My boyfriend has never fingered me or went down on me I don't know if I should ask him?

I’ve been with my boyfriend for 4 months now almost 5 and we live together. I am 18 and he is 21. I’ve given him blow jobs and jerked him off many times. He loves when I do so and I like doing it myself. I’ve just wondered why he’s never tried to finger me or went down on me. I haven’t brought it up but I feel like I should. I like getting fingered and eaten out it pleasures me. I feel like it would be nice if he could go down on me or try it. Maybe even just finger me if he doesn’t like going down on me. I have a very good hygiene and make sure I smell fine down there. I’m very clean and shave. He said he’s fine if I have a little hair but I’m not sure if he’s okay with it if he went down on me. I’m not sure what to do or how to ask. I just feel like I’ve been doing most of the work I always give him a bj or jerk him off. We have lots of sex but he doesn’t finger me or go down on me. I am usually the one to go down on him and then we have sex. He does other things like sucking my tits but also for a little. When he does so he stops after 3 minutes. When i pleasure him I take my time and I keep going to really get him in the mood. I just feel like he could at least try to finger me or go down on me. I feel like fingering would help me get more into the mood. I feel like I might be asking too much or maybe it’s just me. I’m not sure how to bring this up and tell him if he wants to try or maybe see if he likes it or not. I need thoughts about this. I just want to be pleasured like I pleasure him. He just usually gives me hickies which feels nice but that’s all he does, either that or sucking on my tits for 3 minutes. Am I in the wrong for wanting to be pleasured or at least fingered?
0 4

Superb Opinion

  • Of course you're not wrong- but you do need to communicate it. It's entirely possible he's just not thinking of it, or thinking you don't want it if you haven't said anything. Or he's afraid he'd do it badly, or embarrassed to bring it up. If he's near your age, or just inexperienced, he may be feeling performance pressure and afraid of messing things up by trying something that doesn't pan out.

    The key to this- in fact, one of the main keys to a happy relationship- is to not assume he's being malicious when he doesn't do what you want.

    The most direct thing to do would be to simply ask him; if you're too nervous to use words, then when things between you start heating up, gently pull his hand over and starting rubbing it against yourself. He'll get the message. You may also want to play up your reaction a bit- don't fake anything, but be sure to give him some noises or words of appreciation, so he knows he's doing it right. For both psychological and practical reasons, it's usually easier to start with your hands and go up from there.

    • True I will definitely do this thank you so much

    • You're welcome. Hope it helps.

    • I tired bringing it up but he didn’t want to talk about it he got in his feelings he said and I didn’t get to ask him. I just don’t get that when I asked what he liked he said I’d be okay with trying anything but he didn’t ask me. Then when I was gonna say what i like he just closed off. I don't know I will try again and I hope he listens

Most Helpful Guy

  • He sounds like he's a bit selfish most of the pleasure is about him, and possibly taking advantage of the fact that you're younger, and I don't mean taking advantage of you, but more dominating the situation because he's older than you.

    You should definitely say you want him to finger you and eat you out, you have leverage too with the fact that you blow him often.

    Maybe something to hold back on if he starts acting like a little bitch and refusing to pleasure you how you want it.

    Communication is important is sex and a relationship, maybe it's something he never knew was important to you.

    • I understand what you mean I should tell him and ask him

Most Helpful Girl

  • I mean as a girl who likes giving bjs also (and I'm having the same problem with my boyfriend) I figure the best way to do is just be like I love goin down on you but when am I ever going to get the same attention? I mean cause it does suck wondering why or what is wrong with you that he won't do that for you. But trus me there ain't nothing wrong with us they are probably just to lazy... But fuck that. If you want me to go down on you you better go down on me? Get my drift

    • I get it your right they need to be putting in more effort for sure and give us what we want too

    • Exactly did you figure it out

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 35
  • Maybe he's not very confident sexually? Or at least with foreplay. Try to encourage him.

    Or maybe he just doesn't realize you'd like more stimulation besides just sex. Are you able to communicate with him pretty openly about stuff like that?

    • I am we do foreplay and I’ve told him that I feel good when I finger myself I’ve mentioned it before

  • Basically, he has been using you. Tell him your desires and if he does not start pleasuring you, move on. I am amazed that you have kept quiet and stayed with him this long!

    • You have a point I jut thought maybe he’d at least try or do something by now

    • Why would he try by now if he has no interest in your pleasure?

    • True I brought up the topic about sex and like what he’s willing to try. I didn’t get to part about asking him if he wanted to try going down on me or fingering me because he closed off. I was just about to ask him then he said he was empty inside I don't know I’m so lost. He hasn’t said anything about it. But I feel like I can’t even bring this up because he won’t respond or be like I don't know. He said he’s willing to try anything and I said are you sure. He said yea but he didn’t ask me what I want to try or what I like. I don't know I’m just not gonna be doing anything to pleasure him until he tries and if he doesn’t I’m just done I can’t keep waiting for him to try to pleasure me when I do most of it to him.

    • Show All
  • Mars... you are just going to tell him what YOU want. As you found out guys love a great handjob ( it feels way better than jerking off solo which all guys do) It is not all about his pleasure you deserve pleasure and some good orgasms also! Just tell him what feels good for you. If he does not do it then it is time to move on or stop giving him head. Your thoughts?

    • You’re absolutely right if he doesn’t try or want to do it I’ll stop doing too much to pleasure him

    • U go girl!

    • Mars stay in touch I will be happy to answer any more questions u have... you will always get an honest answer

  • Some women hate this. It canctraumatize a man. I love going down on girls and fingering them (preferably at the same time) it is totally fair to ask.

  • Of course you should ask him.

  • Just tell him. Communication is key in a relationship. Maybe he thinks you don't want it because you never talked about it.

  • Hell yes if you want it ask

  • I think you are doing more for him than what he is doing for you
    I would speak up and say what is on your mind sometimes
    lack of communication doesn't get us anywhere in a relationship
    don't be afraid of any small threats he may make that is all child's play

  • Next time he wants a BJ, tell him you can't wait to give him pleasure, but you want him to try to get you off by fingering and eating you first. If he does you'll reward him with a BJ or whatever else he wants. If he refuses nothing for him.

  • There's nothing wrong with what you want. Just talk to him, and see where it goes.

  • Just play the song "Please Please Me" by the Beatles.

  • Either he doesn't know how and doesn't want to embarrass himself or he's an undercover fruit. Tell him to eat that pussy like a real man or get lost.

  • You shouldn't even have to ask.

    • That’s what I was thinking I’ve been with people in my past relationships and i didn’t have to ask they just did so I’m just wondering why he hasn’t bothered at all

    • He’s being too polite, lol.

    • Maybe he said he’s willing to try anything but I’m like yea if you are why don’t you try something new when you want. He likes the same thing but I’m like why doesn’t he just take charge and like surprise me I don't know it would feel nice. Maybe he is but I told him he can do whatever he just doesn’t. I don't know sometimes I think my boyfriend is scared because he said he’s never fingered someone before. It’s not hard to be honest I’ve brought it up to him like subtly. I was like oh I would be so surprised if one day someone fingered me better than I do myself or I’d be shocked and happy when someone pleasures me better than I do. I don't know I hope he catches on and I will tell him about this like he can try. I mean I give him a bj cause I know he likes it what about me you know…

  • I’m guessing he probably doesn’t know how to or is too nervous or really he’s just an arrogant prick who thinks the whole world revolves around him. Damn 5 months and nothing. Wow!


  • Love to eat your pussy

  • Ask him to. He might not really like doing it, but won't mind if it makes you happy.

  • I'd have gone down on you from day one.

  • What is he waiting for?

  • All you have to do is tell him.

  • No you're not wrong and there's something wrong with this guy. He should want to go down on you and finger you.

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