Do you believe early age sex encounter ( < legal age), impacted your life and distorted your view of yourself and did you tell anyone?

Question

Inspired... or should I say... freightened by this question..
Girls, did you have your first Lesbian or Bi experience in Middle School, High School or College? ... and where?

Appears same sex, girls, having encounters at young age. If was a male /female, that be rape if not seriously bad. This stuff can warp young minds. Don't hear anyone calling it out... so I will.

Its troublesome because I've seen it be a risk in our family with adults and kids imposing ideas onto our kids combined with early age trauma. Without parents involvment quickly and open communication, could have sent a child down the wrong path easily... e. g. "i'm bi, I'm lesbian, blah blah bs". Bunch of crap for most people.

Observe this video, early on talks about difference between happiness and pleasure. Pleasure is a dopamine hit.. short term and addicting. Happiness is seritonin which is long term and non addicting. I suspect such ideas are confounded in our world. I just wonder the damage being done in our society. You really got to be in charge of your life and be comfortable communicating, with support around you... or else the world is going to "do a number on you".

Didn't have early age sexual encounter

Had early age sex, yes it did

Had early age sex, never told. it impacted me

Had early age sex, never told. don't think it's a big deal

Select age and gender to cast your vote:

GirlGuy

Answer 1

zeitgeist057 | 187 opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Guru

The poll options did not include my answer: Had "early age" sex (17), freely tell people about it, and the impact (was the opposite of "too soon")..." Do you believe early age sex encounter ( < legal age), impacted your life and distorted your view of yourself and did you tell anyone?

Do you believe early age sex encounter ( < legal age), impacted your life and distorted your view of yourself and did you tell anyone?

I actually feel like I was a "late bloomer" having had sex at 17, when I was in college. I feel like many people were having sex in high school and I didn't participate because I was a year younger than everyone in my class having skipped a grade, and I wasn't aggressive/confident so I didn't ask anyone out. The two girls I did find attractive in high school, one I believe now was a lesbian in love with her best friend and the other one she was actually in junior high (14 when I was 15 as a junior) and she was even more shy/awkward or maybe not as interested in me as I was in her. For whatever reason (s), I just never ended up having sex in high school even though it seemed most other people were.

So the impact of "distortion my view about myself" I didn't feel it. I felt sexual urges starting more or less around 14 years old, though I remember having a boner (and somehow instinctively knowing it was meant for a girl) as young as when I was about 7 or 8. I get the "legal age" thing, but I don't see that as the same as the "natural age" thing when you go through puberty which is literally the stage of development where you go from being a juvenile of your species to a sexually reproducing adult (in natural biological terms, not societal legal terms). And there are hordes of "< legal age" people having consensual sex, that supports that theory of development.

As for "telling anyone", I've never even remotely thought of my first, or any sexual experience, as a forbidden secret that I should hide from anyone.

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1 Person

Answer 2

AimeeKyle | 525 opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Xper 5

First time I had sex with my girlfriend I was 16.

Prior to that I had begun playing with myself at about 8 years old. I was introduced to playboy/penthouse magazines by my older brother.

In middle school I introduced them to a couple of my friends. One of which we needed up having a lot of sleep overs where we would look at the magazines and play with ourselves together. We never did anything to each other but I cannot say that the idea never crossed my mind. I REALLY wanted to know what it was like to get a BJ…and thought about asking/talking about trading, but never did). The final time we ever did it, I matured enough that cum came out (was a little bit of a surprise/wasn’t expecting it).

I have no issues…. Was all just a part of growing up.

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1 Person

Answer 3

Ez-Bri-Z

Guru

Oh lord here we go again...

Ok so besides starting at the obvious question of "how is being a lesbian/gay, the wrong path?" let's ask something else first.

Are heterosexual couples immune to this policy of not displaying their love for one another and having discussions about their loving marriage for fear a child's mind will be clouded and may end up heterosexual?

For that matter, are we also cracking down harshly if a boy and girl kiss at the playground during school if they are young or even start dating in high school if they are below age of consent?

If your answer is no, then you are homophobic and I summarily dismiss your topic as garbage.

If your answer is yes, then I have more id like to debate on this and will do so in good faith.

Ball is in your court.

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3 People

lightbulb27

4 mo
I'm not cracking down on if someone is gay or not, that's up to them. But children are impressionable, not all have strong will or know themselves. They can be easily guided astray of the direction parents are guiding them... to build their own families. I've seen this first hand the confusion thrown at the kids. This why I ask the question, was it impactful.

No, I don't stop a girl from kissing a boy on the playground. There's degrees of what is appropriate based upon maturity and why parents are needed to guide kids through the maze of discovery. but that's different than 9 yr old girls masterbating at a friends sleep over to porn, thinking they are bi, polmorphic, friends with benefits or whatever "du jour" mess is of the day.

Trauma is controlling. experiences create ideas.
had it not been revealed the mess being thrown at our kid, she'd going down this path of... what to me is... corruption. The net result of that corruption is in some cases, inability to create the next generation. That's what all this is about.

last time I checked... girls and girls and boys and boys... cannot reproduce.
Ez-Bri-Z

4 mo
So you are ok with hetero kids experimenting but not queer/homosexual ones. Again homophobic.

You'd be ok with a boy and girl playing doctor to explore each others bodies, but not two girls doing the same. Hypocrite.

My parents were completely heterosexual. As were my brothers and yet I ended up in a lesbian marriage. I didn't explore with other girls at 9. You can't make someone gay or straight. So girls doing whatever at a sleep over means they were already curious to begin with. Besides sickeningly they are more likely to get their first sexual experience by a male family member who doesn't know boundaries than they are from a female friend.

Please save me the concern on procreation being the concern. On their own no 2 men and 2 women can't make children, but they can absolutely each have offspring by working together and then going back to their own relationships.

So don't worry, even if everyone in the world becomes gay, we will still find a way to procreate.
lightbulb27

4 mo
I do think a person can be "coerced" into things they aren't ready for, nor what is them.. thus my question. Experimenting leads to who knows what.. it's natural drug highs. Keeping kids on the straight path is best for them, if possible. Emotional experiences are impactful, whether they distort sexuality... I don't know... I know they can distort self image and life.
Valid point on homosexual children.. when I grew up, it wasn't so open... noone said they were gay. If some 11 year old says they are gay today, I gotta wonder.. their brain isn't developed... are their hormones off... too much "sugar cereal" and "artificial flavorings" and god knows what? But ok, maybe they were made that way. I'd still send them to therapy, but maybe they are and if that's them, ok fine... I'm not gay but I've been around gay people, including ones who were married to opposite sex for some time. I generally see traumatic abuse in their stories. I see how it lurks. But bottom line... the 11yr old gay kid is not pulling my kid into their mess by promoting their view of life. neither is a corrupt straight kid... that's the battle.
And no gays don't make babies... that's baloney. You can adopt and raise one.. pay someone to make one, or borrow someone's sperm, buy an egg, steal one from a hospital, etc.. but that's all BS to me, not natural... don't count! I can get a surgery to convert myself into a dog... but I'm not really a dog.. even if I always thought I was a dog. I can get surgery to change to a woman... but I'm not. Maybe some day as a man, I can get a dog egg injected into an artificial birth sac, have it fertilized by another dog and give birth out my rectum to a mini schnauzer. I'm still not an Fing dog! Society isn't built upon lesbians and gays.
yes trauma can occur heterosexual, valid point.
Such experiences were part of throwing me off course in early life.
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Ez-Bri-Z

4 mo
"Straight path". That's just gross.

The most honest and correct thing you've said so far is "I don't know".

There is no point in sending them to therapy. They aren't going to stop being gay. They will just get better at hiding it. It sounds like if you have a gay child its you who needs therapy, not them. You are trying to convert them because YOU are uncomfortable, not them.

You are so worried that someone else is going to "convert" them to being gay that you aren't seeing you are the evil one trying to "convert" them in your own image. Thats traumatic in itself.

My wife and I have 2 great kids. We didn't "borrow sperm" we had no intention of giving it back. Whether you think its natural or not is completely inconsequential to me. We are still married. We still have kids and there isn't a thing you can do to stop it from being real. So yes, we absolutely can procreate.
lightbulb27

4 mo
I'm glad you found your way and happy in life and have built a good family, well done. We all have to navigate through life and each has their path.
I'm sure some people are gay, for whatever reasons, and I wish them success in life as I had for the friends I've known.
If a family member or child was gay, I'd support them and wish the best. I'd also encourage exploration to figure out if something did go wrong. To me... something got messed up. My question wasn't really about gay as much as early experience. But yes, I've seen it first hand how stuff can be projected onto a child and distort their view of themselves. Make them question if they are "bi" or like girls.
I don't think you are being honest or aware with regards to the impact that some people have on others who are impressionable. Kids are developing... they don't know.
I know enough of my own experience and had to dig into my own issues to say... emotional trauma is programming in us and influences who we become. unless it is exposed and resolved, it controls. Otherwise..."it" seems "normal"... we don't see what is controlling us... and we "are who we are".
Gay may be hormonal, developmental, spiritual, etc.. I don't claim to understand it anymore than I undestand type 1 diabetes. Makes no sense... maybe just an "abberation".
I do find it odd if people think it's ok for young girls to have sex experiences.. like if a 18yr old girl and 15yr old girl do something, is that rape? should be. I'm not hearing that called out.
Ez-Bri-Z

4 mo
It would be the same regardless of gender orientation. If an 18 year old boy and 15 year old girl have sex. Thats still rape.
lightbulb27

4 mo
ok good!

Answer 4

lightbulb27

I'm not cracking down on if someone is gay or not, that's up to them. But children are impressionable, not all have strong will or know themselves. They can be easily guided astray of the direction parents are guiding them... to build their own families. I've seen this first hand the confusion thrown at the kids. This why I ask the question, was it impactful.

No, I don't stop a girl from kissing a boy on the playground. There's degrees of what is appropriate based upon maturity and why parents are needed to guide kids through the maze of discovery. but that's different than 9 yr old girls masterbating at a friends sleep over to porn, thinking they are bi, polmorphic, friends with benefits or whatever "du jour" mess is of the day.

Trauma is controlling. experiences create ideas.
had it not been revealed the mess being thrown at our kid, she'd going down this path of... what to me is... corruption. The net result of that corruption is in some cases, inability to create the next generation. That's what all this is about.

last time I checked... girls and girls and boys and boys... cannot reproduce.

Answer 5

Ez-Bri-Z

So you are ok with hetero kids experimenting but not queer/homosexual ones. Again homophobic.

You'd be ok with a boy and girl playing doctor to explore each others bodies, but not two girls doing the same. Hypocrite.

My parents were completely heterosexual. As were my brothers and yet I ended up in a lesbian marriage. I didn't explore with other girls at 9. You can't make someone gay or straight. So girls doing whatever at a sleep over means they were already curious to begin with. Besides sickeningly they are more likely to get their first sexual experience by a male family member who doesn't know boundaries than they are from a female friend.

Please save me the concern on procreation being the concern. On their own no 2 men and 2 women can't make children, but they can absolutely each have offspring by working together and then going back to their own relationships.

So don't worry, even if everyone in the world becomes gay, we will still find a way to procreate.

Answer 6

lightbulb27

I do think a person can be "coerced" into things they aren't ready for, nor what is them.. thus my question. Experimenting leads to who knows what.. it's natural drug highs. Keeping kids on the straight path is best for them, if possible. Emotional experiences are impactful, whether they distort sexuality... I don't know... I know they can distort self image and life.
Valid point on homosexual children.. when I grew up, it wasn't so open... noone said they were gay. If some 11 year old says they are gay today, I gotta wonder.. their brain isn't developed... are their hormones off... too much "sugar cereal" and "artificial flavorings" and god knows what? But ok, maybe they were made that way. I'd still send them to therapy, but maybe they are and if that's them, ok fine... I'm not gay but I've been around gay people, including ones who were married to opposite sex for some time. I generally see traumatic abuse in their stories. I see how it lurks. But bottom line... the 11yr old gay kid is not pulling my kid into their mess by promoting their view of life. neither is a corrupt straight kid... that's the battle.
And no gays don't make babies... that's baloney. You can adopt and raise one.. pay someone to make one, or borrow someone's sperm, buy an egg, steal one from a hospital, etc.. but that's all BS to me, not natural... don't count! I can get a surgery to convert myself into a dog... but I'm not really a dog.. even if I always thought I was a dog. I can get surgery to change to a woman... but I'm not. Maybe some day as a man, I can get a dog egg injected into an artificial birth sac, have it fertilized by another dog and give birth out my rectum to a mini schnauzer. I'm still not an Fing dog! Society isn't built upon lesbians and gays.
yes trauma can occur heterosexual, valid point.
Such experiences were part of throwing me off course in early life.

Answer 7

Ez-Bri-Z

"Straight path". That's just gross.

The most honest and correct thing you've said so far is "I don't know".

There is no point in sending them to therapy. They aren't going to stop being gay. They will just get better at hiding it. It sounds like if you have a gay child its you who needs therapy, not them. You are trying to convert them because YOU are uncomfortable, not them.

You are so worried that someone else is going to "convert" them to being gay that you aren't seeing you are the evil one trying to "convert" them in your own image. Thats traumatic in itself.

My wife and I have 2 great kids. We didn't "borrow sperm" we had no intention of giving it back. Whether you think its natural or not is completely inconsequential to me. We are still married. We still have kids and there isn't a thing you can do to stop it from being real. So yes, we absolutely can procreate.

Answer 8

lightbulb27

I'm glad you found your way and happy in life and have built a good family, well done. We all have to navigate through life and each has their path.
I'm sure some people are gay, for whatever reasons, and I wish them success in life as I had for the friends I've known.
If a family member or child was gay, I'd support them and wish the best. I'd also encourage exploration to figure out if something did go wrong. To me... something got messed up. My question wasn't really about gay as much as early experience. But yes, I've seen it first hand how stuff can be projected onto a child and distort their view of themselves. Make them question if they are "bi" or like girls.
I don't think you are being honest or aware with regards to the impact that some people have on others who are impressionable. Kids are developing... they don't know.
I know enough of my own experience and had to dig into my own issues to say... emotional trauma is programming in us and influences who we become. unless it is exposed and resolved, it controls. Otherwise..."it" seems "normal"... we don't see what is controlling us... and we "are who we are".
Gay may be hormonal, developmental, spiritual, etc.. I don't claim to understand it anymore than I undestand type 1 diabetes. Makes no sense... maybe just an "abberation".
I do find it odd if people think it's ok for young girls to have sex experiences.. like if a 18yr old girl and 15yr old girl do something, is that rape? should be. I'm not hearing that called out.

Answer 9

Ez-Bri-Z

It would be the same regardless of gender orientation. If an 18 year old boy and 15 year old girl have sex. Thats still rape.

Answer 10

lightbulb27

ok good!

Answer 11

Aerissa_Jade | 1K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Yoda

I was attacked and yes it distorted my life, my family knew all about it. My life would be vastly different had that not ever happened.

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1 Person

Answer 12

SkipPerk | 162 opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Xper 5

I was raped by a man, and that sucked. I did have a few cutesy encounters with girls (showing each other’s parts in fifth grade, doing the same in sixth grade and she let me touch her). The best were two girls I met between 7th and 8th grade who taught me how to pleasure women. Oddly, they were a Japanese, and I have tended to like Asian girls ever since.

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1 Person

lightbulb27

4 mo
as a child or adult? i'm sorry to hear of that... not first time I've heard it out here and good you can share it. i hope that sob paid somewhere along the way.
makes sense you'd find comfort and desire where it was first demonstrated.

Answer 13

lightbulb27

as a child or adult? i'm sorry to hear of that... not first time I've heard it out here and good you can share it. i hope that sob paid somewhere along the way.
makes sense you'd find comfort and desire where it was first demonstrated.

Answer 14

Johnny_Power

Xper 2

I had my first sexual encounter with my cousin. I was around 9 and he was eleven, we were very close and spent most afternoons together after school. He showed me my first porns (only straight), and soon after we started trying to recreate it. At this time I continued to think I was straight because we were recreating straight sex (didn't know much about gay sex at the time).
Nowadays I'm in a happy and healthy straight relationship

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lightbulb27

4 mo
hows the cousin?
Johnny_Power

3 mo
We don't talk now

Answer 15

lightbulb27

hows the cousin?

Answer 16

Johnny_Power

We don't talk now

Answer 17

JohnQue74 | 380 opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Xper 5

Had sex at 10. It was not rape, it was not traumatic. It didn't cause psychological damage. You know what does? Having people tell kids that such an event was harmful. Telling kids repeatedly that they are damaged goods. That is what causes damage

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2 People

lightbulb27

4 mo
what was it like for the other though?
You are somewhat right, trauma isn't what happens... it's how it is perceived. I've seen enough of girls, and young girls to know... they can think something is fine one moment, and it throws them into disarray the next. But it's personality as well.
This why I asked.
I have to note though, you have an image of what looks like a strong devil. Is that the intent?
JohnQue74

4 mo
Oh. Him. Suppose to be a capricorn, my birth month. Never thought of the devil aspect. As for did she enjoy it? I'm assuming so since she asked for another round a week later and we kept in touch through the years.
lightbulb27

4 mo
and she was 10?
I'd wonder what got her going... there's a root, you may not have been the start. seems really young, 10yr old girls.. their brains aren't working yet...
anyway, glad it all worked out ok. peace.
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JohnQue74

4 mo
Full story here. We grew up together, neighbors. On the day her older sister, 13, came up to us and asked if we'd like to play house. So... it was just curiosity of a horny 13 year old girl.
lightbulb27

4 mo
so was all 3 of you?
JohnQue74

4 mo
13 just directed and watched
lightbulb27

4 mo
I think I understand, her 13 yr old sister arranged for you and her sister tohave sex, and she directed and watched. so maybe her young sister had asked about this.
i must have lived a sheltered life... what culture is this?
JohnQue74

4 mo
1980 USA. Minnesota. Not common, but it happens
lightbulb27

4 mo
oh, that makes sense... that's when USA hockey team beat Soviet pro team, all northern "hookie" girls would have been going nuts around then.😂🤣thanks for sharing!

Answer 18

lightbulb27

what was it like for the other though?
You are somewhat right, trauma isn't what happens... it's how it is perceived. I've seen enough of girls, and young girls to know... they can think something is fine one moment, and it throws them into disarray the next. But it's personality as well.
This why I asked.
I have to note though, you have an image of what looks like a strong devil. Is that the intent?

Answer 19

JohnQue74

Oh. Him. Suppose to be a capricorn, my birth month. Never thought of the devil aspect. As for did she enjoy it? I'm assuming so since she asked for another round a week later and we kept in touch through the years.

Answer 20

lightbulb27

and she was 10?
I'd wonder what got her going... there's a root, you may not have been the start. seems really young, 10yr old girls.. their brains aren't working yet...
anyway, glad it all worked out ok. peace.

Answer 21

JohnQue74

Full story here. We grew up together, neighbors. On the day her older sister, 13, came up to us and asked if we'd like to play house. So... it was just curiosity of a horny 13 year old girl.

Answer 22

lightbulb27

so was all 3 of you?

Answer 23

JohnQue74

13 just directed and watched

Answer 24

lightbulb27

I think I understand, her 13 yr old sister arranged for you and her sister tohave sex, and she directed and watched. so maybe her young sister had asked about this.
i must have lived a sheltered life... what culture is this?

Answer 25

JohnQue74

1980 USA. Minnesota. Not common, but it happens

Answer 26

lightbulb27

oh, that makes sense... that's when USA hockey team beat Soviet pro team, all northern "hookie" girls would have been going nuts around then.😂🤣thanks for sharing!

Answer 27

Dragonpurple

Xper 7

I never had any early age encounter, with either gender. Sure I wished I had with a girl, but my first experience wasn't until I was an adult in my early 20's.

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2 People

Answer 28

RebeccaBI2000 | 1.9K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Yoda

I started early experimenting with friends at 11. These were all girls and then boys. First sex with a guy was 16. I started a lot at 16. I have my moments where i really crave it. I used to be worse.

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2 People

Answer 29

Anonymous

I had same sex encounter when I was a teen, never told anyone about it as a teen. Its hasn't affected my life at all, I'm a nornal straight adult.

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Answer 30

Anonymous

I deeply regret NOT having sex with my first girlfriend in high school.

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Answer 31

SeanshterMonster | 1.2K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Xper 7

Yes, it wasn't voluntary, and it did impact me, told nobody

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1 Person

Answer 32

Anonymous

I was forced for years in boys hostels. it destroyed my life and changed my life in a bad way

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lightbulb27

3 mo
awful to hear, you didn't deserve that. There's too much of this imposition abuse in this world. very sorry you were subjected to that. I just read another story like that and makes me sick ill happens to children.. but happened to me as well to small degree. I pray you find healing so it doesn't cast a shadow on rest of life. It does take time to deal with and dispose of the poisonous energy that was handed no fault of your own. What do you mean by boys hostel, what country?
Opinion Owner

3 mo
Something like your boarding school but much worse

Answer 33

lightbulb27

awful to hear, you didn't deserve that. There's too much of this imposition abuse in this world. very sorry you were subjected to that. I just read another story like that and makes me sick ill happens to children.. but happened to me as well to small degree. I pray you find healing so it doesn't cast a shadow on rest of life. It does take time to deal with and dispose of the poisonous energy that was handed no fault of your own. What do you mean by boys hostel, what country?