How to deal with s*xual Trauma?

Anonymous
It’s been over a year. I went out with 2 of my friends to a club and we ran into these guys one of my friend knew. One of the guys was talking to me and kissed me at the club. So after that we all left the club together and went to a hotel. I want to add that I had a very very bad gut feeling about what was happening and I wanted to leave, but I didn’t want to leave my friends alone. Also the naive girl that I was I really thought these guys would pay rooms for me and my friends to stay together in one. So this guy I met at the club and I left to a room and made out. I remember after we were making out I was feeling bad and I was crying inside. I tried to call my friends several times but she wasn’t picking up.
So I told the guy we would NOT sleep together / have sex but only make out. And at this point I think I was making out with him by fear. Soo he ends up undressing my shirt and bra and starts to suck my nipples. I didn’t say a word. I don’t remember what I was thinking in the moment, I don’t even know how I let it go that far. I put my bra and shirt back on and he really continues with saying things like “I have a condom” and I tell him noo... so we continue making out and he makes dry hump him which was so uncomfortable because I’ve never done that before. Also he tried to finger me but I stopped him from that.
Every day since that night I’ve been thinking about everything! And yes, I know it’s all my fault, I should’ve listened to my gut and I should’ve left but I didn’t ! I didn’t want all this to happen, I was very very naive and I’m not saying this guy raped me thanks God he didn’t but I still feel sexually traumatized. I feel grossed out by myself, I feel unworthy, used. Currently considering therapy because of this! I just want to get over it, let it go, heal from this! I wish I could go back but I can’t and the flashback has been haunting me ever since...
How to deal with s*xual Trauma?
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