Sexual Relationships
+1 y

Is this a real guy thing?

Me and my husband have been married for a bit over a year now. I'm in early 20s he's in early 30s. Lately he won't touch me or initiate sex with me. Now I'm worried about the following...

His cousin (late 20s and single) won't stop sending him videos of naked girls getting a sensual massage and other videos of actual porn (solo girls). Like girls finger bashing themselves.

They work together every single day and yesterday his cousin asked him to come with him to get "massages" (they do erotic massages) and "get on it" (coke/other drugs).

My husband is a big people pleaser and just agrees to a lot of what they say and do. Thank God yesterday he didn't and came home instead. But his cousin doesn't stop asking. He asks him at least every second or third day.

I think his cousin has zero respect for our marriage and is getting on my last nerve. If I tell my husband he thinks I'm being psycho and tells me to get over it because it's a guy thing I wouldn't understand.

Is this seriously normal for all guys? You all do this?
0 0

Superb Opinion

  • I think you should have your husband bring his cousin home with him one night after work and you need to sit down with all three of them it shouldn't have to be that way but I would think that you would want to say something to the cousin anyway but I would Express to the cousin how you feel about everything because he's not respecting you whatsoever he's manipulating in probably using your husband in some form or matter but

    The day your husband's married to you and he's kind of disrespecting you too big time you don't need to tell your husband how you feel in front of the cousin about him you just need to tell the cousin how you feel and keep it very peaceful very calm very smart and then as soon as you're done let him say what he has to say and then tell him okay you can go to I need to talk to my husband and then tell your husband how you feel stay cool calm and collect because all it takes is one wrong word and then nothing gets solved because everybody yelling and screaming and fighting it's a very simple deal you need to set your own rules your own boundaries and if your husband can't follow those you have to follow through with whatever your rules are your husband should take you to get a massage with him not with the cousin but with your husband to be honest with you I think it's stupid if you keep allowing it to happen he's going to keep doing it and more things

    Don't know about any other guy if I was married and I went to one of those places when I got home I would be fucking hornier than hell and I would be wanting to have sex

    The other thing is is I'm a firm believer in any relationship that if I was to go out in go to one of these places then when my wife or my girlfriend wants to go out and go to one of these places she has every right do do they have guys that give girls massages there because if there is and you say you want to go get a massage if he's doing anything stupid he's going to tell you no because he knows what goes on at those places LOL I wouldn't tell him anything until the night he gets home you're already going to be all dressed up and you're going to say I'll see you when I get home me and my girlfriends are we're going to go out to that place and get massages

    And if everything is on the up-and-up just say okay go have fun but if there's something stupid going on he will start arguing with you because he doesn't want you to go because he knows what's going to happen

Most Helpful Guy

  • Yeah it's nornal, for a sleazebag!

    Not a guy thing to go with your cousin to do drugs and get happy ending massages, especially when your married.

    His cousin is obviously a sad little guy with no other friends and obviously can't get a girl so wants to have a stranger tug him off, but too much of a pussy to go on his own.

    If I was your husband I'd be telling the cousin to get the fuck out of here you little freak.

    • His cousin was about to marry someone but couldn't stay loyal. Shows the kinda person he is I guess. You're very right

    • Don't let him drag your husband down to his level.

Most Helpful Girl

  • That’s not normal whatsoever, and I don’t know any men who do that. You’re not being “psycho,” he is the “psycho” one here.


    He’s acting like he’s still 21 and single. He’s married. He needs to grow up a bit.

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 9

  • Not at all normal.

    Fortunately, it doesn't sound like hubby is instigating the bad behavior. If he doesn't shut it down, you should be concerned.

    If he actually goes to one of these erotic massage places, what is he looking for? A relaxed back? A happy ending?

    What about the drugs? Is that something you partake in together? Not healthy either way. Truly troubling if he's doing it without you.

    • I've caught him in one of these massages before and we argued but he kept denying and saying it's a normal massage even tho they were in full lingerie. The drugs have been an issue about 2 times in our marriage so far..

    • But no I don't partake in it

  • No it's not a guy thing to destroy marriages with lust, I don't know what you want me to tell you, confront his cousin and tell him that it's rude and disrespectful to be ruining your marriage by knocking off the balance by sending him messages of other naked girls or whatnot

    • Do you think it's a good idea to do that even if my husband gets mad about me confronting his cousin?

    • Well yea cause you are protecting your marriage, it's just not right for this guy to just come and ruin it, if you don't stand up for your marriage it's either going to collapse or you are gonna live an unhappy marriage.

  • You'll have to assess the situation and consider being assertive and letting him know what you are and aren't okay with.

  • It’s not normal. You sound worried tho?

    • I'm worried that my marriage is becoming sexless with too many arguments because his cousin keeps asking him to go for erotic massages and to take drugs.

  • Your husband does erotic massage or he gets them? I suppose getting a happy ending would be better than having him giving happy ending. But that would be up to you. His cousin sounds like a dick.

  • No. Its not normal at all.
    You should discuss it with your husband

  • You're making something out of nothing. You have a good man, so appreciate that a little more.

  • Time to move on I'd say

  • I think you should just talk to your husband about how you feel. It will solve a lot of things. Videos are just videos. They don’t mean much to guys. Just ask him to have sex with you more. Tell him you are always horny or something.

    • Tried that. He said i make him feel like shit when i asked and that when he's in the mood he'll come to me. I haven't asked in 3 weeks now he's coming asking for a blowjob instead of sex

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