nervous. He ended it with saying that again I could call and text anytime. He also would reply to me instantly everything I ever texted him, but he never initiated the text. Than I let my emotions get the best of me and I had texted him some pretty mean stuff because I was still angry at myself and he would say he was sorry and that he didn’t know what he did and that he was telling the truth about everything. He never once called me any names back or said anything mean to me. I said I wanted to pick my stuff up at his house because I had left my vest and earrings. I texted him at night and said I was grabbing my stuff he instantly replied and said he’d be right out to give it to me, I didn’t want to see him so I hid in my car, and he waited for a little while outside until he realized I wasn’t coming to get it from him so he hung it on his bush and I grabbed it from him it when he went back inside. He texted me saying that he had put my earrings in the pockets.

    • I understand what I did wrong and I will never do it again, I just felt so bad that I got angry and at him and myself and I felt he wasn’t being genuine because I felt like if what I did was so bad than he must have felt the same too

Most Helpful Girls

  • A slut is promiscuous as a lifestyle choice. Everyone has done something sexually that was reckless at one time or another and maybe regretted it later. It’s called a mistake. They happen because we’re flawed beings. You recognize why it happened, so you learn from that and move on. You’re being far too hard on yourself. As for this guy, if he expressed sorrow for how you felt and offered to stay in touch, it may well have been genuine. Guys view sex differently than women do so I’d take him at his word unless he gives you reasons not to.

  • Who knows how he really feels. Honestly there’s no reason to feel this way and you shouldn’t be throwing a pitty party over this. You are an adult and you should be able to figure out and learn from experiences and move forward. If anything you are honestly just making yourself look like a mental basket case for this guy. He isn’t responsible for your regret.

    • People are allowed to feel, people are allowed to hurt. And people are allowed to mourn. I have never done something like that and I felt empty and I had saved myself until 25, please

    • Of course you are, but your mourning is not this guys responsibility. He is a great guy for even sticking around for that convo. At 25, you should be able to decide and evaluate mistakes made on your own, and not guilt anyone for your life choices

    • If he thinks I’m some slut than good for him, most sluts don’t cry and regret a one night stands.

    • Show All

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 24

  • I'm drunk.
    Just get a boyfriend, you get more sex and love that way.

    • Don’t reply then

    • Hsy, drunk people have rights too. I'm serious, get a relationship or you're just gonna get syphilis.

  • If he is a 'boy', you are a SLUT. If he is a MAN you are just a woman that enjoyed a random sexual affair.

  • He sounds like a decent guy. And you're not a slut.

  • Doubtful but did you give him head and where did he come at

    • No I didn’t give him head and he came on my stomach without my consent actually

    • At least he came on your stomach and not inside you or any of that or on your face. So the two of you just had sex did he go down on you at least. That's something that I definitely love to do with the girls go down on her I like to give her that pleasure and then have sex doesn't happen in that order all the time but it's enjoyable. Why didn't you give him head

    • Fuck off, it was all bad and awkward, go be creepy somewheres else

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  • It sounds like he is trying to forgive you. Let yourself off the hook a little on this. Just learn from the experience.

  • Everyone has done things they regret. It's part of being human. Try not to worry about things you can't change and learn from them as you move forward with your life.

  • Hell no..

    Guys usually don't think or judge girl thinking she is slut...
    However it's girls who shame other girls saying.. She is a slut

  • The worst case scenario is he might be slightly put off by your emotional texts. I'm sure he doesn't think you're a slut. However, if you don't feel comfortable sleeping around, I wouldn't recommend doing it.

    • I will never do that again, it has scarred me for life and I will never let my loneliness and anger make me do something so wrong. I am an emotional person and I feel things deeply, sorry about that

    • You don’t have to be sorry for having deep emotions. It’s perfectly valid.

  • no it'll be fine, he seems nice

    guys won't automatically think you're a slut for hooking up

    • I regret ever doing what I did. I regret going against my beliefs and hurting myself. I regret being disappointed. I told him I didn’t want to ever see him after that and I wish this never happened. I said that to him out of shame and regret. I than texted him a week later saying that I was hurt and had been crying all week and I wish I never did what I did and that I wasn’t some slut. He said he didn’t think I was crazy and that he was sorry that I felt that way and that he didn’t think I was some slut and that he respected me. I didn’t believe him, he said I could text him anytime if I wanted to talk or vent. I texted him the next night just trying to talk and we talked for a bit and I said does he regret it. And he said he regretted not getting to know me first and that it was awkward for him and that he was nervous. He ended it with saying that again I could call and text anytime. He also would reply to me instantly everything I ever texted him, but he never initiated the text. Than I let my emotions get the best of me and I had texted him some pretty mean stuff because I was still angry at myself and he would say he was sorry and that he didn’t know what he did and that he was telling the truth about everything. He never once called me any names back or said anything mean to me. I said I wanted to pick my stuff up at his house because I had left my vest and earrings. I texted him at night and said I was grabbing my stuff he instantly replied and said he’d be right out to give it to me, I didn’t want to see him so I hid in my car, and he waited for a little while outside until he realized I wasn’t coming to get it from him so he hung it on his bush and I grabbed it from him it when he went back inside. He texted me saying that he had put my earrings in the pocket.

  • guys don't automatically think of you as a slut if you have a one night stand witht hem. we're all in the same boat. life sucks sometimes. and most guys wouldn't have one night stands, if they could choose. we're all humans with needs in an imperfect world. it is what it is. i think it takes more to be a slut.

  • What's done is done so let him think what he wants and just never let it happen again.

  • Well you are a slut if you have one night stands in my opinion

    • Thanks for making me feel worse

    • No problem

    • I felt horrible, it was against my beliefs. I cried and cried and deeply regretted ever doing something so horrible. I don’t think sluts think twice or regret this stuff. I will heal and get over this but thanks

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  • Talk with him. but Don't live together to avoid sex quickly

  • I would too. In fact I have regretted a one night stand. He probably does

    • I regret ever doing what I did. I regret going against my beliefs and hurting myself. I regret being disappointed. I told him I didn’t want to ever see him after that and I wish this never happened. I said that to him out of shame and regret. I than texted him a week later saying that I was hurt and had been crying all week and I wish I never did what I did and that I wasn’t some slut. He said he didn’t think I was crazy and that he was sorry that I felt that way and that he didn’t think I was some slut and that he respected me. I didn’t believe him, he said I could text him anytime if I wanted to talk or vent. I texted him the next night just trying to talk and we talked for a bit and I said does he regret it. And he said he regretted not getting to know me first and that it was awkward for him and that he was nervous. He ended it with saying that again I could call and text anytime. He also would reply to me instantly everything I ever texted him, but he never initiated the text. Than I let my emotions get the best of me and I had texted him some pretty mean stuff because I was still angry at myself and he would say he was sorry and that he didn’t know what he did and that he was telling the truth about everything. He never once called me any names back or said anything mean to me. I said I wanted to pick my stuff up at his house because I had left my vest and earrings. I texted him at night and said I was grabbing my stuff he instantly replied and said he’d be right out to give it to me, I didn’t want to see him so I hid in my car, and he waited for a little while outside until he realized I wasn’t coming to get it from him so he hung it on his bush and I grabbed it from him it when he went back inside. He texted me saying that he had put my earrings in the pocket

    • I don’t think most sluts call up the guy a week later and say how horrible they feel and how upset they have been. Most sluts walk away unhinged. He was being sweet, like holding my hand kissing me on the forehead and saying how beautiful I was. I had no friends to talk to so I wanted to reach out and see if he felt bad to because he had never done that before too

  • Nothing about having a one night stand makes you a slut. He may have felt a genuine connection ( sexually and non sexually) and wants to spend more time with you

  • Why blame him?

    • Omg read the question you people are mad

    • He said he didn't. He wouldn't even question it if you didn't freak out so much. But now I bet he ghosts your crazy ass.

    • I blocked him

    • Show All

  • He might think your a Slut or just using him if you don't want to see him again, So the balls in your court.

    • I said I didn’t want to see him because I was ashamed of what I did.

    • Well if you like him then you are only making him dislike you more.

  • ask him.

    • I did, it says in the description

    • I wanted to know if he’s being genuine or if he’s a liar,

    • no good way to tell ahead of time.

  • With the little context I have, I'd say he's being honest, if he was a jerk he would have already disappeared.

    • Thanks for an honest answer

    • Sure, yw, don't be too hard on yourself, we all make mistakes, just learn from it. And by the way, I'm not saying ONSs are bad, but if you feel that way, just don't do it in the future. It's just one more experience in your life.

  • If u regret, u shouldn't do thst one more
    Dont worry, as a human we do mistakes snd learn from them

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