Sexual Relationships
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What should I do in a situation like this?

I have been forced to perform oral. I have had guys make threats about what they want to do to me. I've had guys only look at me one way. All of this has completely turned me off when looking for the right guy. I'm almost 18, so I know I'm still young. I've heard the saying, "but there's many years ahead of you", but it doesn't change the fact that I have been stuffed over. It wasn't too long ago where I wanted to "wait" for the special one, and keep that intimacy with that one person. But now all I want to do is lose my virginity to a random. But not stop at that, but keep on persuing it with different men. I struggle in relationships and desire just to go out and sleep with as many people as I can. What should I do? Advice please?
0 1

Superb Opinion

  • Do not let anyone force you to do anything you do not want to do.

    If you decide you do want to go with whoever to have lots of sex, just realize that could make it hard (not a guarantee) to find someone special later. As there will be plenty of guys who will see you only as good for sex and not a long term relationship due to you sexual past.

    I get it though, wanting to have lots of sex with lots of guys. I did the same thing for a time and it has made it so I've gone through relationships, a lot of them.

Most Helpful Guys

  • Forced? I think I agree with some others that say you might need some professional help or support group? If you've been raped, might have some feelings and things you HAVE to work though, and maybe is what's causing these feelings your having now? You have to figure out what the real reason and cause for these feelings are? Chances are if you proceed down this path, you are not only unlikely to feel "better", but probably worse (unfulfilled) and maybe even hate yourself for doing it after? It's one thing if you just wanted to have some fun and enjoy sex, but this doesn't sound like that at all. It also doesn't sound like who you really are as a person, which means something is causing those feelings and you have to figure out what that is, and fix that to "feel better". Sleeping with a bunch of randos is likely just going to make you feel much worse.

  • First of all, none of what these guys have attempted or done with you is right or correct. Those are demeaning acts and counterfeit to true sexual contact done out of love. These guys don’t represent all guys nor are they good and decent guys.

    You are “under 18” and therefore I caution you to try and enjoy some more childhood. No one should be engaging or threatening to engage with you sexually under any circumstances. It is unlawful and wrong.

    Lastly, don’t ever give up on finding a good guy. Your value is worth more than just any guy who will only see and use you as a doormat. Expect respect and do not short yourself of true love from the right guy who can eventually come along and will love, cherish, and treat you as you absolutely deserve. Good luck sister. Keep your head up and don’t give up on decency.

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 13

  • If you are being forced to perform oral sex, that is statutory rape, as well as corruption of a minor!! You have every right to say "NO!!!". As far as the rest of your post goes, you need to discipline yourself to where you will no longer be desiring these "cravings". Constantly keep your mind preoccupied, and over time these thoughts will subside. If they don't I would seek help from a Counselor or Therapist.

  • run and scream

  • Until you are able to address the trauma of sexual assault, the absolute worst thing you could do would be to go out and have self-destructive sex out of a sense of hopelessness or cynicism. You need to find healing if at all possible and there are resources to which you may turn for help. An abuse hotline, a trusted relative, or a good friend are potential places to start.

  • Talk to a therapist.

  • If all you want is one night stand sex, you need to have pretty low standards. I wouldn't recommend it, because quite often you will be sleeping alone and without sex. Fact is, people who pursue this route have less sex than those that go the relationship route, although it may take longer to start a relationship.

  • How did guys force you into oral sex? Gun? Knife?

  • I would talk to a therapist, it sounds like there is some trauma you need to process

  • been forced into do anything against your will is an assault

  • Maybe you should seek some counseling

  • not sure why you are relying on guys

    when Christ is at the door

  • The problem is women sleep around in their younger years and then want to find a guy when they are older. But then they have a history and good guys don't like that. So you can have fun having sex but it ruins your chances of finding love later in life.

  • Report those who forced you to the police. That is rape.

  • Don't let others actions or your past determine your future. I was forced to perform oral on my uncle for years. I forgive him and try to see the bright side. But I'm not letting that own me

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