Help! I can’t get turned on by my boyfriend?

[Anony3942]

I’m at a point where I’m very confused. My boyfriend who I’ve been dating for a few weeks now, hasn’t made me cum or even wet yet.

I find him very attractive and I catch myself staring at him sometimes thinking ‘geez your hot’ so I definitely love his looks, and his personality is great also, he is totally my type. We haven’t had sex yet, but he’s given me oral a couple of times, but I don’t get off from the oral and I haven’t ever gotten even wet from him which is a big problem..

I find that my biggest sexual turn on I think is when a guy has a bit of fat. Not like obese or overweight or anything, but I do love some meat on their bones or a bit of chub or something, I don’t know why, but I find that’s what arouses me the most. The thing is, my boyfriend is a twig... like he’s actually so skinny.. I’m starting to think that’s why I haven’t cum or gotten wet yet 😬 I get way more pleasure when I’m touching myself thinking of a certain celebrity/their figure I find super attractive.. that’s so bad I know, and I feel like a terrible person!

I’m so confused tho because I get excited around my boyfriend because he’s cool and hot and I do find him attractive! I don’t know what my problem is 😔

I also feel like I would enjoy him inside me more and that would give me more pleasure than him just touching me and giving me oral because it’s more pressure, but I can never get wet from him so how am I meant to stick it inside me? He’s tried with his fingers before and it really hurts.

Far out, can I overcome this problem or are turn ons really that important?
I just really hope this relationship isn’t doomed

[cloudxnine]

Well you guys have only been together for a few weeks lol. For many women, sexual attraction is both a physical and mental thing. As your relationship develops and you guys get to know each other more, your sexual attraction to him could definitely increase a ton as you get to know more about his mind and who he is as a person. A good, caring man is extremely sexy! You could also be dealing with nervousness. This is a new relationship so the sexual chemistry will take a decent amount of time to develop before you guys know each other's bodies and turn ons well. Being anxious and nervous is often the cause of why a woman won't/can't get wet. Very rarely do people just get into a relationship and are 100% sexually compatible with no bumps in the road. That's not realistic.

I would suggest giving it more time before you start to worry. At least two or three months. Be patient and communicate with your boyfriend about what does and doesn't feel good and what your turn ons are. If you guys are thinking about getting into penetration, USE LUBE! This will allows you guys to take this step. Good luck.

[Anony3942]

Ok thanks 🙂 that’s a relief to hear! I was thinking it was extremely abnormal to not be turned on by him yet. It makes sense, cause I really really like him as a person, but I’m not like 100% myself or comfortable around him yet, he still makes me a bit nervous lol. But he is lovely, so hopefully as we get closer the sexual side will get better. I just don’t know how people can do one night stands and stuff with no problem

[cloudxnine]

I was someone who had a good amount of one night stands prior to my current boyfriend. What I noticed is back then is that I simply didn't care about any of my partners on an emotional level so it was just easier to not give a fuck lol. I got what I wanted and that's all I needed from them. But though my current boyfriend and I have been together for six months, and our sexual relationship is amazing, I am still not 100% comfortable with him. It's different from hookups because I actually love my boyfriend and everything just means so much more on a mental and emotional standpoint. So yeah even six months In we're still learning each other and that's perfectly normal. There is nothing abnormal about your situation at all.

[Anony3942]

Ok great, thanks for the advice :)

[boggboss]

What do u mean is turn on really that important ofc its important if u are not turned on how do u hope to have a sexual relationship with him and its fine atm as its somthing u can hid but imagin if u boyfriend couldn't get hard by looking at you he had to think of other women to get hard would u be happy

[Anony3942]

Um I know it’s a problem, that is my point! I’m trying to find a way to fix it, that’s why I wrote this question asking for advice! And no it’s not fine atm, I’m having a really hard time dealing with it.

[boggboss]

Is this your first relationship like have u been turned on with other guys?

[Anony3942]

No this is my first relationship, and I have only been turned on by 1 celebrity which is pretty embarrassing 😳

[boggboss]

And have u ever had sexual thoughts about your partner

[Anony3942]

Yeah but only cause I made myself.

[boggboss]

What do u mean u made yourself u understand to get turned on in the first place it has to be natural rhat u view your partner in a sexual manner right like u won't just get wet if u don't see your partner sexual

[Anony3942]

I know! That’s the problem

[Anony3942]

Maybe it will come with time though as I spend more and more time with him

[boggboss]

At this point thats only other thing I can think of that maybe u require much more emotional attachment to become sexualy attractive to a person but meh who knows good luck I guess

[Anony3942]

Yeah thanks :)

[Iron_Man]

It all depends if you have a sexual attractions toward girls that might be influencing you especially hanging on porn sites every day

[Anony3942]

I’m straight, and I’ve never watched porn 😅

[Iron_Man]

Awesome well that rules that out

[Iron_Man]

Why don’t you go to a relationship counselor or maybe even a sex therapist

[Anony3942]

That’s a bit awkward for us right now I think, we’ve only been dating 3 and a half weeks and we haven’t even had sex yet.

[Iron_Man]

I didn’t know you only dated 2 1/2 weeks. And oral sex is doing something sexual

[Citizenkirk]

Have you tried counseling?

[B4852]

That's a shame. Sorry to hear that.

[Anony3942]

Yeah it sucks :/ any advice?

[B4852]

Sounds more like he just needs to learn how to tune you on emotionally.

[Anony3942]

Yeah probably. Maybe as we get closer it will be better hopefully

[B4852]

Have a conversation with him and don't be afraid to get very personal and detailed.

[Canada2]

Well move on. Or tell him to eat some Big Macs and read up on how to please a women.