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I have bad trust issues from an ex and so many people made them worse. How do I heal?

Anonymous


It took me a few years to even accept that my ex used me for sex. For a long time I couldn’t even admit it to myself. I was in denial. I had this idea of him and in my mind he wasn’t some pervert. He was too handsome to even NEED to use me. Or if not that he was just not that low of a person. In my mind, it was impossible to accept. But I developed a bad fear of people trying to use me for my body.
I have been single for 3 years. I tried to correct my way of thinking-so as not to blame my ex. Everything between us was consensual and he never ever forced me to do anything but his his manipulation and the fact that he led me to believe he loved me did some major damage.
well I know better now. I accept what happened between us. I haven’t had sex since I was with my ex 3 years ago and to this day he is the only man I have ever been with. I try to let my wall down enough to trust again but the men I encountered made it so hard to even want to try again.
this guy was my friend and randomly asked to sleep with me
this guy was my friend and randomly asked to sleep with me
this guy was an old coworker who randomly asked me for nudes
this guy was an old coworker who randomly asked me for nudes
This is me telling best friend about how surprised I was that my own step grandad was making sexual comments towards me in private
This is me telling best friend about how surprised I was that my own step grandad was making sexual comments towards me in private
I have bad trust issues from an ex and so many people made them worse. How do I heal?
This is me telling my friend about how I discovered that someone had ghosted me earlier that year because I didn’t want to let him lay in my bed if he visited my house
this is me telling my best friend about my regrets about kissing a man who wouldn’t stop immediately when I asked him to
this is me telling my best friend about my regrets about kissing a man who wouldn’t stop immediately when I asked him to
These are just a FEW examples of times I trusted a man and then he basically exposed that he was interested in me sexually or willing to jeaopordize our relationship because of his own sexual interests. There are way more times than this. And then there’s this
I have bad trust issues from an ex and so many people made them worse. How do I heal?
An apology from my ex 3 years later and too late to actually mean anything. I showed all this to say I have bad trust issues
I have bad trust issues from an ex and so many people made them worse. How do I heal?
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