How is this even possible?

[Anonymous]

I started watching anime ever since I was 14, at 18 I started searching up half naked anime guys and I really loved the view. By the time I turned 20 I had a first ex who was a jerk to me. I remembered getting turned off by his body because it didn’t fit my expectations. I refused to follow half naked men on social media because I didn’t want to view them as sex objects. I only objectified fictional male characters most of the time and I even saved many pictures of them too. I didn’t think it would affect me so much so I chose to look at those pictures often, in the long run I realised I suddenly have expectations I didn’t think I will have. I only get turned on by hot bodies but as for normal bodies I couldn’t find myself getting turned on. I even wished if he’s my boyfriend he should be as hot as those guys! Is there any way to get rid of this expectation?

[MrOracle]

You're going to have to stop looking at those pictures, and you're going to have to start telling yourself that having shallow preferences is going to almost certainly guarantee that you're going to pick lousy partners.

The truth of men is that the majority of men - the guys who aren't ultra-hot - struggle to get women, because all the girls want hot men. But what that also means is that the ultra-hot men have TONS Of women after them, and because they do, those ultra-hot men are nearly all entitled, self-centered, selfish jerks - and they can get away with it. If he gets with a girl, and she tries to call him on his crap, or if she's just a hassle to him, he'll just dump her and replace her, because he's got a line of girls waiting to take a turn with him (all hoping to get a committed relationship with him, which normally never actually happens).

I know those guys give you "the butterflies" in your stomach, but they're usually terrible relationship partners. You can have fun with them for a weekend (if you're willing to have casual sex), but if you are hoping for a committed relationship, you are setting yourself up for a serious disappointment and emotional pain. If they agree to a relationship at all, it's usually just a matter of time before they either break up with you or cheat on you. And they will not change, because they have no reason to do so. They consider women to be replaceable, and for those guys, women ARE easily replaceable.

I know "normal" guys aren't as good-looking, and aren't as exciting, but if you want a real relationship with a REAL commitment, that's likely to be the only way you're going to get that.

Real life isn't a fairy tale - very, very few girls have a "handsome prince" waiting for her, and there's no such thing as "happily ever after." The best you can hope for is a solid, moral partner who is committed to you, and that does NOT describe the hot guys.

[Asker]

The scary thing was I thought me looking at hot fictional guys will never give me unrealistic expectations of guys in real life because they will fictional I will be like it would never happen but in the end I got turned off by men with normal bodies. I avoided looking at hot guys on Instagram but I didn’t expect looking at perfect fictional shirtless guys would make me like this.

[Asker]

* were. I apologise for the typo.

[Asker]

I agreed. Immature girls go after hot guys, a real woman is attracted to qualities as such kindness, loyalty and understanding not hot men.

[MrOracle]

The broader problem is that you spent way too much time with your fantasy "men" and not enough time with real men in the real world. It skewed your thinking. The real world is never as simple, neat, or ideal as a fantasy, but fantasies aren't ever really fulfilling. For that, you need to live in the real world.

[Dargil]

I found the same with "Hentai" Not just girls' looks but their sexual acts. Just gotta stop looking at it and delete your files.

[Anonymous]

I don't know, lot of women have high expectations.