Why do some guys only want a hook up but not a relationship? Is it because of the girls?

[Anonymous]

This guy I used to work with said guys will only boo up 10/10 girls and the ones below average they will just use for sex

is this true?

so for example will a girl like this ever be used for sex or will she always be seen as girlfriend material due to her looks?

Will guys always view her as girlfriend material and not a booty call?

surely guys don’t just go off looks? Surely it’s 50/50.. But I could be wrong

Updates:

[MrOracle]

It's more complicated than that. But I will give you some generalizations.

Some guys inherently value and want relationships - upbringing, taught values, and the relationships they see growing up plays a big role - and some guys just want the sex, and perhaps the status - without the hassle, limitations, and responsibilities of a relationship. Generally, the lower the moral expectations they learned growing up, the less likely they are to want a relationship.

But the traits that most women find the most attractive tend to be associated with men who are NOT very moral. If you look at the men that most women find really attractive, they are usually good-looking, successful, confident, outgoing, and many (if not most) are also very self-centered, aggressive, and sexually promiscuous. "Moral" is just not a word that you would use to describe most such men, so it's no surprise that such men tend not to act morally.

The guys who have reasonably high morals are considered to be boring and unexciting by most women, and tend to get overlooked unless they are also good-looking or really successful, which is rare. Morals are somewhat limiting and predictable, and women, especially in the social media age, tend to view those things about as desirable as pedophila.

Women have never been more hypergamous than the last 20 years, with most women competing for the top 10% of men (based on Instagram Value), and feeling like she is "settling" if she has to drop down into the next 10% down to find a boyfriend - but that means she is only considering the men who are overwhelmingly driven by their own selfish desires rather than by morality (with only rare exceptions).

And while being ultra pretty might get a girl in a relationship with one of those really desirable guys that normally wouldn't date an 8/10 girl, it won't change the kind of guy he is, and that kind of guy will still cheat on her. Look at Brad Pitt or Tiger Woods - Brad cheated on Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie (and every other girl he dated), and Tiger was married to a Swedish model. Being ultra desirable women got them a top man, but not fidelity.

If a woman wants fidelity, she's almost always going to have to avoid those top 20% men, and she's going to have to choose the man based on his morals and values above other factors. Even more, she's going to have to be attractive to such men, by which I mean her own morals will need to be high, and that such men tend to be "traditional" and thus want traditional women, and not so much "modern", career-driven women.

[ObscuredBeyond]

That's just a picture. That doll could be anything underneath. While hookups are not the answer, some men believe the false notion that they have some obligation to be always screwing something.

And a relationship has never been a more dangerous proposition; because we live in a society where the antics of crazy chicks has never been more tolerated / celebrated by Karens and Kevins.

The doll could be a healthy candidate for best wife ever; and be rational, affectionate, smart, feminine, modest, love God, etc. Or, she could be just a facade, hiding a batshit crazy witch beneath that veneer of cute and beauty.

Not all men know how to instantly read all the cues, to know which one they've wound up with. Not everyone has a fully functional red flag sensor, that can detect every kind of red flag.

But after you've witnessed a few too many red flags in a few too many women, you begin to question your own judgment with them in particular. And to the formation and maintenance of healthy relationships, that lack of confidence is nuclear waste! The man neither trusts women at that point, nor does he entirely trust himself. After all: why should he trust himself, if he keeps falling for batshit crazy witches?

No relationship can ever mature in an environment where there is no faith. And faith is hard to keep alive, when the objects of faith are worthless.

[Babygirl_S]

This is a key feature of the Western culture. The goal is to find someone you can have the best sex with. I can understand why women who live in those countries undergo plastic surgeries at a higher rate. It is because what you can control like your behaviour, education etc is not important at all. This also leads to a rise in the number of gold diggers, "sugar babies" etc. in such countries as they need money for surgeries and non surgical cosmetic treatments. These women are not at fault because they know that ultimately it's only their looks that are valued.
In my country a man would never marry a girl simply because she looks good. She has to be a good person, virgin, highly educated etc. All these things are taken into consideration. I think women are extremely objectified in the Western countries and men have to be super rich to be considered important.
It is always a good idea in such countries to stay a virgin instead of being used even though you'd literally be swimming against the current of the society. Finding a man who is ready to get married without having sex should be the goal.
A woman is worth more than what she looks like. Hookup culture of the West is a disease that is spreading to other countries but at a slow rate. It needs to be stopped.

[ItsMeElliana]

see, this is where you're wrong. your first half of the question was enough. you didn't have to put in accusing women for it
women use men as hookups too. its not something sexist.
maybe because they dont want to be in an actual relationship with that person but find them extremely attractive enough just for sex. maybe they're not looking for a relationship. there could be so many reasons.
you sound like someone did that to you, or youve seen it happen and got upset. other than that i have no idea why youd ask such a question

[ManOnFire]

I would say that girl will still be seen as both hookup and girlfriend material by men, although she is not particularly my type.

As crazy as this may sound, I feel like many more women than men are the ones interested in the hookup lifestyle these days. You will find many men who do want an actual girlfriend.

[virtue2332]

That guy is a fool you can find something wrong with everyone if you look hard enough so you would never find that 10/10. People should understand that it's okay for either sex to hook up. There just needs to be communication and be safe about it. I've had more hook ups than I will admit. Most of them were just physical and alright. I learned a few things got better at certain things and came to the conclusion that somethings are not meant for me. It all led me to who I'm with now. I didn't expect it or plan for it, it just happened. The best trick I learned during those hookups was so simple. I learned how to communicate what it was that I liked and made sure she knew that it was important that she was comfortable and free to tell me show me what she knew she liked or thought she might like. It all clicked and it continues to get better and better. I think sex is important in all relationships but it takes more than running through the motions to make it and your relationship rewarding. For me relationship sex is the best. I'll put it like this traveling around can be fun a exciting. It's worth the experience not saying it's not. At some point you will realize that coming home when things are organized and maintained the way you like it is special and hard to beat. If you get the urge to travel again talk it over there is nothing wrong with traveling together.

[Rambling010]

Because girls can be annoying and bothersome. Why not just get the sex and avoid having to hear the bickering and whining. I had a girl once that would just stand around Wildwood playlist baseball game that I was into at the time. Anger you just roll the dice and had a board. But it was pretty complex. She would just stand there and smoke a bowl of weed and talk for literally like 3 hours. I just got to the point where I could take her out like she wasn't there. Eventually I got an EPO on her because I thought she was going to kill me in my sleep. . When she was doing her talk and I was playing the game may have been some of the most peaceful time we had together.

I found a girl who doesn't do that eventually. Into my early 30s. God set this up. I swear only by fate could we still be alive and still be together. Years of heroin addiction together, and I'm a basket case some of the time because of mental issues. 40% suicide rate of the males on my mom's side of the family. I'm emotional I guess you could call it. But if it wasn't for my wifes stable nature to balance out my unstable one, I would likely prefer to be single. Men do it too though. When I'm talking about the bickering and fussing. I do it more than my wife. I wouldn't want to be with me. Lol

[Anonymous]

Honestly it could go either way. A man may not be ready to settle down just yet so he may want to hit that then quit it. Initially yes looks are what usually draw us in, but there’s a lot more to it. I’ve met women who I thought were gorgeous, that I could see myself w them in a long term relationship only to find out they had horrible personalities. It depends on a number of things like personality. That will beat looks any day if she’s a horrible person. While the girl in the pic is gorgeous I’d probably just hit it. She’s not the type of girl I’d like to be w. I love Hispanic women. Sometimes men will take the plain Jane over the hot ass Barbie because Barbie may require too much upkeep, she may have an attitude as well because she knows she’s hot that men are willing to do whatever to please her. Let’s say this girl in this pic was known to blow more horns than a train, men aren’t going to want that. They may try to get at her to blow them as well but chances are they’re not going to want to marry her cause she’s had more meat in her than a freezer. I hope this all makes sense to you.

[Lionman95]

No that´s not true. I think it totally depends on the guy and how he values his chances with women. The guy you were talking is probably very confident.
But many guys out there aren´t. I´m one of those who isn´t very confident. I don´t take a woman´s look for what I want to do with her.
For me the character is more important because a relationship is a mixture of emotional and physical connection.
If a feel like we share the similar interests, the same values and have a similar sense of humor that would be a good fundament for a relationship, looks alone are not enough to answer that question.

[TheSpaceGnome]

It's a bit more complicated than that.

Some guys are like that, others only want hookups, and others won't have casual sex at all and only want commitment, and for all of those, what they consider a 10 will vary.

I only want a committed relationship, I get nothing out of casual sex because I don't need help reaching an orgasm, I don't want kids, and I don't want stds. And the available forms of protection against those things are garbage in terms of effectiveness.

Also if the girl in that pic doesn't play the video games I like, she's a 1, not a 10 to me.
Same goes for a slew of other personality type dealbreakers.

[Anonymous]

The best way to say this I think is to reverse it. When a woman doesn't want one (and some don't), it's usually not the guy at all right? Meaning there's other reasons (or can be) why they don't want a relationship period, no matter who it's with or how great the guy is. It's that very same thing. You're (women) probably taking it too personally, when it's simply they don't want a relationship period, no matter the girl. At least that's the case with me, and always has been. I mean, of course you can meet different people that you are more willing to be in a relationship with, but that's not what I'm talking about, I'm saying before we've even met likely, I've already "decided" in my head if I want (or open) to a relationship or not.

[Anonymous]

Yes. There's a threshold were my body might react to her and there's an opportunity, but she really isn't the kind of attractive you'd look for in the long term. So that's a hit it and quit it situation. The attraction threshold is below the commitment threshold. In the extreme cases with fat uglyish girls, those are called slampigs. It's not just looks, like if she has the vibe of being a party girl or has had a few previous partners, then it's like okay this obviously isn't a girl to be taken seriously, not a girl to be respected, you have fun and move on to girls who are real prospects for a long term relationship.

[Anonymous]

Stop being a simp and blaming yourself for the fault of horny and characterless pigs.
Their behavior is unacceptable, why are you taking responsibility for it?
It's because of their degenerate character. Males are pigs by nature. Even a decent, honest and smart woman is used as a sex toy. Rapists gonna rape anyone with a pussy.

[therealzeroworries]

You've gotta understand and know why he/she is in a relationship with you. If it's for sex, you'll know no matter how the guy is after a month or two or if you are critical tho, you would see some advances in his relation with you.
A guy who is with a lady for sex can be friendly and flirty, tryna touch you or demands/possessive for kisses even when it's obvious you ain't in the mood.

[Dumbaszx]

She's jus been hurt by one guy and now making accusations and stereotypes about men off of her own bitterness

It's no different than me witnessing one girl be a bitch, and then saying all girls are bitchesShe's definitely wrong about guys only wanting 10/10 girls, some like me have low standards and 5/10 and above is good enough... Yes we mainly use girls for sex.. but that's all girls... 10/10 or 5/10... That's the whole point of a girlfriend, you use them for sex or for love, and since I'm not emotional and I don't experience love, sex is their only purpose for me

[Phoenix-gb]

Couldn't say for those guys, I'd love to find a relationship but so far no luck whatsoever. Right now, mutual attraction, no current kids but wanting them, and not a vegan/vegetarian, and I'd be trying to become everything she wanted so I can escape the dating world.

[imjustadude]

Sometimes the biggest issue with a girl like that is that every guys wants to hook up with her. A guy might get tired of having his hand stabbed every time he tries to get the last big juicy steak off the plate and may settle for the hamburger on the side.

[maverick2022]

I feel like so many girls have become what I would consider "bottom of the barrel". Girls that you don't want to spend much time around to be honest. They are obnoxious, unapologetic, entitled, crude, indulgent, argumentative, and narcissistic. Seems like the new normal is women tricking a man into impregnating her at 36 right before her fertility runs out and she becomes a shell in society.

[JSmuve]

It's because when a guy commits to exclusivity with a girl, he's foregoing his opportunity to have sex with other girls. So he's going to want to pick the most attractive girl he can get. He's going to want to lock her down before another guy does and he loses access to her. However, if looks is the only factor a guy uses to determine commitment, then he's probably not going to be in too many emotionally satisfying relationships.

[Anonymous]

Are you sure that's a guy? The widely held belief is that 10/10 women are make-believe, photo edited or artificial ("aka, Unicorns"). Everyone has their flaws, so that guy is just setting an unrealistic precedent to excuse his behaviour.

My mutual crush is the lady of my dreams; I want to hug her and love her, and make her happy. I Do Not want to use people. Maybe it's because of my religious upbringing, but I using people is not only wrong, it's very short sighted.

[Anonymous]

It's due to the personality girls who are not pretty usually have. If they develop their personality they could get any type of guy they want. BUT in saying that I am not generalizing. I said any type and not any guy.

Many guys only are looking for a hook and some are looking for a serious relationship but hook up sometimes. You cannot generalize it. Every guy has his own story.

[DWornock]

You can probably find several exceptions but almost always it is looks because most everyone wants someone out of their league.

Regardless, as for the question, there is such a wide variety in behavior of guys that it is in a girl's best interest to use the good sense they should have regarding her relationship with guys.

[motownplayer2000]

I don’t think that is particularly true. But I know men don’t want to put up with a lot of the bullshit that comes with women sometime. I’m not saying all women, but there are a lot that come with BS. Just like men, so it’s much easier to fuck and leave than actually stay and pretend to like it

[Anonymous]

My opinion, it’s all about where you find the man. they are a product of how they were raised. And when they’re in a household where they aren’t taught what love even looks like. They most often search for pleasure because that’s all they’ve seen from others.