Being objectified by men sucks?

Xper 6

So like I'm on a break with this guy I've been sending my nudes to. And yeah it has something to do with it was getting too much, it was taking up so much of my time, cause I don't pre-capture it's in real time, cause it was easier to control the deleting of the nudes immediately than to have them in my gallery casually, I was afraid id forget. Anyway, it's only been a few days, and I already feel like I'm able to look at myself and my body in a non sexual way, it's like this huge weight off my shoulders to actually see the person, and maybe its really depressing to think about because, if I can even be warped into thinking of myself as a sexual object because that's what I was exposed to, was that side, then I don't know how men are going to see me as a person again once they do get to see me naked. It's like I don't think men go through that with women. I don't think of your dick when I think of you, I think of the last time we hung out and our jokes and what makes him special to me. I guess it's true, but I also think now, maybe that relationship if you can call it that was never going to be anything more than nudity. I'm disappointed and hurt.

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sirderpsalot123 | 297 opinions shared on Sexuality topic.
Xper 7

3 mo

I'm confused because it doesn't sound like the two of you were together. How are you "on a break" if you weren't dating? Did you make it clear that you wanted to actually be with him and it was more then just sending nudes? It you did, but continued to send the pictures, or sent them before explaining what you expected from him, I don't see how he is at fault in any way. It always starts with lust. The deeper connection is something you work your way up to. If you sent nudes, of course he is going to like what he sees.

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Is this still revelant?
- sirderpsalot123
  
  3 mo
  Sorry if I didn't read correctly and missed something.
- Kkstarzz96
  
  3 mo
  We did establish that this was more than nudes, but it still felt like nudes were at the forefront, because it took a lot of work to keep up with the demand, and he, being the guy, doesn't see what it's like to have to take certain poses and have it come out the way you want. So it's like when women say you ask for me to do this and that for you as if it's not hard. But you don't only ask, you make it seem like you earned it cause you're with me. Even though a guy is my boyfriend, I still ask him if he wants to do that, sometimes I don't get much feedback which to me means he's not interested, or that I have to be specific that I know this thing you'd do is for me, but it would make me happy so it's clearly selfish, and sometimes yes you want someone to do it just so you feel how important you are to them, even if they think it's silly or annoying
UniquelyBasic | 977 opinions shared on Sexuality topic.
Yoda

3 mo

Why did you send him nudes?

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2 People

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Is this still revelant?
- Kkstarzz96
  
  3 mo
  This was an online relationship, and if I'm being honest, I don't really know how to flirt with someone then to put up what you look like to make it real. We are on a break now cause I called the show catfish and they reached out to him and he's so mad at me lol but yeah, part of me is definitely like, I know this is my fault, but Im stupid enough to think he would come to meet me and actually be physical with me in real life not just on text
- UniquelyBasic
  
  3 mo
  You could have facetimed him without the need to give him nudes.
- Kkstarzz96
  
  3 mo
  We met on Twitter. Its like here where you don't just automatically ask for someone's number and start to video chat. Like yes it's easy, and it was easier when corona virus was here, but when we met it was still new to us, by the time I started to facetime people I was talking to cause we weren't meeting people, it was like August of 2020 and that was only cause the text was back and forth instantly, most of the time it takes weeks to get to that consistency
- Show All Show Less
- UniquelyBasic
  
  3 mo
  Talking to people online is always kinda sketchy since you can only see the persona that person wants you to see and you dont know if its real. I dont even know if your really a girl and you dont know if Im really a guy.
- Kkstarzz96
  
  3 mo
  You know a very important detail in this is, there is no online profile I have where you dont see what I look like as soon as you are on my account. I met him on Twitter where you don't have to do that, it's not like Facebook. But people connected with me on there and here too, cause yes, I do show my face, and I realized guys do not. I almost always have to ask what they look like, which is like I don't know I guess I feel like if you're a girl but you don't use your photo, it's like society will think you're ashamed of your looks but a guy doesn't use his photo, he's just respecting his privacy. But for me it's like, I don't get the boundaries vibe from a guy, they just expect me to show them my body cause I give them the time of my day
- UniquelyBasic
  
  3 mo
  Maybe your picking up men in the wrong places if it seems to be a pattern of men expecting nudes from you because you said hi to them. Life is full of double standards for both men and women and it sucks, but its just the way it is.

What Girls & Guys Said

013

TheSpaceGnome | 1.2K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.
Yoda

3 mo

Most people think about both the sexual side of a person and the hanging out side, I think it's wrong to discard either as unimportant.
The women I dated tended to obsess about my penis, its actually harder finding one who wants to play video games and do other nerdy stuff than it is to find dick crazed women, but that does not mean I think any ounce of her being horny is bad, I just think basic pervs are boring and nerdy pervs aren't. 🤷🏻

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- Kkstarzz96
  
  3 mo
  I agree with you
urpapi69 | 68 opinions shared on Sexuality topic.
Xper 4

3 mo

First of all, you're beautiful and I bet you have sexy body. Secondly, there's nothing to feel bad about. Nudes are intimate. Sex is intimate. After sex, for a few minutes, we literally are in a state of mind where we can't even think about sex. So no matter how you see it, the guy will look at you for who you are literally just after sex. And we are not horny most of the time either (depends on the guy). And does he still text you when he's not horny? Like I've texted the girls who I was sexually into because I cared for them other than sex too. Think about why you're feeling this way. If you want, you can discuss it with me. I'll be happy to talk to you about it.

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1 Person
- Kkstarzz96
  
  3 mo
  Yes we talked a lot of times without the hornyness. But in the recent months, I got very upset cause it felt like it was taking over. Maybe cause back then, there was more going on in my personal life to discuss, but I still would like my partner to check in with me despite things seemingly going well.
- Kkstarzz96
  
  3 mo
  I don't mind sex being important if they were presently next to me and we had a routine in place of what time is good for both of us to participate but he was texting me and it was getting to be extremely needy of satisfaction from my photos. That's why I had enough to applied to the catfish show to meet him and he got mad at me but if he agrees we get to meet for free and our relationship will have a chance to be real
- urpapi69
  
  3 mo
  Is he not asking you how you are doing?
- Show All Show Less
- Kkstarzz96
  
  3 mo
  I told him to do it and he started to, but you could tell it's not genuine he has an agenda. when we met, it was very heartfelt and considerate. That was 2 years ago though
- urpapi69
  
  3 mo
  I've texted you!
Berethor | 11.5K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.
Guru

3 mo

You are going to miss that in the future. :)

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MenGetOldWomenGetReplaced

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DonkeyDan | 8.2K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.
Guru

3 mo

The more you willingly send nudes to guys the more they will objectify you, just stop lowering yourself to that level.

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- Kkstarzz96
  
  3 mo
  Understood, is there no redemption to the guys I have sent them to? Or what about guys who I have sex with? Like what's the difference? Is there one?
- DonkeyDan
  
  3 mo
  Well I guess in terns of giving sex to guys that would depend on how easily you gave it up to them. Personally I don't see a girl as relationship material if she is prepared to give it up easily, especially on the first date. If I don't have to work for it then there is no value to it or her past sex. I want to have to work for my reward of a relationship.
- Kkstarzz96
  
  3 mo
  When is it working towards it and just being annoying saying no cause you feel some kinda power trip to reject the guy you're dating
- Show All Show Less
- DonkeyDan
  
  3 mo
  Sometimes for a woman it is a power trip, but many just want to get to know the guy and be comfortable around hin before giving him the most intimate of things. For many guys, if a girl gives it up easily for him, he sees that as well I'm not special and she'll likely give it up for many other guys too.
- Kkstarzz96
  
  3 mo
  Yeah I've heard that too. Before yes it was rare I did it, but then I think I became resentful and that's where this became a problem. Even an innocent woman, you have guys bothering her so like I don't understand the process.
OddBeMe | 6.4K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.
Master

3 mo

Yeah some guys don’t get past the lust phase. Hopefully you’ll be able to spot them now.

Fyi, he’ll keep those nudes and probably upload them. Is your face in them?

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- Kkstarzz96
  
  3 mo
  Eh I've sent nudes to my boyfriend's before and they said they forgot where they stored them until they cleaned out their technology, or they said they do not keep them only on the messages and they just keep the messages. But yes
- OddBeMe
  
  3 mo
  Sounds like they’ve been cool so far. But a few friends have been screwed by that. There employers googled their name and those nudes popped up.
- Kkstarzz96
  
  3 mo
  I haven't seen my nudes pop up but I also wouldn't know where to look for home made things that would take a lot of clicking through
- Show All Show Less
- OddBeMe
  
  3 mo
  It’s always good to randomly google yourself like an employer would. “Name, city”. Also keep up your linked in profile as that will be the first thing that pops up. Just good seo sense. :)
- Kkstarzz96
  
  3 mo
  Yeah it's my LinkedIn and that's pretty much it.
- OddBeMe
  
  3 mo
  There you go. It’s annoying but good cover.
  
  If you like uploading nudes of yourself try deviantart. com. You’d be anon and viewers have to have an account to see nude pics.
- Kkstarzz96
  
  3 mo
  I don't enjoy taking nudes. That's why I stopped talking to the guy. I just liked him and wanted him to like me. I'm currently sad on this Friday night cause I'm remembering him lol
- OddBeMe
  
  3 mo
  Ahh. Watch a favorite rom com. Mine is One Fine Day with Clooney. Don’t tell anyone.
- Kkstarzz96
  
  3 mo
  Okay I'll look into it thank you
- OddBeMe
  
  3 mo
  Also like while you’re sleeping with Sandra B. If you tell anyone I’ll deny it!
Heartache0405
Xper 7

3 mo

Probably shouldn’t have objectified yourself. Maybe then men wouldn’t objectify you and you wouldn’t be in this situation 🤷🏻‍♂️ Can’t blame anyone but yourself

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1 Person
- Kkstarzz96
  
  3 mo
  Yeah I know I just don't know what I'm supposed to do next time. There was a time I didn't know about any of that but I was going on dates with guys and they keep asking me to do certain things and I guess unless I said I'm not going to date you anymore, even though I liked them, I gave in. And now I'm scared to be pressured into it, so I just go ahead before they even ask me. Cause I'm afraid if I say no, they'll lose interest and I'll feel like I either choose myself or him but never both. He won't choose me, only himself.
- Heartache0405
  
  3 mo
  Act like a slut and you’ll attract the type of guys that will treat you like an object.
  
  Act like a normal woman should and you’ll attract normal men who act like normal men seeking normal women.
  
  You are what you attract. I personally am not looking so I don’t attract anyone.
- Kkstarzz96
  
  3 mo
  Well I wouldn't say because you're not looking that no one likes you. Sometimes I attracted the weirdest people and surprised myself when the cutest people thought I was worth their time. I don't know if you can decide that beforehand
- Show All Show Less
- Heartache0405
  
  3 mo
  It’s been 7 years for me
- Kkstarzz96
  
  3 mo
  Oh well in relationship terms yeah it's been a few years since I had a boyfriend but there was here and there little feelingships where I was talking to someone, for example this one, and I think that still counts as someone liking you, but it just didn't blossom into a full on relationship, it depends heavily on the places you guys are in in life if it happens
VikingWarLord | 1.3K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.
Yoda

3 mo

You women got all this freedom to be whatever you wanted, most of you chose ONLYFANS. I have no sympathy when men OBJECTIFY you. You clearly don't care, so long as you get paid for being objectified.

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1 Person
- Kkstarzz96
  
  3 mo
  There was no payment and no onlyfans
- VikingWarLord
  
  3 mo
  oh really... well gawdam if you're sending out free NEWDY NUDES, send me some
- Kkstarzz96
  
  3 mo
  Lmao if you don't believe me that's your opinion but yeah that's what my fight was about with him. If I wanted to do this for real I'd be getting paid, I did it cause he liked that and I wanted him to like me. But now I see like, the difference from taking this break
- Show All Show Less
- VikingWarLord
  
  3 mo
  wow well, maybe it's your looks then. Dudes can lose interest if they don't like what they see
- Kkstarzz96
  
  3 mo
  Well we talked about it I asked if he's okay with certain things he said he had no issue with it. I felt like I had to reiterate you can see my lines and unevenness cause I don't edit them, lighting alone takes a lot of time, Im not going to sit there and choose filters before I hit send, but he still insisted they were great
Dragonstarterplus | 1.7K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.
Yoda

3 mo

*Sends nudes of self to a guy repeatedly*
*Complains about being objectified*

...

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- Kkstarzz96
  
  3 mo
  Well cause I started to see myself as only a nude for sexual reasons. Now when I look at myself, I feel like I'm seeing me who I haven't seen in a long time. My perception was warped from taking the photos. At first it's liberating, then it starts to feel like a box like you can't be more than your sexuality
- Dragonstarterplus
  
  3 mo
  That's not his fault
- Kkstarzz96
  
  3 mo
  I mean, can I honestly ask you, are women more than how sexy they are to you? Like what value do we bring to your lives then someone to sleep with and maybe help with chores
Rudon00 | 2.6K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.
Yoda

3 mo

Yes I do agree kKstarrzz96 that relationships that are not forged out of an authentic support and love for each other is not worth investing

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Julian_knight
Xper 1

3 mo

I don't see any colour , body type. I only see if she is loves me or not.

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Anonymous

3 mo

You are the one who sent the nudes. Don’t blame men for what you did. Hypocrisy is a huge turn off

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3 People
- Kkstarzz96
  
  3 mo
  I'm being honest and that's what matters not that I'm perfect and expected perfection I just felt like when it comes down to it, guys are always going to pay attention to our looks more than getting to know us
- pjnickles
  
  3 mo
  Why wouldn't they, when you offer up nudes or easy sex? You made your bed. If you don't like being objectified, stop sending nudes! I'm sure there has to be a few men left on this planet that haven't seen your girlie bits yet. Work on them if you want more. They haven't seen anything yet, so maybe they'd be interested in getting to know you before you show them.
- Kkstarzz96
  
  3 mo
  When is the appropriate time to show them or do I actually have to be a Christian and not show anything unless he marries me lol which I don't understand cause they look the same if you commit or don't, it just depends what the man wants to do. Is it not possible for a man to know what I look like and like who I am at the same time
- Show All Show Less
- pjnickles
  
  3 mo
  "They still look the same." What looks the same? The men, or your girlie bits?
  
  No, you don't have to be Christian or wait for marriage. Neither matrimony nor religion have any bearing on it. All you have to do is have some pride in yourself.
  
  What's with the thought that you HAVE to show? Because everyone else does?
  
  You just keep your clothes on. What's so hard about that? Think of it this way. Why don't you walk in public without clothes? Because it's inappropriate? Because your girlie bits are no one's business? Why not use those as reasons to keep yourself clothed for the individuals you're showing everything to? For some reason, it's their business. or not inappropriate?
  
  You don't need to show to get a man. You don't need to show to compete. You don't need to show to compare to other girls, to say you're better than them. You don't need a nude pic count to say I've shown more than you. You girls just love comparing yourselves to each other, so much so, that you'll sell your soul to outdo someone. You still haven't outgrown that stage yet?
  
  Apparently no one needs to feed you tequila to get your clothes to fall off. They just fall off all by themselves.
  
  SMH
- Kkstarzz96
  
  3 mo
  I don't drink so that's a true assumption
Zolly99999 | 1.3K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.
Xper 7

3 mo

No not all guys think like that..

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- Kkstarzz96
  
  3 mo
  Thanks 😊
Anonymous

3 mo

As a male I wish women objectified men too lol

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- Kkstarzz96
  
  3 mo
  Omg no you don't we do like your parts it's just not that important as other things
- Opinion Owner
  
  3 mo
  So basically women don't sexually objectify male body? That's what I said too
- Kkstarzz96
  
  3 mo
  That's why I said it's not the same, we want you to like us but like us more than what we look like cause looks fade
- Show All Show Less
- Opinion Owner
  
  3 mo
  Looks fade but why not enjoy them as long as they last.
  Women have better looks than men , agree?
- Kkstarzz96
  
  3 mo
  So are you kinda saying my love life will be better when they do fade lol
- Opinion Owner
  
  3 mo
  Um yeah.
  I was wondering do women find male body sexually arousing too?
- Kkstarzz96
  
  3 mo
  Yeah but it's not like if we ever cheat it's for the dick, it's cause whoever she left you for treats her better. Guys will cheat cause the other girl looks good and maybe you slipped, that's why I have the anxiety to please sexually
- Opinion Owner
  
  3 mo
  Straight answer please... do girls find male body as a whole and dicks specifically sexually attractive and want them too as wel or not?
- Kkstarzz96
  
  3 mo
  All of it is great
- Kkstarzz96
  
  3 mo
  I really like guys legs cause I rarely get to see them
- Opinion Owner
  
  3 mo
  Rarely get to see man legs? Eh. Where are you from... lol
  Because generally men wear shorts without any hesitation... no?
  And do you like man legs more than girls legs?
- Kkstarzz96
  
  3 mo
  No girls legs are nicer but yeah no most men in USA do not show their legs
- Opinion Owner
  
  3 mo
  Girls have beautiful and sexier legs, you feel that too?
- Opinion Owner
  
  3 mo
  by the way do you like men with shaved legs and thighs or having lots of hair all over them?
- Kkstarzz96
  
  3 mo
  Thin ankle hair is okay
- Opinion Owner
  
  3 mo
  Ankle hair? You mean some lower leg hair only...
  No hair on upper calf and thighs?
- Kkstarzz96
  
  3 mo
  My thigh hair is so thin it would be a waste of money to pay for that to be lasered off, so I assume guys don't have much on their thighs but how would I know
- Opinion Owner
  
  3 mo
  You do have visible lower leg hair if you don't shave?
  by the way for your information women/girls in general naturally have bare or almost really fine hair on their thighs... the way you describe yours , but men in general do have equal amount of hair as they grow on their lower legs.
  Sadly...
  :/
- Kkstarzz96
  
  3 mo
  I mean it's not a real issue, if he can grow facial hair it's a good indicator that the rest of the body will be able to grow hair. I haven't really dated guys who are hairy
- Opinion Owner
  
  3 mo
  Men in general can / do grow facial hair anyway. No?
  You say you haven't seen guys in shorts/ exposed legs. So have you ever seen shirtless guys?

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