Why would a guy go from being sweet and gentle with me to almost raping me?

[ElizaPam]

This guy whos really a friends with benefits started out being so gentle and sweet with me. I can only have anal because I'm trans so sex can be super scary and painful. He's huge and taking him is a sensation I've never felt kinda like losing my virginity all over again but it's not easy taking him. The first time we had sex was doggy and his thrusts were kind and gentle and he stopped after I started bleeding. The 2nd time was missionary and it felt we were making love it made me so happy! I thought he'd never hurt me because he acted so scared of hurting me. So the last time we had sex I thought I was in for something absolutely beautiful. He said doggy so I thought he was worried about hurting me since doggy is an easier position for us during anal. I NEVER expected what happened. After a few normal thrusts he snarled something super mean and called me a bitch it was so scary I never heard him sound so mean! Then he started jackhammering me. My moans of pleasure became one long wail of pain and I tried to crawl away and he just pinned me down. I was scared to say stop because it would've been even worse if he ignored me. He stopped jackhammering me and I thought he realized he was hurting me and it was finally over but as soon as I was moaning in pleasure he started doing it again. I tried not to stay quiet because I hate giving a man the satisfaction of seeing or hearing how much his weenie is hurting me but after a while I just gave up and started screaming.

I'm so sad. I haven't been treated like that since my ex from 2016. But he hurt even more because he's so big... Why do guys get off on making sex painful for us? It's not fair. He knew I expected sweetness and kisses and gave me no warning or anything. I'm scared to ever have sex with him again I'm heartbroken that guys like making me suffer and I don't understand why he would put me through that when he always treated me so sweet and gentle before. I really wish I could be attracted to women instead.

[nonratracereality]

Since I'm using dual apparatuses I will answer your question as neutral unbiased and as I see it The Code. My sexual preferences are not up for discussion because everybody is entitled to their own standards. Now since your trans I understand that the only way of intercourse is anal. Addressing your issue in the beginning you MUST realize you are not the status quo since the beginning of time nevertheless there has to be a complete understanding of self before one engages in a relationship or connection you hope. As far as his behavioral swing from with it it to what happened is something he is going through, not coming to grips with and is attempting to avoid by concealing it with other actions, behavior and attitude that is totally opposite of the temperament he had when he first started. Through time evaluation of self, actions and decisions something in his life changed! Point blank no notice. What he thought isn't what he thought and he's trying to go through with it the best way he can and unfortunately the one factor that must always be there or your union is doomed. You are not the center of his love but the center of his confusion at himself and he's too proud to talk to you. So one of the main stays of any union is communication and since unbeknownst to you he smoothed over your confidence to allow his assertion of self on you and justify to himself all is well. As a result of his sexual frustration and actions its only going to increase and will not be pretty. Your question on guys making sex painful can play a part in education and learning. If you learn every way about human behavior, perception, curiosity, emotion and position which sucks because there should not be a pecking order. If you have sex but didn't learn it in a course or various experiences were learned experiences which increase your ability to use technique, skill and application in the lovemaking process. If a man or woman is not on the same page whatever started will go south as it is here. If your partner is not as experienced or is shy or naive they won't be that active thus implying you font have that much experience and it shows when two come together as one it's supposed to be sacred but when when teo come together and it feels like one that's what's happening here. The persin is going through an issue that they cannot discuss or disclose with you as a result it gets worse. You must meet people on your level if choice or intelligence otherwise you will continue having situations of this nature. So it starts with you. Someone to really be with you not to want to be with you didn't find out all the particulars and now has mud all over their because they didn't know! They too are naive unsure and can have a problem solving difficult situations. You didn't screw up they did but because you should have expert skills when sending people know your preference and truthfully come forward. That's where you go. Thats like me going out with a woman of excellence and beauty only to find out she can friend not live because she is a lesbian. See what I mean? It's my fault because she concealed it well from me but my experience prepares me for all situations. Look forward to answering your deepest essential questions.

[Anonymous]

He's establishing that HE'S the dominant one and that you're his bitch.

Use more lube and take it like a man.

Tell him, I don't really mind that you want to be the strong, virile, studley one in this relationship. How about you start slow, keep adding lube until I'm very well stretched and THEN pound me? At least I'll have had a chance to relax and accommodate your monster cock!

Do you think you could do that for me?

I don't mind giving you all you want, or even having rough sex, but damn hunny, don't rip my asshole out!

[Ez-Bri-Z]

Jesus girl... im terribly sorry to hear that happened.

Not sure what was going through his mind but clearly not anything intelligent.

You going to be ok?

[ElizaPam]

I'll be ok I've survived worse from men I trusted I'm just sad this happened again I was hoping it wouldn't

[Ez-Bri-Z]

It shouldn't happen at all. You deserve better from your partners.

[ElizaPam]

Is this normal? I used to think the guys God made for us would be exra sweet! Maybe it's the opposite. Everything about being trans is bad there's no special happiness for me

[Ez-Bri-Z]

It's common enough to have stats and campaigns about but not enough to be expected. No matter how we were made, free will determines who we are. There will be happiness for you though.

[JohnK123]

Are we not gonna say the fact about her background

[Ez-Bri-Z]

No. Her background has nothing to do with how she was treated. Nobody deserves to be put through that. Beaides what specifically are you trying to even call out here?

[JohnK123]

Oh I don’t know Maybe the confederate flag

[Ez-Bri-Z]

And? I dont have to support her politics to care about her as a person.

[JohnK123]

Politics? It’s not politics It’s white supremacy It’s racism

[Ez-Bri-Z]

And? You think that's ok she got treated like that despite it? I'm more worried about your line of thinking than I am about hers at the moment.

[JohnK123]

How do u know for sure she’s telling the truth All Ik from evidence is that she supports a racist group and anti democratic movement Which undermines the idealogy of america

[Ez-Bri-Z]

Wrong. This country says we are all equal but supports conflicting ideas. They don't have to think we are equal as long as in the end they treat us like one. Under no circumstances was non consensual sex acts supported. If she is lying, its abhorrent, but she seems to be pretty open about herself and I dont have a reason to doubt her currently.

[JohnK123]

How do u know it’s a girl anyways It could be a 10 year old boy

[Ez-Bri-Z]

How do I know you aren't? She's a girl and has put up several photos of herself before and after transition if I remember correctly

[JohnK123]

Bc u talked to me before lmao Then just ask @daniela1982

[Ez-Bri-Z]

I wouldn't talk to her if you asked and paid me to. She is a racist.

[Sabretooth]

that flag is a symbol of hatred and intolerance. she may feel that a mutual hatred might protect her... they hate her just as much.

[JohnK123]

@ez-bri-z how is she a racist? Does she have a pic of a confederate flag?

[Ez-Bri-Z]

I'm not talking about her. She is a racist and I refuse to acknowledge her again. Thanks.

[Daniela1982]

Stop making your bull shit posts and get a life. No one believes you are even a trans, but just an attention whore.

I'm a trans and deserve special attention.

[ElizaPam]

What about this is bullshit? Why would I lie about being trans? Or about sex that left me feeling bad?

[JohnK123]

Cough* your background

[Daniela1982]

You are so full of shit!!

[sunflower00]

Omg that’s horrible. I would stay away from him if I were you :( I’m so sorry you had to experience that

[JohnK123]

I’m sorry I have to listen to this crap How can u take her seriously Did u not see the background

[ElizaPam]

I always dreamed of a sweet and gentle man and I really hope I find him some day! Thank you. I hope you never have to experience a man doing this kind of stuff to you

[TheMajesticKing777]

Lying is easy, anyone can lie, someone can pretend to be something and be something completely different

[Randalama]

The big dick always hurts. It's physics, not toxicity. Much better than feeling nothing at all which is what most people do these days.

[ElizaPam]

Yeah it hurt with the gentle thrusts. It was agony when he jackhammered me.

[ElizaPam]

You guys need to realize being jackhammered in the pussy is one thing but in the butt HURTS LIKE HELL

[Randalama]

Time to get a new hobby. Jigsaw puzzles?

[Randalama]

Apologies if I was insensitive. 4 in the morning and I'm on the third bottle.

[ElizaPam]

Men being insensitive to women's pain that's nothing new

[Randalama]

Oh dear, now I feel terrible. I'm sorry that your O-ring is puckered and inflamed. I'm sorry your triggered. Try lube. Try abstinence. Frankly my dear, it's simply not that important.

[ElizaPam]

Why are you guys so mean to us we love me, cook for them, clean up after them, keep them satisfied which can be really annoying and we grow birth and raise your babies yet we get treated so mean in return

[Randalama]

Fair enough. Cutie pie.

[888theGreat]

I would figure he liked oral better.

[Waldoe]

I think... it is about "POWER" it sucks, but hurting your lover with your cock is NOT love... it's an asshole move, just to prove to yourself that you are the Master... asshole

[JohnK123]

People!!! It’s a lie
just ask fellow gag people below
she also has a flipping confederate flag

[ElizaPam]

Why does having a rebel flag background imply that I'm making up a story? You can believe what you want but Im not making anything up.

[JohnK123]

It’s not a rebel flag

[ElizaPam]

Where are you from? The UK?

[JohnK123]

California loser The North

[ElizaPam]

Ok well Im from Tennessee and that flag isn't what you think it is hoss

[JohnK123]

Then what is it

[Deku2009]

I say dump his ass and block his phone number . He is a jerk that doesn’t deserve you. You need to be treated better then that.

[Sabretooth]

this is the life that you've chosen. your political beliefs, the way you live your life... this is what you get due to the life that you've chosen and the people that you've chosen to surround yourself with. you were a male who transitioned as a female but you put all your effort into changing what you are--that you never changed who you are. until you do that... this. will. be. your. life.

[ElizaPam]

What do you mean I never changed who I am?

[Sabretooth]

who never changed who you are as a person. I read one of your convocations where you you talked about who you where as a male vs who you are now... you where just as miserable now as you where then. you where a loser then and you're a loser now because of this.

[ElizaPam]

What does this have to do with being put through agonizing and degrading sex for a guys pleasure and amusement

[Sabretooth]

life is often what you make of it--a fact that most trans girls don't learn... they're often their own worst enemy... one has a pretty good life right now but is obsessed with wanting SRS that's she has no time to even bathe and her relationship to suffer. she'll have destroyed herself for this: www.reddit.com/.../ when she doesn't need to.

[ElizaPam]

I dont know what your point is what are you trying to say please elaborate. I just wish I could be loved and respected by a sweet and gentle man

[Sabretooth]

then figure out what it is about you that attracts them to you. I mean, the beliefs you hold kinda and the life indicate that this is the kinda thing that will continue to happen until you reexamine yourself.

[ElizaPam]

I wasn't the way I am now when I was 18 and being raped by my first boyfriend. I have learned not to tell guys I like bdsm because they'll use that as an excuse to rape me.

[Sabretooth]

and yet... here you are.

[ElizaPam]

Yeah it might just be that men like hurting women with sex

[Sabretooth]

it might just be easier to accept that men like hurting women with sex, you mean.

[Anonymous]

I thought girls are supposed to like big pees this makes no sense to me now

[ElizaPam]

We do love big weenies but not when theyre being used to iackhammer our butts ==