How to realistically give a good bj?

Question

I was with my high school boyfriend from 17-24, and he was only the 2nd guy I was ever with, and I’m really shy and anxious so I don’t typically give head, my rule is only in a relationship which I’ve successfully avoided for a good 3 years, but now I’m in one and we are 8 months in and asking for it. I haven’t given head in so long and I’m so nervous that I will be horrible. I am looking for realistic tips not porn tips, on how to start and actually do it? I’m most nervous about starting, do I just pop it in my mouth? Lick it? Lick the top?

bowenw · Accepted Answer

Even though you said no porn stuff, you may pick up on some good techniques by watching. There are also good instructional non-porn videos on YouTube. Start by licking the tip, then the shaft and balls. Then take the head into your mouth while you stroke the shaft. You don't have to fit the entire dick into your mouth. The first few inches are where the nerve endings are. Use your lips and tongue on it while you stroke the shaft. Pay most attention to the frenulum. Keeping the shaft skin tight with the other hand can add to the guy's pleasure. Mix it up and lick or caress the balls while you stroke. Ask him if what you're doing feels good. Avoid teeth. If you want him to cum in your mouth, tell him at least few times so he's not worried about having to pull out. The same is true of swallowing. If you want to do it, tell him you can't wait to taste and swallow his cum to heighten his arousal. If you want to swallow, some women find it easiest if they swallow a few times as the guy ejaculates. Others like to keep it all in their mouths to swallow at once. Some guys get turned on if you show them the cum before you swallow it. If you're not into cum in your mouth, ask him to cum on your boobs or wherever you're comfortable with it.
Some guys' dicks get very sensitive when they cum or right afterwards so you may need to stop what you're doing for a few seconds until it passes. I find it feels best if my SO keeps my dick in her mouth without sucking or stroking when I get sensitive. After it passes she squeezes any cum remaining in the shaft to swallow.

abc3643 · Accepted Answer

A big reason that the male orgasm happens (best) from head is when there is a very steady rhythm stimulating the tip. "Deep throating" is not such a big deal because all that does is simulate the experience of being in the warm wet snug vagina. During intercourse, it is the tip being touched and stimulated that causes excitement and orgasm.

Keep in mind, all the best BJs are also a bit of a hand job as well so don't be afraid to give your mouth a break.

And don't forget the balls! They get lonely and are STARVING for female attention. So, sometimes use your fingers or hand such as cupping or teasing testicles or the penis.

Google "Fellucia Blow" and STUDY those videos. Those women are experts at fellatio and genuinely love it. The sensuous BJ really is best both for the guy and for the woman. Watch and notice how easily they do it yet aren't choking or getting sick. And watch how they switch between mouth and fingers.

Also, look into videos for:

A) lingam massage (tantric massage for the male genitalia)
B) yoni massage (tantric massage for the female genitalia - he should return the favor).

That said, consider studying good hand-job videos. All you then have to do is imagine doing what the woman is doing with her hands and fingers, but instead replace with lips, tongue, and mouth.
I'd upload a video, but it is not safe for G@G. PM if you want the links to two such videos.

purplepoppy · Accepted Answer

Your right, forgot all the porn stuff, that's done for the camera. Instead keep it simple, envelope the penis in your mouth at a comfortable depth and just bob and suck. The sucking just keeps the pressure right, its the head bobbing that does the trick. Truth is unless you bite it off he's going to enjoy so don't worry.

NamerOfStars · Answer

Others have given more technical advice, so I'll just add: don't worry too much about not being good if you're inexperienced and/or out of practice. Yes, you want to do it well, but reading up on it only gives you theoretical information; skill takes practice. Unless you start biting down, or squeezing too hard, it's hard to do a BJ badly; perhaps the best advice I can give is to watch his reactions to what you do, and go from there. It probably wouldn't go astray to let him know you're a little apprehensive beforehand, and ask for feedback afterwards (something like "Did you like when I [insert specific maneuver here]?" is probably better than a generic "How'd I do?").

And although it's a bit more personality-dependent, you might score some points by periodically asking him to drop his pants, because you've read up on a new BJ trick you want to try- as others have already noted here, it's as much an act of love as one of sex, sometimes more so, and while men usually see the two things as separate more than women do, that doesn't mean we don't want and value both. Although many men don't think of it in these terms, and would probably deny it if asked directly, we, too, like to feel loved and desired, and showing that you want to please him, even to the extent of going out of your way on your own initiative to learn to do it better, sends that message. Do be aware, though, that men aren't as sex-obsessed as culture would have you believe, and he may not want to be interrupted at something; him saying "Sure, but can it wait a little bit? I'm in the middle of something, here" isn't a rejection of you.

Guy13 · Answer

Realistically, practice until you get it Right. No man is likely to tell you what’s good and not unless you express an interest in knowing.

Dragonstarterplus · Answer

The key ingredient to a good blowjob is enthusiasm, so however you do it just do it with enthusiasm

Citizenkirk · Answer

Think trashy thoughts, relax, avoid biting with teeth (don't chew like beef jerky, it hurts the guy. 6th grade camp taught me that) and relax and enjoy yourself. I know I said that already, but it's important. If you are nervous, he will be nervous. No One will cum. You'll both look and feel pretty dumb.
Therefore, relax and enjoy yourself without shame or guilt. Good luck and may the force be with you👨‍🎤👩‍🎤

Dargil · Answer

No porn tips here.
*A blowjob is not passionate sex. It is nurturing sexual therapy.
*Get him hard and ready by an erotic massage. A little anal fingering can speed up the process but watch how close he comes to orgasm. Bucking and heavy breathing means he is too close unless you want him to cum.
*The best blow job combines properly timed use of hands and mouth. Your mouth focuses on the head and your hand strokes the shaft. That is what a penis wants.
*Gradually build sexual arousal/tension. Do not slow down or pause. He can lose momentum and the blow job can fail.
*Edge him if you want him to last longer but be sure not to let him fade before building to orgasm.
*When you are ready for him to cum, bob and suck as quickly as you can sustain for maybe 3 minutes. Stroke as fast as you can with a moderate grip.
*When ejaculation starts, stop ALL mouth motion. Moderate sucking only.
*Slow down, but keep on stroking to the last squirt. If you can master it, stroke between the later squirts but pause during the squirt.
*Stay locked on sucking lightly until he drains and unplugs.
*A skilled blow job is not slutty. It's Girl Power. It's an act of love and nothing else makes a man feel more loved. If you get really good at it and will give it whenever he asks, it is cheating insurance. And, there's this:

Wise4myage · Answer

Don’t forget to play with his balls.

Alextry · Answer

If you want I can show you the best places to kick during the blowjob

PinkPrincess8 · Answer

go slow, focus on the tip, no hands, swallow

OddBeMe · Answer

Pretend the dick is the best popsicle you’ve ever seen. And you want it to last.

Waldoe · Answer

Imagine it is a hard candy lollipop... attack it like you would some sweet hard candy... you want to lick and suck until you find the soft candy center, No biting and No teeth... it hurts like hell, and you won't get the sweet creamy candy center