There is a huge amount of misinformation on both sides.
the likes of 50 Shades did the entire scene a lot of harm, as it’s not really like that and misses out a lot of major points.
Then porn really takes the piss, it’s nothing like that.
there has always been a us and them between vanilla and those with kinks.
Vanilla sex is historically, sex used to reproduce, it only allows missionary position and anything such as oral sex or other positions is Historically classed as kinky.
i say historically as what is kinky or vanilla changes over time.
https://www.vice.com/en/article/vbw3bj/when-it-comes-to-vanilla-sex-kink-no-two-people-taste-the-same-flavor
In theory if you are not doing baby making sex, then you are doing kinky stuff and not vanilla… in theory.
Kink shaming is shit and should be stopped, everyone see and feels the world differently, we tick in different ways.
The big thing that is missing in most BDSM videos, movies etc, is that the Dom or Domme is predominantly there for the sub, they act as a safe place for the sub to live out or experience their kink.
Also a lifestyle BDSM relationship is likely deeper and more emotionally connected than a vanilla one, it needs to be due to the amazing level of trust in the relationship.
People are on the whole against BDSM as they do not really understand it and assume it’s abusive or they have experienced it with another person who is only into it for their own satisfaction.
If a girl can orgasm from being spanked and bitten, is it wrong to give her that pleasure and release?
A lot of people especially subs cannot fully release unless they experience their kink in full.
Also BDSM is a huge umbrella name for kinks, things Such as kitten play are very gentle and caring, kinky but not on the whole violent. Most role play would fall under the BDSM umbrella as that’s where society puts it.
The other reason negative views of BDSM is those that watch porn and then say they are into it and expect any other person to be their sub, without even asking.
there is a huge thing about informed consent and communication, you ask you discuss, you respect, you are honest, you build trust, you seek consent and show that you are informed enough about the kink and the risks to seek consent.
vanilla is fine, BDSM is fine, it is however pointless shaming each camp.
There's a line between vanilla and BDSM.
Vanilla is standard missionary sex that feels more like a transaction.
Non vanilla sex can involve doggy, 69, cowgirl, various other positions.
BDSM is a sexual practice that is very different and unique which evolves mulitple physical and mental stimulation done in a professional manner. You can't say everyone should be into BDSM otherwise they support classic gender roles that's not a fair assumption, BDSM has it's own crowd and jf you're into that don't bother converting your partner just find someone who's already into it as well.
I think they just have their own preferences that they are comfortable with. People shouldn’t be forced into something they aren’t sure of.
I have dominatrix tendencies but one thing that is important is even though it can be fun to dominate a man , I would never demand he do something he wasn’t comfortable with as I would not want someone doing that to me.
Karen is literally freaking out over two consenting adults having fun and doing what makes both of them happy, together.😭
So does she also stop people from play fighting too? Play fighting is literally fighting for joy and connection. There's hair-pulling, punching, choking, etc., involved too. We aren't made of glass Karen...
Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions
What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!No, I don't necessarily think they are vanilla.
I actually think this degree of violent opposition to BDSM and specifically male dominance and power roles is the result of certain mental health issues- anxiety, self-esteem issues or deeply rooted preconceived notions about sex and power dynamics.
Most of the people I know who are this way seem to have anxiety induced control issues and simply feel that their agency is being violated during certain forms of sex and intimacy, and that's why they lash out about it.
On one hand, it's annoying when they parrot these narratives about how people who perpetuate it are "sadistic" and people who enjoy it are "psychologically ill", on the other hand, it always makes me wonder whether their mindset may be the result of some negative experience they have had (as in, actual abuse).
So I try not to judge them.
I'm not much into BDSM, but in the past people have told me that I'm not Vanilla either.
They say it's because I do various positions, lots of oral, anal, interracial (I'm White with different races of women), I have sex in all different locations, I do bite and spank sometimes, I'm open to lots of kinky stuff, but just not into BDSM really.
I can do it if she wants, but I don't get anything out of it generally.
There are people who are into threesomes and anal sex who do not do BDSM so I think the statement is not accurate.
Vanilla means normal, she don't support violence, nothing wrong with that. :)
https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RomanticizedAbuse
Living a boring life, I'd want some spice in bed
ignorance is prevalent today... not only that, ignorance is valued and monetized as well
and there's a lot of people out there that like to criticize and be against so many things they have no idea nor a clue about... BDSM being just one more of them... lol
Yes on the most part I think so, there will always be some exceptions. I think I know which that question was from, she's batshit crazy.
Just naive and immature. In my experience, more intelligent people are more open-minded about sex and everything else.
There is nothing wrong with not been into BDSM personally. But I hate people who try to make it out like BDSM is a bad thing and the person who likes it needs help. And yes consent does justify it that's the whole point of consent.
Vanilla?
i dont find them boring, but more like theyr not really adventurous
Basically. I like being tied up once in a while if I really trust the person. And tying and teasing sounds fun 😊
Yeah this stuff sounds hot af to me ;)
Handcuffs?
@Tstrbrainer I prefer silk ropes. Softer on your wrists.
I dont like bondage myself
They're probably vanilla with a gigantic stick up their ass.
Oh it's not an opinion, it's a FACT that they are vanilla, boring, uptight PRUDES
@anon1903 Okay, so I agree with you based just on your post by itself.
But when you bring in the other girl's post, that's where it gets more complicated. Because she's talking about her boyfriend's previous patterns of relationships with other women. And I think that DOES matter. So she has reason to be concerned if the way he was acting with those other women doesn't line up with what she's looking for in a relationship (whether what he did with them was consensual or not).
She's jumping on conclusions, man. I'm into knife play, does it make me a psychopath?
@anon1903 Ummm... ( 😬 ) Are you a psychopath? No. I don't think so. ... But that is some freaky stuff.
Yes. But it depends on the cutter's motives. She's kink shaming here us all.
And if they are, so what?
Nothing
I'd imagine, yeah
Some practices I participate in, make BDSM look like a warm-up.
Well im not into that stuff but i will still do it if my oartner wanted. But yeah that person sounded like a troll to me. She deleted my comment on yours by the way.
What was the comment
Calling her out for being a troll lol
😆😆😆 awh honey
Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
Superb Opinion