Why is there such a double standard when it comes to virginity?

[Subarugirl]

[TheorionMage]

Especially in Western culture, a 'virgin' male, is a sexually-inexperienced clutz.
Yet from WHERE is this 'experience' supposed to come? Society decries 'incestual' home schooling.

Humans typically learn either through observation or by firsthand experience and because prevailing culture's paradoxical hypocrisy of overtly praising 'good gentlemanly' boys yet romance novels elevating ravening rapacious Rake 'Bad Boys' Western males get massive misinformation from equally inexperienced peers and increasingly visual fantasy erotica espousing scenarios this motivationally-conflicted young males dutifully TRY to participate in.

BOTH adolescent males and females hormones raging, WANT to obey Nature's call, and yet safely but further ham-strung by prevailing antiquated religious dogmas and DELIBERATE promulgated naivete'.
In Victorian times, often pragmatic fathers would give their sons 'the talk' and the wisest among them would take their sons to the local brothel's Madame for HER 'talk'. If the object is to 'fish', while discussion with successful fishermen is telling; what of the opportunity to interview THE FISH?

It is said: "Build a better mousetrap and the mice will beat a path to your door" ... the paradox lies in becoming a masterful Lover, while women DO love to gossip and brag, as males do too.
IF you've found a 'good thing' do you BOAST of what you've found OR stifle your inclinations and DO as ONE MUST to secure YOUR 'good thing' to AVOID unwanted competition?
In college years, my male friends and I espoused: "If I've made you happy, tell your friends... if NOT, educate and tell ME FIRST!" (Ego aside... Can't improve if you DON'T take to heart earnest critiques!)

Even the Church is conflicted. Genesis promotes 'being fruitful' and for the Pastor/Shepherds to 'guilt-trip' for control yet grow their flocks. Yet by so doing, reproduction prolongs the delay of the judgmental 'end of days' "salvation".

For the females, no better! If a young woman is nascently a nubile Nymph... society hypocritically enshrines her yet publicly labels her a concupiscent precocious 'Slut'. If she remains 'unsullied' and 'innocent' she is labeled a 'cold fish' and gullible. Again, pragmatism eschews 'incestuous home schooling' yet mandates its a parent's 'duty' to raise & educate their offspring.
MAKE UP YOUR FUCKIN MINDS!!!

Far too often, these socially-paralyzed parents leave such critical education to prevailing peer wisdom.
Check the Reddit postings!

[Lliam]

It makes no sense to me. I guess it's rooted in deep historical tradition. Women were treated like possessions throughout history, up to a few decades ago when they started gaining legal rights and the ability to be independent. Access to contraception also changed things.

In the past, men wanted "virtuous" women in order to guarantee that their offspring weren't "illegitimate". Religion also played a big part.

But old attitudes persist. Some people still have the notion that sexually active women are used goods and that their pussies are tainted. They make up all kinds of reasons to justify their visceral feelings. It's purely emotional, not logical. It's like a phobia.

I don't hold with such beliefs. I love women who are in touch with their sexuality and celebrate it.

There's another aspect. There are men to save themselves for marriage, too. Some men and women equate sex with everlasting love and think it is something sacred that should only be shared by two people who vow to spend the rest of their lives together and raise families. I can only assume that those notions have a religious basis. I don't share those beliefs, but I can't criticize those who do. It's their choice.

I, myself, think of sex as one of the most joyful and pleasurable, peak activities that we can ever experience. It's why people seek boyfriends and girlfriends. Personally, I preferred infatuated, monogamous relationships with normal girls who had healthy values and self esteem, as opposed to promiscuous girls who would fuck anything. But, either way, I admire women who have strong libidos and set out to experience life to the fullest. Part of that means making mistakes. That's how we gain experience, learn and gain character.

[Anonymous]

I guess it's because men don't stand out so much when it comes to chastity. But still, a woman should not lose her virginity and innocence for nothing at all costs (I keep unfortunate events apart).

[Ericalovescats]

Good question

I believe it's partly because sex is emotional in many ways and woman are seen to react to emotional things more than guys, it's a stereotype and it's not always true.

[DaveJord]

Why do ask these questions in the form statements?

Why "is" there such a double standard...

The why implies a question being asked. But look at the use of thge word "is".

Is defined - equal to, homogeneous, same in kind, or uniformed.

So even trying to answer the presumed questions, means you accept that there is a double standard.

[JohnK123]

Facts

[Subarugirl]

Because there is a double standard

[DaveJord]

@subarugirl So word the question like this, " I believe there's a double standard when it comes to virginity, agree or disagree?" The use section to explain why you believe so... not just provide a meaningless graphic with no additional explanation or details... almost do the bare minimum to frame your argument here. Don't try to word these sneaky none questions... its obvious you wrote a statement and put a question mark at end, and want make us to think its a question. But you always take anti-man stance on everything, so it does not surprise me to see a sexist opinion being promoted from you. But do please provide us with why you believe there's a double standard on virginity, give us a primse for your opinion

[Subarugirl]

Lol I am not arguing though, you guys are managing that all on your own. The preface for the question isn't if there is a double standard, that has already been established, the question is why there is one.

[Subarugirl]

Also, I fail to see how the topic of virginity is anti-man?

[DaveJord]

Its that you imply the there is a double standard as a statement of fact and not a real question, as if it is a given. But don't really explain that.

[Subarugirl]

Because weather there is a double standard isn't the question. The question is why there IS a double standard. If you are trying to argue that there isn't a double standard than you are either blind or incredibly naïve.

[DaveJord]

Well that's a that knife cuts both way so if you're not the naïve one, then tell why there is a double standard... I might agree. but as it is written it not a well written question. You are deflecting and trying to distract from my point back to you... but you have yet to address or explain what the double standard about virginity is to you?

[Subarugirl]

If I wanted to give my opinion on why there is a double standard I would have written a MyTake, instead of asking a question. It would seem that you are the only one having a hard time with this. Allow me to simplify... do you under stand the difference between these two question: I believe the sky is blue, agree or disagree? and Why is the sky blue? You see how that is different? It's the difference between asking WHY something exists or IF it exists.

[DaveJord]

Again the sky is blue that is a know and simple fact. A double standard to virginity is not a simple or known fact... I still do not get what you are referring to in as the double standard to virginity. Again your logic escapes me. What double standard? How guys react to women being virgin or women reacting to guys? Is it a bad thing to be a virgin or good thing? Are virgin guys more or less datable then virgin women? What is the double standard?

[Subarugirl]

Let’s see if I can break this down in a way that you understand.
Have you heard the saying “ If a key opens many locks, then it's a master key. If a lock gets opened by any key, then it's a shitty lock.”

The National Library of Medicine even posted a an article on the topic.
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/21476174/

[Subarugirl]

Here’s another article that talks about it.
www.frontiersin.org/.../full

If you’re still in denial about it just take a look through the comments

[PurpleMonkeySundays]

Mostly religion, i think... Leftover ideas about morality from the bronze age.

Think I'm wrong? Who are the strongest supporters of this double standard? Religious people. When were these double standards the most severe? Times when we were much more religious. How many holy books talk about stoning women who have sex to death but dont bother to say much or anything about men? Wayyy too many lol.

Men having sex = good man, tough guy, super cool. Women having sex = slut, whore, dirty, low class, etc... It's a religion-instilled patriarchal values system and it needs to die. (And thankfully it is slowly dying... just wish it'd hurry up lol)

[ChrisMaster69]

It’s because historically women or rather young girls were seen as family commodities.

They are and are objects belonging to the family.

https://www.elle.com/uk/life-and-culture/a26529628/hymen-vagina-women/

https://schoolofsexed.org/blog-articles/2020/04/2/virginity

https://medium.com/@lbetros1101/5-reasons-why-virginity-is-a-social-construct-f8cc36333127

The above I used on another post earlier.

one of the most hysterical, well it would be funny if it was not true,

a lot of guys (especially in certain areas) want to fuck around as much as possible, to be studs having multiple partners, however they all want to marry virgins…

imagine a 1000 couples on an island all early 20’s, ….

Its a social construct used to shame and control people.

[PositiveNote]

"a lot of guys (especially in certain areas) want to fuck around as much as possible, to be studs having multiple partners, however they all want to marry virgins…" So true!

[MrCommodore]

Depends on the guy and how inexperienced or insecure he is.

Personally I don't care about a woman's past sexual exploits, so long as she isn't still close friends with a guy she previously slept with. I prefer not to know.

[ohshee]

I'm not sure what you really mean by that I look at it like this.
When a guy loses his virginity he also loses 3/4 of his brain just spilled out all over the bed or in a condom.
He went into it not knowing what he was doing and 2 min later he's even more confused. Because in that moment some how he became super stud because every guy that he is ever seen or met in his life is going to hear about he just had sex the best sex ever LOL he bad-mouths the girl he brags that he is now superstud then when you got home he got put on restriction because he didn't do his chores or feed the dog but he doesn't care because he's in la la land

Does this is where I feel bad because the girl gave in to him believing in his words what he was telling her and she just found out it was all a big lie she gave up her virginity she didn't get pleased she hates life and him both and doesn't want anybody to know about it because she's embarrassed but she's going to find out the next day of school did everybody in the world knows about it. And she doesn't want to say it's true because it was so bad and terrible she doesn't want to talk about it I think there should be a law with virgins if you cannot at least last 20 minutes to half hour if you cannot get the girl off Nature has the best orgasm the best experience ever you're not allowed to do it and if you mention it to one person you get a limp dick for a whole month
Or with any of the above grow up gets to walk up and smack him in the mouth Just 4 Him talking about it when he was so bad I think it's wrong the guys do what they do I think they're wrong for making the girls look like she is not who she really is
Just like a girl being called a s l u t I think that is so wrong because they're tired getting screwed over by a guy and not even happy fun time at all and then get called the name for it is that the double standard you're talking about

[DaveJord]

I don't get what she is getting at either? What double standard to virginity? "When a guy loses his virginity he also loses 3/4 of his brain just spilled out all over the bed or in a condom." - That is flipping hilarious... totally agree. LOL

[ohshee]

Well I only know that because I was probably that guy the very first time I did it but I learned a great lesson by the fourth time

[Berethor]

Because men and women are different,

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MyGirlIsNotASlut

[Subarugirl]

Not that different

[Berethor]

No one stop you from looking for virgin, but you not gonna do it do you?

tvtropes.org/.../NatureAdoresAVirgin

[NathanDavis]

because that was the idea of virginity in the first place... to keep women "under control" and subjected to a value in the perception of men, rather than themselves as women or individuals...

and a lot of that nonsense still persists nowadays

[RedStiletto88]

I want to know this too.

[PositiveNote]

A bloodline was very important to the those who had wealth or kingly positions. For millennia and with many cultures around the world, only certain families could ascend to the throne. I wouldn't bother to explain why for every culture, but for today, the courts use laws in all countries based on heritage through bloodline.

In religion it follows the same ideas, but each religion has it's reason for the bloodline.

[jshm2]

There isn't.

If a key opens many locks, then it's a master key. If a lock gets opened by any key, then it's a shitty lock.

But some keys and locks are bought for high price because they are still in the pack.

[On_cloud_wine]

Did you just create this?

[HighValue]

Girls are the ones that like a more sexually experienced man and often dislike or even refuse to date one with less experience, so that is on them.

I think people shouldn't be hypocritical though and people that have had casual sex should not expect an innocent partner. they should be with other people that have had casual sex and the more innocent people that are either virgins, or would only have sex within an exclusive relationship should stick with each other.

[Agape93]

Honestly, religion

[king34]

ur dumb

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

@king34 no she isn't. It was religion who started this "women must be pure" idea. Until that point people didn't care. Just look at the Romans who ruled before the catholic church gained power. They couldn't care less. In fact to them sex was trivial.

[king34]

@This_Is_My_Opinion8 i think your missing a lot of factors in your history lesson there but regardless of what you think happened in history, were talking about modern day my guy

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

@king34 the question is why there is a double standard regarding virginity. Even today we are perpetuating something brought in by religion. Why is it still believed today? Because it benefits guys. So people come up with all sorts of mental gymnastics to justify it.

[king34]

@This_Is_My_Opinion8 your literally bullshiting yourself my guy, everything is from religion? i dont think you know as much about history as you think you do, religion has very minute if anything to do with what's going on in todays society or the alleged double standard you speak of. I don't know what mental gymnastics your speaking of specifically but it seems like your the one doing them, just say you hate religion, dont blame it for your problems though, as far as im concerned ur both just retarded

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

@king34 just look around at what some guys are saying here and you will see what mental gymnastics I mean. About religion, it molded society. The values that the church imposed on us centuries ago are still the ones we uphold today. For example, we will have elections in my country soon. And there are parties advocating and I quote "it was a mistake to take God of the public square". The influence religion had still very much influences us today.

[Prof_Don]

Because a guy getting laid,
takes social savvy and understanding of female psychology.



A woman getting laid…is frankly nowhere near as skillful.

[exitseven]

It is not fair. Neither is the fact that girls can get sex a lot easier than guys.

[humanearth]

There's not, it only matters to young people. Pack on a few years and you won't care no more either

[Anpu23]

Because the standard is misunderstood. And you are only seeing it from the womans perspective. The whole standard is that girls are inherently clean and guys dirty.
That the act of sex purifies the guy but pollutes the girl. So virgin girls are desirable and virgin guys are gross.

Therefore a guy who sleeps around isn't a bad thing but a girl who does is.

I know its stupid and certainly outdated. But the standard is applied to both genders with different results.

[awkward_author]

Religion still has a huge influence on our culture.

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

Bingo. Religion was the thing that brought this mentality in the first place.

[loveslongnails]

There isn't one from my viewpoint.

[Subarugirl]

so you've never witnessed a woman shamed for not being a virgin and a man praised for losing his?

[Waldoe]

from a "Mans" perspective... "active guys" are STUDS... "active girls" are WHORES... I love and married a "Whore" and never regretted it.

[loveslongnails]

No, because that would mean I'd have idiots and incredible hypocrites for friends, which I do not. Nor is it the kind of conversation I overhear. The only places I've witnessed that is on some social media (which I no longer frequent, and they criticizers were indeed idiots), or on here (not sure this is social media).

[loveslongnails]

@Waldoe I'd agree that's true, but only of foolish men and hypocrites.

[convo_king89]

Girl getting laid is more of being a slut, but a guy it’s more of a goal

[AydenHazor]

Because we live in a society loaded with patriarchal bullshit