Sexual Relationships
+1 y

Am I right to be frustrated?

My husband (30) and I (22) have been married for exactly one year next week. Known each other for 4 years. When we were just dating the sex was great. Snuck around whenever we could to get together.

Now we have sex MAYBE twice a month if I'm lucky. No matter what I do, he won't give in.

I dress up in lingerie, do my makeup, roleplay as a school girl for him 🙄 and even spontaneously TRY to give him a blowjob. He's always "too tired" or "there's a cut from shaving/a pimple it hurts when I get hard maybe tomorrow". You guessed it, tomorrow comes and he's too tired again or his pimple stings.

What the hell am I doing wrong?
Worst part is he watches porn for HOURS the second I leave for work. Am I not enough for him anymore? I have a hot body, little gain on the stomach but nothing dramatic at all. I'm pretty, I do my makeup and have my hair done up the way he likes it all the time.

What am I doing? What do I do? Is this normal 1 year in?

I read so many comments that married couples are having the best sex of their life 6/7 years in. Im actually jealous.

Please tips, advice and ideas on what to do cos I'm stuck.
0 1

Superb Opinion

  • You're learning the hard way that Monogamy kills SEX and ROMANCE. And then MOVING IN kills the entire relationship. Monogamy is NOT Natural for us as primate mammalian species. Eventually you're gonna wanna fuuck other people. It's just how we evolved. There's nothing you can do about your biology. This is why most couples will FAIL in an epic fashion. Now, can you go against your 'nature', anthropology, biology and evolutionary imperatives? Yes, but most just won't last.

    If you want the TRUTH, read the book "SEX AT DAWN" by Cacilda Jetha and Christopher Ryan. It'll all make sense.

    • Then where did the living happily ever after fantasy come from? I'm really asking, is it an illusion or are there different people?

    • @Lolaaa53553373333 You been told a lie your whole life 1. Movies 2. Media 3. Cartoons (Beauty and Beast, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, etc.) 4. Music (99% of songs are about monogamous romance) 5. Politics (outlawing Poly marriage) 6. Religion (One man / One Woman = You'll burn in hell if you sleep around or have many partners) etc.. etc.. It's all a damn lie pumped into your head since birth. But it typically turns into a nightmare with over half ending in divorce and that doesn't include the couples still together, cheating on each other and/or living like roommates with no sex life.

Most Helpful Guy

  • this is all only possibilities but after voicing concerns in private about them was talked into going ahead and informing you of these maybes. so keep in mind that it could also be none of these too.

    i suspect a few other possibilities as to why your hubby lost intetest. though am a proponent of age gaps and preffer much younger women, i am aware plenty of others into this are not quite so honest with even themselves as to why. you may now be "too old" for his prefferences. also suspect it could be the dynamic of you initiating (dominance) and/or you are too available for his liking. then of course there is always the possibility of him cheating at some point/s / getting it elswhere. could be some form of ED he is hiding. am also a bit concerned with this genital pimple thing, as it is pretty commonly, but not always, a sign of herpes to have any type of acne in that area of the body.

Most Helpful Girls

  • The porn is definitely not going to help. I'm guessing he is pleasuring himself as well. That is going to effect his sex drive. Best sit down and talk to him about the porn habit as that is unhealthy.

    You are certainly right to be frustrated. You have put in the effort to try to entice him. The problem lies with him. Again, that whole porn thing is the culprit in my opinion.

    • i like porn a lot too but have to agree that it is at least part of the problem.

    • @magiusX26 Yep, definitely sounds like he maybe indulges too much by the description. Cutting that down or completely stopping should help in my opinion.

    • mind a pm priya?

    • Show All

  • Why did you marry such a older man? It also seems that there is no love between you. Maybe he doesn't like you or is bored with you. If you want, go to a sex therapist. This here is not the solution.

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 21

  • Well maybe you need to do something drastic. Flat out tell him: "Stop jerking off to porn, get some testosterone boosters and start screwing me like you did before we got married. Before I find someone that can!" Say it loud enough the neighbors hear you say it. Who knows it might be the shock he needs to realize how frustrated you are.

    • Wouldn't the last sentence probably get him too resentful though and he'll challenge her for his ego? and wouldn't he be bothered by her making a scene? (like if everybody hears her)

    • @Lolaaa53553373333 Honestly her issue is one that makes your head spin. Not sure if it would help or hurt. But it's at least it's something to try. I mean the vast majority of men spend the majority of their life trying to get laid and he is not taking full advantage of a ready and willing partner?

  • Wow, I don’t know anyone with this problem and have a few friends who got married a few years ago.
    i do think it’s odd and u should be frustrated.
    im getting married this yr. and can’t imagine this happening. As soon as we moved in together, we had sex on average once a day... I don’t expect it to change.
    id have some more serious talks with him

  • Perhaps it was the sneaking around. The thought of doing things you weren't "supposed" to do.

  • He could have a porn addiction... Might want to look into that...

  • Unorthodox suggestion: for a few days, don't dress up or do anything sexy, whenever he gets home, watch your favourite porn on tv (yes on tv) while being naked on your couch AND IGNORE HIS PRESENCE

    Given how much porn he loves, he will get curious and see what you are upto. Don't mind him and keep having fun. He may feel excited/humiliated and give you his attention

    Makes sense?

  • It's not you it's the porn, he need to cut that out, that is the reason for this. I have nothing against porn at all, unless it starts to interfere with real life, exactly as it is here. Either he accepts it's an issue and gets help, or you have to make a tough choice. Porn addiction only gets worse, never better if there's no intervention.

  • I think he might have a porn addiction.

  • You are very right to be frustrated. A sexless marriage is little different than roommates.

  • How is the rest of the marriage going? Would you say that the lack of sex is really the ONLY thing not working, or is it just one of many things?

  • I guess that's what happens when the honeymoon is over, but not for all couples. Maybe it depends on how much you love each other.

  • Like a lot of the other guys stated, it's the porn.


  • Yes every right

  • He's addicted to porn and needs to be forcibly removed from that sick obsession.

  • He must have a low sex drive and urs is high?

    • He watches porn for hours though. And we used to have sec nearly every day. Now he's just off

    • So he’d rather jerk off than have sex with u?

    • Pretty much

    • Show All

  • Communication is key. You need to talk about it. Perhaps he may be suffering from some kind of mental health issues

  • i'd leave

  • Sounds like a low sex drive

  • He's addicted to porn. And who gets pimples on their dick?

  • Watching porn is bad as it messes with your brain.. cause those perfect tits and perfect ass changes the chemistry in our brain regardless man/woman.. refraining from it is gonna be difficult but not impossible.
    when I meet my girl. I don't want to watch porn no matter how tempting it is to watch it. I refrain. I grew up watching porn before I got a girlfriend.. so yeah he must be addicted to it. I suggest you both sit down and talk about it. usually its the guy who has this issue you are facing because she had a baby.. sex once a month must be so depressing.. after stopping porn for a month, your brain goes back to normal, and your sex drive is back..

  • He has a porn addiction and he’s probably got ED too.

  • Show More (1)

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