If someone only ever has sex when they are in the mood & will not do it when not in the mood just to make their partner happy, is this uncaring?

Question

yes

no

Select age and gender to cast your vote:

GirlGuy

Answer 1

Lliam | 4.1K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Master

I think it is self centered for a woman to be unwilling to generously grant her man's desire at times. It's equally selfish for a man to refuse to satisfy his woman's needs, even if he isn't in the mood or is too tired for a full session of intercourse. People can use their mouths, hands or other things to pleasure each other. People do lots of thoughtful things for each other. Why is sex any different?

People who aren't willing to do that either only care about themselves or aren't into each other. But don't jump to conclusions. Read further for an explanation of what I mean.

A guy has to get hard, so it's a problem when he's not turned on enough to fuck, but he can do other things.
On the other hand, a woman has a hole. She doesn't necessarily need to be turned on to put it to use. That's a fact. Millions of women have sex regularly when they aren't turned on. They may just need a bit of lube to get started. Okay, some women, especially if they are older, may need lots of lube.

Seriously, there are women who can smoke a cigarette or text while getting drilled. And what about prostitutes?

I think it's fucked up for some women to claim that they have a right to receive equal pleasure every time their pussy is employed. Actually, they DO have a right. Nobody has an obligation to be on call 24/7 as a sex bot. But the indignant attitude I mentioned may indicate some serious resentments or inhibitions.

But I believe that it has to be a two way street. If she gives a BJ or grants a quicky, he needs to be equally eager to do things just for her on other occasions. That's what two people who care for each other do. It should be fun to make one's partner the center of attention and bring them to ecstasy. And, yes, lots of long, mutually gratifying sessions of euphoric, orgasmic sex are most important.

A lot of women like the feeling of their partner's cock inside them, even when time doesn't permit foreplay and a long session of carefree love making. Some even find it thrilling or at least flattering. They know what their pussies are for and don't mind granting their partner access on occasion. For example, spooning first thing in the morning and getting porked. Or letting their man playfully fondle their tits and bend them over a counter or piece of furniture for a spontaneous fuck. There's no law that says a woman has to have an orgasm every time she has sex. Sex doesn't always have to be lovey dovey. Sometimes it can just be a really fun recreation. Or it can be a gift from one to another.

I'm saying this from the perspective of having had quite a few girlfriends in my life. Every one of them was up for a BJ or quicky on occasion. They didn't feel "used". They didn't feel resentful. They were happy to be so desired and admired.

None of this is to say that a woman is required to be available whenever their partner wishes. A man has no "right" to use her body. Sex is the greatest and most intimate thing to people can share. They do it out of love, not obligation. It's a gift.

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Answer 2

DaveJord | 830 opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Yoda

Honestly if your in a situation were everything only happens on their terms, then I would start looking for a better person. People who do this with sex, usually allows it bleed over into other areas of their lives. Over time the relationship suffers and they never take any reasonability for their actions because you already accepted and allowed it to continue.

So I see it as a means of control, that establishes that principal that everything only evolves around their moods. For example you have met people who claim they are not morning people... well that maybe, but its not an excuse to neglect or treat others unkindly just because you're grumpy in the morning.

Maybe a good boneing on a bad day would change their out look on life.

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Answer 3

muscularbumblebee | 90 opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Xper 7

No not at all? I wouldn’t expect my partner to be forced to have sex with me if he wasn’t in the mood lol and same with him to me.. on the other hand I’d just wonder why he isn’t in the mood, is it stress? Tiredness? Or me? Also if someone has sex when they aren’t in the mood it’s pretty obvious and ruins the other persons mood no matter how much you fake it..

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Asker

4 mo
I realize I may have asked the question the wrong way. Do you think that people might think that i meant always doing it when not in the mood? I was thinking sometimes but not always because it would not be right to have someone do this on demand but I do believe that at least sometimes compromising is important

What are your thoughts

Answer 4

Asker

I realize I may have asked the question the wrong way. Do you think that people might think that i meant always doing it when not in the mood? I was thinking sometimes but not always because it would not be right to have someone do this on demand but I do believe that at least sometimes compromising is important

What are your thoughts

Answer 5

jazmiine | 152 opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Xper 6

If the partner is not in the mood I think both of them will just torment themselves if they proceed because it will not be enjoyable. What kind of partner will disregard the feeling of the other. It can be done however if the one who wants it can make the one who is not in the mood "be in the mood".

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Answer 6

AncientWisdom | 65 opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Xper 6

Women know that men require sex both for pleasure , and to carry their genetic package forward. That’s why they weaponize it in relationships. It’s really the only power they have over men. They are very aware of this , and they use sex to try to control men. The sexual center of the male brain is larger. It’s our biology. They know this very well. They are taught they can control men with sex by their mothers. They use sexual bait to attract a man for marriage , and use the modern western court system to enslave that man for having sex with him and bearing his children. More and more females are taking on masculine qualities because the law and culture have allowed this to happen. No other countries in the world do this to the extent modern western society has done so today.
Women are now more then equal in western society. They run our society. They have abused their new found equality. Now men are abused by the courts in the name of a woman.

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4 People

Answer 7

Phoenix-gb | 104 opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Xper 6

No-one should be forced to do something they aren't wanting to do (except when it comes to work but that's a different conversation).

At the same time, if you're not getting out of a relationship what you need, then nothing is forcing you to stay. Mis-matched sex drives, if it's a big deal for one party, will lead to a breakdown of the relationship at some point. If this is the case, you need to have a conversation with your SO and find out if there's a root cause that prevents them feeling the same as you, or if you're just not matched in that way and what you plan to do about it.

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1 Person

Answer 8

SkipPerk | 162 opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Xper 5

If you are sick, fine, but if you do not give your partner what she needs, you cannot complain when she cheats.

when I have had trouble getting it up (bad medicine), I just go down on here. We even got a dildo until I was done with the nightmarish drugs. My ex-wife had a vaginal issue and she kindly tried anal after oral got boring. Sex is important. You must go the extra mile

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Asker

3 mo
I realize I may have asked the question the wrong way. Do you think that people might think that i meant always doing it when not in the mood? I was thinking sometimes but not always because it would not be right to have someone do this on demand but I do believe that at least sometimes compromising is important

What are your thoughts

Answer 9

Asker

I realize I may have asked the question the wrong way. Do you think that people might think that i meant always doing it when not in the mood? I was thinking sometimes but not always because it would not be right to have someone do this on demand but I do believe that at least sometimes compromising is important

What are your thoughts

Answer 10

Mikeysoda

Xper 5

It really depends. There are several points of views already laid out here by other comments. I still voted for yesssss its uncaring in a marriage were there is commitment. However, it depends because the asker of the deed has to be considerate and caring of the others needs as well. So compromise must be there.

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Asker

4 mo
I realize I may have asked the question the wrong way. Do you think that people might think that i meant always doing it when not in the mood? I was thinking sometimes but not always because it would not be right to have someone do this on demand but I do believe that at least sometimes compromising is important

What are your thoughts

Answer 11

Asker

I realize I may have asked the question the wrong way. Do you think that people might think that i meant always doing it when not in the mood? I was thinking sometimes but not always because it would not be right to have someone do this on demand but I do believe that at least sometimes compromising is important

What are your thoughts

Answer 12

boggboss | 7.9K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Master

To a certain degree yes although subjects like this are always tricky as u can never make someone do something they don't wanna do especially when talking about sex that being said we all do things we would prefer not too do for partners at 1 point or another not because they make us but because we know it makes them happy

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Answer 13

Cycloteur

Xper 1

Hey, it's your job to get your partner in the mood. If you can't do that its not your partners fault. If you have sex with someone who doesn't want to you are by definition a rapist. Its very simple.
If some one have pity sex with their partner its willingly and not the above, still you are not allowed to demand that or pressure them into it, then you are a rapist. And you know what happens to rapists sooner or later.
Sex is to be given, not taken for granted or taken at all.

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4 People

Asker

4 mo
What if the person won't let their partner get them in the mood and wants to be when they happen to be in the mood at the same time
Cycloteur

3 mo
I don't understand your full reply, but this is the key success factor for any couple and is what I call "beeing compatible". If you don't fit/work together its no help that you find each other sexually attractive. You need someone to be much more than attractive for a long term relationship. So if it is what I think you say in your post, you need to have a real talk about this and if no change is possible you need to move on for both your own and your SO's sake. Life is not easy but struggling with someone not compatible with you makes it almost unbearable.
When you grow away from the pure lust based years you realise that finding a partner which is both you friend and lover is necessary. Just a friend or just a lover doesn't cut it in the long run.
Life is to short to waste it with the wrong partner. Personally I would rather spend years looking than accepting a sad life of unhappyness.

Answer 14

Asker

What if the person won't let their partner get them in the mood and wants to be when they happen to be in the mood at the same time

Answer 15

Cycloteur

I don't understand your full reply, but this is the key success factor for any couple and is what I call "beeing compatible". If you don't fit/work together its no help that you find each other sexually attractive. You need someone to be much more than attractive for a long term relationship. So if it is what I think you say in your post, you need to have a real talk about this and if no change is possible you need to move on for both your own and your SO's sake. Life is not easy but struggling with someone not compatible with you makes it almost unbearable.
When you grow away from the pure lust based years you realise that finding a partner which is both you friend and lover is necessary. Just a friend or just a lover doesn't cut it in the long run.
Life is to short to waste it with the wrong partner. Personally I would rather spend years looking than accepting a sad life of unhappyness.

Answer 16

TheBMG

Xper 5

I am in a situation where I am always in the mood. My spouse, not so much. I hate to admit but it’s been 4 months. I have tried to see if everything is ok with my spouse, but she denies anything. So I feel it’s harming to our relationship. She has become so unaffectionate with me. I feel neglected and hurt. I’m trying to be patient, and I think I have been. I’m giving her space. Trying to just talk. Not sure how long this can do on. I’m trying to put my feelings aside to be supportive of her, but I get nothing back. I’m at a loss. She denies counseling with me or by herself. She does not go to the doctor and I wonder if something like hormones have changed. But she won’t open up to me. I am faithful and supportive. It’s truly hard to deal with.

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1 Person

Answer 17

Xoxocutekitty | 297 opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Guru

You know monogamy is based off of the idea of NOT being with other people.

It does not entitle you to their body whenever you damn well please.

Being exclusive doesn't mean you get to tell them what to eat, whether or not to take birth control, how they shave, or whether or not to shower everyday.

Yes you can break up with people over these things but you can't MAKE someone put anything in their body they don't want to (even body parts).

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5 People

bamesjond0069

4 mo
If you're not entitled to their body, how are they entitled to reserve and control yours? "No" is a free pass to go out and sleep with someone else and its not cheating.
zeitgeist057

4 mo
@bamesjond0069 lol but they "want the cake and eat it too". Don't want to drive the car, but don't want anyone else to, either. Just want to keep it locked up in the garage brag about.
bamesjond0069

4 mo
@zeitgeist057 exactly.

Answer 18

bamesjond0069

If you're not entitled to their body, how are they entitled to reserve and control yours? "No" is a free pass to go out and sleep with someone else and its not cheating.

Answer 19

zeitgeist057

@bamesjond0069 lol but they "want the cake and eat it too". Don't want to drive the car, but don't want anyone else to, either. Just want to keep it locked up in the garage brag about.

Answer 20

bamesjond0069

@zeitgeist057 exactly.

Answer 21

Ninani

Yoda

No, it's uncaring to ask your partner to compromise their comfort for your own sexual needs. Take a wank and show that you care about their boundaries.

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11 People

Asker

4 mo
I realize I may have asked the question the wrong way. Do you think that people might think that i meant always doing it when not in the mood? I was thinking sometimes but not always because it would not be right to have someone do this on demand but I do believe that at least sometimes compromising is important

What are your thoughts

Answer 22

Asker

I realize I may have asked the question the wrong way. Do you think that people might think that i meant always doing it when not in the mood? I was thinking sometimes but not always because it would not be right to have someone do this on demand but I do believe that at least sometimes compromising is important

What are your thoughts

Answer 23

hi_it_is_me123 | 177 opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Explorer

How many men would willingly take care of their women when they have their period lol. Like i really can't understand how people ain't disgusted of blowjobs where you lick the rest of pee (-does not matter how much clean it, there will be some pee), semen or other disgusting shit but at the same time period blood is disgusting for them. I still think oral sex is important for foreplay or it is fun even though it is disgusting. Sex itself is actually disgusting too when you think about it. It is kinda funny how weird humans are. Whatever i personally would satisfy my potential partner even if i was not in the mood but i expect the same from him.

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1 Person

hi_it_is_me123

4 mo
I mention period because some women have period for 7-10 days and it is too long to not take care of yourself sexually.

Answer 24

hi_it_is_me123

I mention period because some women have period for 7-10 days and it is too long to not take care of yourself sexually.

Answer 25

AimeeKyle | 507 opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Xper 5

Absolutely. Especially if you are in a committed / married relationship. Everyone has their moments of not being interested. All be it rare for me, there have been instances where I wasn’t either feeling my best or in the mood…. when my SO asks, I give it up. And if I think my performance might not be up to par for whatever reason…I would let her know before we ever get going.

It’s really all about communication and willingness to give to your SO.

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Answer 26

PurpleMonkeySundays

Xper 5

Not too surprising more women think its not uncaring than guys... It's probably 90% women getting hounded for sex lol.

But like, why tf should someone be expected to fuck you if they dont want it? UNCARING? Thats not uncaring, thats some toxic bullshit.
Uncaring is wanting your partner to have sex with you even if they dont want it.

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3 People

Answer 27

SnakeBoop | 2.2K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Guru

nope. sex is not a need that they will die without.
if a partner truly expects they partner to just have sex because they want to, that other person needs to find a better partner... ews

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5 People

ananias55

4 mo
Thats why I dumped my ex. She didn't fulfill my needs and I found someone who did. Sticking around only makes both sides miserable
SnakeBoop

4 mo
@ananias55 sure, not everyones sex drives match. thats okay
ananias55

4 mo
True and I know lots of guys with low drives. You gotta find the right fit.

Answer 28

ananias55

Thats why I dumped my ex. She didn't fulfill my needs and I found someone who did. Sticking around only makes both sides miserable

Answer 29

SnakeBoop

@ananias55 sure, not everyones sex drives match. thats okay

Answer 30

ananias55

True and I know lots of guys with low drives. You gotta find the right fit.

Answer 31

LeoLover75

Xper 4

Yes it is a little uncaring. Only for the fact that when you are in the mood they may not be but if they are willing to have sex when you are in the mood don’t you think it’s only fair that you do when they are in the mood?
If you wait to have sex when both are in the mood then you might be waiting for a while.
If one of you isn’t in the mood then maybe the other one who is can do things to get the other one in the mood.

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3 People

Answer 32

Apple1996 | 8.2K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Master

I'm willing to do stuff like blowjobs/handsjobs/mutal masturbation if I'm not in the mood for sex. In those moments sure I'm doing it to care for my partner but I wouldn't say it's uncaring if someone isn't willing to be that way

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7 People

ananias55

4 mo
Thats enough to keep us happy ^-^
Apple1996

4 mo
@ananias55 yeah sometimes I do these things for fun or cause I'm horny too but sex seems like too much work
ananias55

4 mo
I agree. Sex requires time, place, and cleaning up after.
Sometimes foreplay is easier and mixing it up is fun too.

Answer 33

ananias55

Thats enough to keep us happy ^-^

Answer 34

Apple1996

@ananias55 yeah sometimes I do these things for fun or cause I'm horny too but sex seems like too much work

Answer 35

ananias55

I agree. Sex requires time, place, and cleaning up after.
Sometimes foreplay is easier and mixing it up is fun too.

Answer 36

NotTacocaT6969 | 73 opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Xper 5

Yes.

I put out for him even when I’m not in the mood.

He on the other hand can’t be bothered to spare the 30 seconds he lasts for.

After three years of this, I’m starting to tell him to go fuck himself the way he makes me.

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2 People

Answer 37

Daniela1982 | 3.3K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Master

Not necessarily. It depends on how often it happens. Like once in awhile or quite often, like maybe 3 or more times a week? There could be a lot or reasons from hormone imbalances to just not finding you sexy anymore.

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Answer 38

humpbackjack | 340 opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Xper 6

Extremely selfish and doesn't give a shit about you bail now before you get in too deep like kids or other obligations cause nothing good comes out of feeling like you’re stuck and unappreciated or cared about

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Answer 39

Subarugirl | 520 opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Explorer

Why would you want to have sex with someone who doesn't want to and doesn't enjoy it?

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11 People

ananias55

4 mo
That was my ex. Her body her choice. But I couldn't handle it so I broke up with her. Cause it's my body and my choice too.
the29thhuman

4 mo
Dude go get an escort to put up with ur shit if you can’t comprehend what a relationship is. Don’t insult women because you have greedy nature. You don’t deserve sex and you are not entitled to it, if you disagree then you need some serious therapy lol
ananias55

4 mo
Yawn.
Show All Show Less
Subarugirl

4 mo
@the29thhuman Amen sister!
ananias55

4 mo
Leaving women who don't click with your vibe isn't greedy. In the long run you'll both end up miserable. And entitlement means I feel I deserve sex. Which I don't.
We both want to want it or I walk.
That is the mindset that got me the girl I have now. So try to insult and belittle me. Please, it's amusing.

Answer 40

ananias55

That was my ex. Her body her choice. But I couldn't handle it so I broke up with her. Cause it's my body and my choice too.

Answer 41

the29thhuman

Dude go get an escort to put up with ur shit if you can’t comprehend what a relationship is. Don’t insult women because you have greedy nature. You don’t deserve sex and you are not entitled to it, if you disagree then you need some serious therapy lol

Answer 42

ananias55

Yawn.

Answer 43

Subarugirl

@the29thhuman Amen sister!

Answer 44

ananias55

Leaving women who don't click with your vibe isn't greedy. In the long run you'll both end up miserable. And entitlement means I feel I deserve sex. Which I don't.
We both want to want it or I walk.
That is the mindset that got me the girl I have now. So try to insult and belittle me. Please, it's amusing.

Answer 45

ItsyBitsySpider

Xper 2

Why would you want to have sex with someone knowing they don't want it/aren't in the mood?

Surely you'd want to have sex when both parties are excited about it and want to do it?

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4 People

ananias55

4 mo
If one party has a higher drive than the other and is constantly saying no. The other party will start to fall apart and feel unwanted. Relationships take effort. If effort is only given from one side then it's bound to fail.
ItsyBitsySpider

4 mo
That didn't answer my question, why would you want to sleep with someone, knowing they don't want it/aren't in the mood? Why would you want to make your partner do something they don't want to do?

If two people are completely not sexually compatible, the person who wants more sex has to figure out if getting sex is more important than their relationship. If it isn't, they will stay, if it is, they need to leave and find someone they're sexually compatible with with.

Answer 46

ananias55

If one party has a higher drive than the other and is constantly saying no. The other party will start to fall apart and feel unwanted. Relationships take effort. If effort is only given from one side then it's bound to fail.

Answer 47

ItsyBitsySpider

That didn't answer my question, why would you want to sleep with someone, knowing they don't want it/aren't in the mood? Why would you want to make your partner do something they don't want to do?

If two people are completely not sexually compatible, the person who wants more sex has to figure out if getting sex is more important than their relationship. If it isn't, they will stay, if it is, they need to leave and find someone they're sexually compatible with with.

If someone only ever has sex when they are in the mood & will not do it when not in the mood just to make their partner happy, is this uncaring?

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