I’m in love with a man who has a girlfriend?

[Anonymous]

So this guy I have been friends with for about 5 years we never really met up but used to send nudes and on the rare occasion we did meet up we were always with other people , November 2020 we met up and our Friends left early, we then had sex and it was so good Iv been in love with him ever since, we have had sex 5 times he has been in 2 relationships while we were having sex is it bad that I had sex with him While he had a girlfriend I’m just so in love with this man and want him to myself when we got drunk with our friends when they would leave to go for a fag he would rub my leg and things like that also he said he would leave his girlfriend for me when he was drunk. What do I do I love him so much

[Anonymous]

Are you sure you really love him? And if so, what do you love? Do you know him deeply as a person really? His life and the person he truly is? Maybe it's that you don't have him and the "chase" or excitement you like? It's worth taking a look at and analyzing if you haven't? The sex might be good, and there's at least sexual chemistry, but from someone that has similar experience, you said to someone else "surely he feels something towards me", don't be so sure! I was with a woman, and our sex was amazing. I developed feelings, deep feelings and I was sure she had to feel the same, or at least something (how could she not?), but nope, nothing AT ALL apparently because as soon as I shared my feelings, she not only left, ended things and ghosted me. She didn't even have basic respect for me obviously, never mind feelings. Some people are wonderful actors/actresses. Now in your case, you shouldn't have went down this road even, but what's done is done. Because you've already talked about being together (even if he was drunk), I would talk to him again about it sober. I don't agree with interfering with another relationship, but in this case, he must not be happy or all that into her, and obviously feels something for you so I would "clear the air" and find out. And if not (he won't leave her for you), then end things completely. I don't think you can even remain friends if you do indeed love him.

[Asker]

I’m in love with everything about him he’s told me everything when he needed help it was me he was ringing not his partner and I would go to him and we would just talk and laugh all night it’s so much more than a friendship but not a relationship , it’s not about the sex if I’m completely honest because Iv had better sex what made it so good is that it was with Him someone who I truly love

[Opinion Owner]

That sounds good. Do you know why he's with his girlfriend even then? There's some reason there, and that always amazes me these people that stay with someone, even when they aren't happy. So what's the reason for him? I would tell him how you feel, but I'd also question this. And if you do tell him, then it's time for him to make a decision and for action. When he said he would leave her for you, did he say anything else? Like what would it take and why hasn't he already done it?

[Asker]

She’s pretty I’m not but he’s always saying that I’m pretty in his eyes and that it’s more about personality and she’s just a bitch she’s never there for him he’s let me read there text messages and she’s just vile to be honest I’m not sure

[Opinion Owner]

Well your feelings are enough that it's time to find out how he truly feels, and if he's going to do anything about it, and if so, now is the time (don't let him tell you he will, but needs time or some other excuse - because this is most likely a sign he'll never do anything. It would have to be a really good excuse, and I don't even know what that could be? lol). Because if he doesn't feel the same, or won't leave her for you, then YOU need to know that now for your own sake. Before your feelings get even deeper. Because the longer this goes on, the more it's going to hurt if he ends up doing nothing.

[Asker]

I’m just scared he won’t do anything and I’ll be truly heartbroken I think off him everywhere at work at home in my dreams everything if he doesn’t feel that way about me what if I lose him all together I wouldn’t be able to Cope this has gone on for years Iv been in a relationship while having these feelings and the man I was in a relationship was just a distraction from him

[Opinion Owner]

I know it's scary, and yes a risk, but that heartbreak you're scared of experiencing, is only going to be worse the longer you wait. In my situation, I was scared also and felt the same way. And even though this did turn out as I feared (actually worse), I didn't even realize myself how deep my feelings truly were until she left, and yes it hurt A LOT, and took me a really long time to get over, but I'm still really glad I did it then and didn't wait. Because it would've hurt even more (which doesn't seem possible, but I'm sure would've happened). And in your case, I'd feel more positive about it because you've already discussed it, even if he was drunk at the time. So really all you're asking of him now is to put his money where his mouth is and prove it. Time to leave her if he's going to or will. Because if he won't, you need to know that.

[Asker]

Okay Thankyou for your help x

[Opinion Owner]

You're welcome and I hope I have. Let me know how it goes if you do it :) But put yourself first and your feelings! Nobody will watch out for them like you will, remember that!

[jaybee281]

He has a girlfriend and he slept with and is still with his girlfriend who can never know you've been together? - and managed to convince you he cares and that there is nothing wrong in what he has done? Damn this dude is playing everyone perfectly hats off to him

[cryscrys1]

Reading your story quickly I can see He is cheating and shit like this.
What makes you think he is going to stay with you and love only you.. he seems confused and immature. If I were you I would run away. Don’t even love him he doesn’t love you , his girlfriend, and himself too. He doesn’t have respect about himself he isn’t capable of loving someone! When he is capable of truly loving someone is going to be in his late 40s with some other women who’s maybe ain’t born yet or is 10 years old currently. So don’t dry your eggs for him

[Flower7]

You shouldn’t keep this guy in your life at all, as a “friend” or as anything more. He’s just using you for sex and chooses other people to be his girlfriend instead of you. He’s using you as a rotating side chick throughout each of his different relationships.

[Avicenna]

Go with B

[Asker]

I am madly in love with him, surely he feels something towards me tho

[exitseven]

At this point you might as well go for it.

[Cringe]

Good question

[Twalli]

Try to be with him when he's single. Since he obviously has no problem cheating on them with you, it's best to not risk it when he may turn you down due to him being in a relationship.

[Anonymous]

This sounds like a better friendship situation.

[Asker]

Why would he have sex with me tho if he knows how much I love him