Sexual Relationships
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Guys, Why does my boyfriend watch porn but have really boring sex with me?

I don't mind him watching porn. But for me it's like.. wouldn't the porn make you want to have better sex with your partner? Or be more freaky? I notice he is so vanilla in the bedroom.. and another question to add, why is it that men find it hard to express or tell their girlfriends/wives thier fantasies? If I were a guy I'd want my girlfriend to do freaky sh*t for me not watch porn. And why jack off when you have what you want next to you? Does it get boring? Do you need to see other women? And is it easier to jack off sometimes then it is to have sex? I just want other people views and answers haha. I am curious. Like I wonder what men think during foreplay or sex when it's with the same person.
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Some reasons for masturbating:

    No anxiety when one masturbates (other than the risk of getting caught if that is an issue in the relationship). Often anxiety is a big part of what comes from partner sex: anxiety about how I smell, how my body will perform, will my body perform, does my partner like me, my body, how my body reacts etc. For many people, unfortunately, relationship sex is filled with so much anxiety that it is not enjoyable
    A person is tired and masturbation doesn't require the same level of effort, both mentally and physically to perform
    It is not painful. For both men and women, relationship sex can be physically painful and the inability to resolve the pain or effectively discuss it with their partner leads to the desiring relationship sex less or avoiding it
    A person is bored
    A person is bored with their relationship and wants to play out a fantasy in their head
    A person is stressed
    Because they like it
    They don't have to worry about getting rejected by their partner
    Their partner is sick, has their period or just doesn't want it when the partner does
    They want to do it quick or don't have the time required for relationship sex
    Their partner is traveling or away from their partner
    It's convenient, like in the shower in the morning or evening
    It is their best attempt to remain faithful to the marriage because they are really unhappy and don't have anyway to resolve marital conflict outside the bedroom
    They do not desire the kind of sex they will have with their partner
    It's fun
    They want to indulge in a fantasy that they are: too afraid, embarrassed or fear rejection from their partner to share with them
    They just want an orgasm and they know how best to get there in the fastest way possible
    To learn more about their own body and what they like and how to reach orgasm

    • Yeah... I don't think it's fair I have to do all the work.

  • Can't say I'm speaking from experience, but my best guess at the communication side of things is maybe he's afraid of what you would think if he expressed some of the things he's interested in. While as a society we've become more open about sex in general terms, kinks and fetishes are still kept hidden for the most part.

    If you're wanting to stay with him, talk to him about it, if you know what types of porn he looks at, ask if he wanted to try any of it out (as long as it's something you'd be comfortable with doing as well of course)

    If not, and it bothers you, might be time to move on.

    • I think so too. I'm learning it's more of an addiction. Not for pleasure. He doesn't even masturbate. He just watches it.

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What Guys Said

(11)

  • Tell him what you want!!!

    • He's got a porn addiction. And he doesn't puy any effort into the sex we have. And I have told him what I want. My next step isove the hell out of his place.

    • I would dump him.

  • Watching porn and having sex are two different things. Regardless of how amazing a sexual partner is, sometimes it's nice to just masturbate and watch instead of engage. As for the sex you are having with each other, it's possible he prefers vanilla sex in his real life.

    • No he tried to fist me before without asking. So clearly something's off. Also I hear him watching it daily.

    • He might have a porn problem. There’s also nothing wrong with enjoying various kinks/fetishes. However, he should have asked before doing so.

    • Yeah... And I don't think you can just do that to any women haha

    • Show All

  • If he's watching porn then he sees you as average or below average looking. I'd have to see a pic to know for sure, but I'm usually 99% right when I hear this type of thing. He's most likely looking to cheat too. DM me a pic and I'll be brutally fuuckin honest about what he's doin.

    • Okay well if that made sense why would he spend all his money on me, work till he's dying to pay for me, and make me move in with him? And that's highlly false because I look good. So... Yeaaaahh no.

    • It's because Monogamy ain't natural Read the book "SEX AT DAWN" by Cacilda Jetha and Christopher Ryan

    • That's stupid and why the hell would he go through all the trouble to move me in just to not want to be monogamous?

  • If he’s addicted to porn, that will always cause problems for your sexual relationship. I do find it weird that he would watch that but not want to at least try that stuff with you. That to me seems a little odd personally.

    • I know. For me this is a normal things I've experienced with many guys..

  • Face it: your boyfriend is a dud. Maybe you should find another one, just to keep things spicy. Have him as a reserve backup or something.

  • Because sometimes you partner is vanilla and they don’t want to do any of the stuff your into or what to try.

  • Well I think the best advice here is to improve communication.. some guys are closed about this subject.. and more you talk more open he will be and more fun in sex you will have. Just try to be initiator of convo.. Trust me it will help.. Maybe he just like something they gilr do on porn and shy to ask about it.. Who knows.. so just talk.. it’s your boyfriend.. coz this shit can escalate quickly and cause problems.. I’m sure you don’t wanna have any other sexual attractions to other guys but lack of good sex can easily make it happen.

    • I don't know but I know I won't stick around. One I'm way to pretty so if I do have it for other guys I will go get that. There are guys out there you choose real over digital lol.

    • "Who will choose not **you

    • Yeah.. I’d say most of them choose real over digital lol

    • Show All

  • I guess you could apply that logic to anything. Why does he watch Nascar and still drive like a bitch?

    • Jeez 🤣

  • have you told him this

  • What is "Vanilla" for you? what do you want him to do to you? Sometimes as men we are afraid of freaking her out and going too far lol

    • Well he's got a porn addiction for one. But he just lays there. That's it. Lol. And it's the same position every. Single. Night. At the same time. I'm doing all the work.

    • Vanilla ice cream =boring AF

    • Tell him you want some different stuff

  • Show more from Guys (1)

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