Have you ever had consensual sex with someone you really did not want to, that you did not love, but felt you had no other good choice?

[Aerissa_Jade]

Some situations often lead to less than ideal options/choices. Freedom of choice isn't quite as free when you have bad choice A or bad choice B.

Pick your pain or poison.

I don't think people realize how often people have sex when they do not want to.

Could be for any reason, such as going back to an ex so he'll give you some money for food as you have none but you know he'll help you out.

Someone might be desperate to avoid being homeless or other reasons. Might be stuck in a bad relationship you cannot figure out how to get out of, no family or support of any kind to leave.

I understand in marriage you love someone and even if not interested would be willing to help please them but I'm not referring to someone you love and care about.

I am referring to situations where someone does not want to but does not feel they have an good alternative.

I have some friends that when covid shut down the clubs, they could not make any money being exotic dancers and turned to selling their bodies and they never wanted to do that, but felt they had no choice if they didn't want to end up starving and living on the street where they would be at a greater risk. The clubs have since re-opened and they are no longer doing that.

I have also recently met a girl, who is 20 years old that is going back to her EX who she hates (he is violent) to have sex with him because he gives her money for food so she won't starve. She is currently working 60 hours a week but can only barely afford the high rent and other costs with the massive inflation we've had going on.

Have you ever had sex with someone you did not want to because you felt you had no other good options? If so what was your situation?

This will be a Yes or No question and I'll leave it open for all, as I can relate to this from a woman's point of view but I have no doubt some men may relate as well.

[ohshee]

This is a very hard question because I have to be honest and I think my last past two relationships were like that because I was just trying to be nice and help somebody and one thing started leading to another to another and that put the brakes on and said look I like you and everything but if we do this is just not going to work out I already know it and then you hear their come back through story and why and how it will and blah blah blah and I know down deep it's not going to but I went ahead and had sex anyway and then that's where the problem starts LOL
Because they liked the sex they think it's love and it's not it's just me and I told them this was going to happen but I tried to make it work and it just was not going to work I mean I even was in a relationship for almost two years with the girl and I knew it wasn't going to work each day just got worse and worse until I couldn't take it anymore and I had to tell her to leave and then it took me another five months to get her out of my house because she had no place to go and the whole thing was just messed up I finally bought her an airline ticket to send her back to her mom's house in Colorado and I did not leave that airport until I did not see that jet airplane disappear I did not want to see it coming back LOL but yes I have twice and that's what sucks

[Malgaran]

I have never done this myself, but I totally get what you mean. In the US this seems much more common, I know several people who purposely had to put themselves in an awful situation like this to avoid being homeless or starving. I can't believe how high the rent seem to be in the US. Here in Norway, we have something called a right to live, roughly translated. So you basically can get money to survive and get by, everyone is entitled to this. You can have your rent paid in full, and your power bill. The money you get you can spend on food or whatever you want.

So over here, if you are in a bad situation, you don't have to prostitute yourself to get by or purposely put yourself in less ideal situations like that in order to just simply have a roof over your head as well as some food. I'm from what is often considered the most expensive country in the world, but if you really compare it to say the states, in total the average American pay so much more in bills and taxes than we do with our taxes "high" taxes, for so much less too, although while on right to live plan, you don't pay taxes.

[Crazycookie23]

Yep, I did.
I actually lost my virginity that way. He liked me way more than I liked him and while I spent all that time grieving over my ex that I was still in love with, he tried everything he could to get me to get over that ex and none of it worked.
I was at a dark place in my life at that time and my mother was so strict on me that I wasn't allow to even look at the opposite sex until I was 18, and at that point I was 19 going on 20. So since we had a little thing going, I figured it was the perfect opportunity to experience what sex had felt like for the first time.
It was terrible but, at that time, I was just finally happy that I got it out of the way so that I could stop being pressured about it and feeling left out. Highly regret, but you live and you learn..

[laurieluvsit]

Yes, I have seen girls in that situation. It is very sad.

I also saw some comments that they have a choice. Sure they do but it is not that easy as the people saying that don't understand the feeling of helplessness that can be there.

Very few prostitutes want to do what they do but don't know any other way to make the amount of money they need to survive.

I don't like people criticizing anyone in this position when they really don't understand it. It's not fair.

[CrazyGirl2]

Ooooh! I got all the way through it go up and then read your update! So I guess my answer would have to be NO, with a slight caveat that your update precluded me from writing about.

[little_bird1]

Yes, when they were very persistent and pushy and manipulating. When someone says no to sex any further advances should stop immediately. Many guys don't care and they keep on trying even when rejected.

[19magic]

Terrible consequence no but I have had sex with a couple of guys I didn't want to have sex with and incidently the guys I didn't want were also the worse lays. So I do get it in a way but have never truly experienced it

[weysally]

yes my second boyfriend

[ChrisMaster69]

Yeah I have, for pretty much a year I would have sex with any girl,

when I was 16, I went through a phase of getting into fights, basically self harm.

later on after some other stuff, I went through a phase of just abusing myself but using other people to do it.

tapping off with different girls on other nights to avoid going back to an empty house.

really shallow shit, asking a girl what car she drove, and if you had not had sex with someone that drove a BMW, you chatted her up and invariably went back to hers.

It’s really crazy what we can put ourselves through at times.

Also a lot of different clubs n places including London including clubs where some people worked lol

[Aerissa_Jade]

Thanks, but was any of those times where you felt like you didn't really have a choice, like you didn't want to have sex with someone but still felt like you had to?

[ChrisMaster69]

@aerissa_jade yes multiple times, it was that or face an empty house, where I was sort of using this rather than cutting or some other self harm approach. Not a great point in time lol

[RobT312]

Nope, I have only had sex with people I wanted to at the time, not that I haven’t made mistakes, but don’t have any regrets about any relationships or hookups. They have always been with women I had some kind of connection with

[Chlo3_2001]

Not sex but of the same nature. I have felt scared and pressured to do things I didn't want to do and was continually hassled in to doing those things by another person.

[ObscuredBeyond]

No, because that's messed up. I've been conned into sex on false pretenses, but she did get me to fall in love first. If I felt she were trying to blackmail me for sex when I wanted nothing to do with her, I'd fight back.

Sexual blackmail is something I have very little if any respect for. It's beyond douchey, to say nothing of probably highly illegal.

[DeeDeeDeVour]

Sex with someone I didn't love at that moment? Yes.
Sex just to "settle" for someone? No.

[Aerissa_Jade]

This question was more about, having sex with someone you didn't want to but felt you had no real viable choice, due to the terrible consequences if you didn't.

[SkipPerk]

Being a young man sucks. You cannot say no to sex without looking bad, so you are forced to allow disgusting women to touch you. The worst is when they then complain about your lack of arousal. The best part of growing up is never needing to put up with that again.

Personally, I think marriage is great because no one can ever expect intimacy from you again save the one you chose.

[FreyaRed]

No. I don't have any problems to say no.

[Harleigh90]

Thankful never been in a situation like this, because I would be able too sleep with some random guy. Can relate as you know I used to dance in a club too. But personally id have to found a different way to earn money.

[xboxfan1213]

Can I ask you a question

[Harleigh90]

Depends what it is

[xboxfan1213]

Could you date a very attractive man if he only has a average penis size

[Harleigh90]

Oh ffs🤦‍♀️ No definitely not it's needs to over 9inchs Inn length and 4inchs girth... 🙄

[xboxfan1213]

Oh for real? I guess I’ll be lonely forever

[Aerissa_Jade]

That was interesting when I updated my resume and started interviews. Your old job was WHAT?

[Harleigh90]

😆 And when you try to demonstrate your customer service skills! 🤣 you can see the uncertainty in their face! Lol

[Aerissa_Jade]

@harleigh90 Pretty much, lucky for me they put me in a room and had me do a fake customer call and I aced it. I seriously thought I sucked at it, but the guy was like wow you were calm and cool and didn't know shit but you still BS through that fake call. I think he also had a thing for me, so he hired me... but what can I say, if it meant a job. Maybe he felt sorry for me, or was trying to help me so I wouldn't go back to the old job, I'll never know he got promoted and moved on.

[ninjastaar]

I just posted a question about what a wrong for instead of being angry at my choice instead I made it into an educational video:)

[Diodoro]

Did not love? Absolutely

Did not want to? No. Not even at my lowest

[melanieeeB]

Sounds like rape to me tho

[NathanDavis]

nope... I am not like that

[ShadezMcgee]

Nope. The women I have slept with were ones I wanted to.

[shaysh87]

Yes. When guys go out on a date with me, they automatically assume that there will be sex at the end of the date. Often times I do give in, because it is todays norm and everyone does it. But at the bottom of my heart , I really don’t want to.

[jshm2]

That's called an "unhappy marriage" kiddo

[Kaneki05]

Never had such an option but I don't see how that could be a bad thing tbh. Like in your example of Ex well I must've found my Ex attractive in someway to want her in the first place therefore I would be fine with having sex with them.
Even if I hated them there is Hate fuck for a reason. Seems like a win win from my view.
But I am a virgin and horny so there is that.

[CrazyGirl2]

That has nothing to do with feeling like you have no choice, and you have to have sex with someone you don’t want to.

[Kaneki05]

@CrazyGirl2 Think the asker was clear I have a choice just a bad one but I made it clear to me it wouldn't be a bad one anyway, and no choice does = rape which this question is not about.