Should I continue waiting until marriage? Is this good advice? Am I correct in my assertion? Do less mature men have sex the most often?

[WhiteBoyChill]

So obviously like any other guy I still wonder about sex on occassion.

But I’ve heard from a close friend (who had pre-marital sex himself) that it is better to wait.

He regrets his decision.

He says that sex is not all you make it out to be in your mind.

He says that having it with multiple women cheapens its value.

Anyways, I can kind of see the argument to be honest.

Maybe it is best that I continue waiting.

I suspect I’d just have to wait probably around six or seven more years.

I am a fairly attractive male and my confidence has improved.

So I’d say it’s highly unlikely I’d be a 40 year old virgin.

Worst case scenario I become consumed with work and I end up meeting my life partner in my 30’s.

Either way if I became busy with work I’d still be developing as a person and I wouldn’t be thinking about all the sex that I missed out on.

At the end of the day I just feel that while for certain people sex is the greatest thing known to mankind, I’d rather share that moment with someone truly special

I feel like I’m just more focused on my dreams and aspirations in life than I am with cheap material pleasures.

I’m not saying sex isn’t enjoyable, I’m only saying that I tend to have other things on my mind far more often.

I just feel as though the guys I been noticing who have sex the most often in college, also tend to be the most immature in other areas of life.

A lot of them seem to being doing very poorly in terms of academics. They don’t seem capable of providing for a woman in the future.

But am I correct in this assertion?

To me it’s almost as if guys who want sex all the time just don’t have their priorities in the right places.

But I understand that every guy still has the natural curiosity of wanting his penis to explore a girl’s lady parts as I think about it myself every once in a while.

[RearEntryGuy]

Waiting.

There are many reasons why people wait. Some are

1) religious reason

2) upbringing (not necessarily religious)

3) training ones endurance and prioritizing pursuits of life, like you.

4) statistics shown that the probability of divorce is proportional to body count.

5) cannot find a sex partner

Etc

===

Not waiting is a growing trend because liberals are very loud on the medias and sex has be over over overrated.

That which was traditionally scorn upon (promiscuity) is now celebrated.

In fact, virgins are viewed as "strange", even scorned upon.

===

Maturity

Since promiscuity and liberal thinking starts around the 1990s, where the then teens to 30s started to explore premarital sex,

these are now parents in their 50s to 70s.

This means many promiscuous could be family heads and wives of teen or older kids.

Thus we cannot say these are immature, should they found happiness since their promiscuous past and the kids were part of the "accidents".

I'm not saying all are happy. I'm just saying maturity and promiscuity cannot be mixed in a statement of conversation.

===

To conclude, stay conservative or otherwise is your choice. If you prefer to establish your career first, then go ahead. If you choose otherwise, we respect also.

After all, knowing what you want in life is true manifestation of maturity.

[Effably]

That was a little infuriatingly spaced to read.
But to simplify it all: Of course a first time is a more novel experience. That one is hard to argue against.

It has very little impact on anything but that singular memory. And an awkward but fond first isn't neccessarily better than a mindblowing fifth.

Ultimately it is just how important that experience is to you. If you picture the intimacy of a first kiss combined with the high of a good rollercoaster that is about what to expect. It isn't some earthshatteringly good mythical experience but it is a pretty great one.

I feel it is highly overrated. It is special. It is a fond memory. It is not something I feel me and a new partner can't outperform or do without.

[Aurora1010]

I feel the same way about many points you made, and I think your friend was right... sex has more value with the right person, I am waiting too.

[BestWoman]

I'm waiting, the right person will appear after I get married.

[OlderAndWiser]

There are men who can balance developing a sexual relationship and maintaining academic standing or developing in their career. But it doesn't matter what other people can or cannot do. You must do what feels right for you.

[WhiteBoyChill]

I agree bro. I’m just saying the guys I know who place high priority on sex generally tend to be behind in other areas

[OlderAndWiser]

A mature man knows how to find balance in his life.

[WhiteBoyChill]

I can agree with that.

[slatyb]

Seems very silly to me. Sexual compatibility is very important, and it's not automatic. At the very least, before marrying you need to have detailed discussions about your future sex life -- what you imagine, your partner imagines.

[Amg147]

Yes, wait.

[Exterminatore]

No. Less mature men don’t have less sex. However God says you should wait until marriage.



“For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication: that every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honour; not in the lust of concupiscence, even as the Gentiles which know not God:”
‭‭1 Thessalonians‬ ‭4:3-5‬ ‭KJV‬‬

[WhiteBoyChill]

Nah but so many dudes dont so I wonder if I’m doing the right thing

[Exterminatore]

Waiting until marriage is what God commands. Yes, nobody does this anymore. Literally no one. None the less scripture doesn’t change to match the culture or the times. I hate to be the bearer of bad news here. There is option B. You could find a good Christian girl, get married and have all the sex you want. In fact scripture commands the married to have sex…literally as often as they want or need it…for either partner. So no sex before marriage, after marriage have all you want you’re commanded to.

[Exterminatore]

“The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband.” ‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭7:3‬ ‭ESV‬‬

[WhiteBoyChill]

Hopefully I’ll thank myself later for waiting

[Exterminatore]

Perhaps. I’d find it a silly reason to end up in Hell. Should you die in your sin that’s where you or anyone who dies in their sin goes. One who knows fornication is wrong, but does it anyway would be an unrepentant sinner and is on the road to Hell until they repent. If they don’t, then they die in their sin and to the furnace they go. You don’t want that. I don’t want that. You will thank yourself for not putting yourself in the boat or catching a social disease or knocking up someone you don’t want to or the myriad of other things that accompany fornication. I used to fornicate regularly. Was it fun? Yeah. Was it enjoyable? Yeah. Do I regret it? Absolutely.

[WhiteBoyChill]

Now its interesting man. Because of all the people I know who regret it they seem to have a lot in common with me

[Exterminatore]

When you get older your hormones will settle down a bit and you’ll be able to think more clearly. At that point, when deeply thinking about sex and God’s rules for it you can see it’s something that is not meant to be done with many people but rather only one. Your wife. When I was 14, 19, 24, even 30 I could not see it that way. In a few months I’ll be 45. I do see it that way now. I see my lack of self control when I was younger. I see that it was not right that I did that and I did it a lot. A real lot. So I guess I will unfortunately have much to give an account to Christ for. Save yourself that trouble. Get married and have all the sex you want with your wife.

[WhiteBoyChill]

And is it true that having sex before marriage cheapens its value? Like do you agree with my friend’s advice?

[awkward_author]

If you want to wait until marriage, go for it. To answer your other question, thinking about sex more often doesn't mean you're less mature than someone who doesn't. This topic is related to sex drive, rather than intelligence and maturity.

[dudeinohio]

Do not wait. You always must try it before you buy it to make sure you are sexually compatible.

[007kingifrit]

women up to a certain age confuse arrogance for confidence and thus will select immature men... this flips around 21 or 20.

i think you're using this as an excuse to not get out there and talk to women

[WhiteBoyChill]

I actually have been still talking to women.

[Twalli]

I agree that you should have sex only after forming a deep connection. However, to me, sexual compatibility is part of my qualifications for marriage. I don't have it early in a relationship, but I wouldn't propose before having sex with a girl.

[Anonymous]

It's not maturity (in general, not the guys that want to sleep with as many women as possible in college lol), but a person's beliefs. Do what you believe in. Personally I think it's a mistake to wait for marriage because sexual compatibility is very important and part of getting to know them and if the relationship is right. It's something I think a lot of people don't take seriously because it's about sex (especially women), unless it involves waiting then it's serious lol. You don't want to find out once you're married that you're not compatible. It creates a lot of issues, and can even lead to divorce (a lot of women get extremely unsatisfied because they didn't find this out before marriage).